


Violet Entente

by clutchesofaname, Paranoic_Still_Life



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Anxiety, Arguing, Bullying, College AU, Depression, Domestic, Eating Disorder, King Anna, M/M, Nightmares, Rating May Change, Roommates, Slow Build, alliance building, mentions of Saruhiko's abusive dad, post-Missing Kings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:06:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 66,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4621263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clutchesofaname/pseuds/clutchesofaname, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paranoic_Still_Life/pseuds/Paranoic_Still_Life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Violet - the combination of red and blue<br/>Entente - an alliance</p><p>Reisi Munakata and and the new Red King, Anna Kushina, would like to put aside the differences between their clans and form and alliance. However, there is a HUGE obstacle in their way - the rift between Saruhiko and Misaki. Forced to share a dorm room for the next four years, can friendship be repaired or will the rift between the clans grow larger?<br/>Basically all the same information as canon but the boys finished high school.</p><p>This started as an RP between me and another Saruhiko and then Clutchesofaname and I decided to make it into a multi-chapter fanfic. THIS ONLY GOES UP TO THE END OF SEMESTER ONE. WITH THE FINISH OF ROK THERE WILL BE SOME THINGS THAT ARE AGAINST CANON.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Misaki Yata was a cesspool of emotions. At 20 years old, he had been through a lot. At 14, he had moved in with his once-best friend into a small apartment. They lived together until they turned 16, when Misaki was betrayed. At 19, a man named Tatara Totsuka, one whom Yata looked up to, died in his arms. Later that year, a few months before his birthday, Yata had lost the king of his clan. A lot had happened in the year following and he was 20 now. Anna Kushina had become king, and as HOMRA's vanguard, he had sworn to protect her. 

So why was it that now the redhead was staring at a spacious dorm for two? He had been dragged here literally kicking and screaming by Rikio Kamamoto and Izumo Kusanagi. Yata hadn’t agreed to this at all. The new red king and the blue king. Reisi Munakata, wanted to make amends and build an alliance. However, to do so, there was one huge obstacle in the way- and that was the rift between Yata and Saruhiko Fushimi, the "vegetable hating, psychotic, stupid monkey."

Out of the two, Saruhiko was the one who remained at a calm composure throughout the whole ordeal, his facial expression never showing the slightest bit of anger. Honestly, he didn't mind having to stay with the hot-headed skater in the same dorm room. In fact, he willingly agreed to do so when Reisi had ordered him to. But there was one thing that drove the blue clansman back, an idea that he completely disapproved of; the alliance of the two kings. Which meant he'd technically be part of HOMRA again with the same people that he once left behind long ago. So why did this have to happen now?

Scratching at the used-to-be HOMRA symbol near his collarbone, Saru blew out a sigh as he sat on the edge of the dorm room bed, watching the vanguard's actions closely from out of the corner of his eye. Getting along seemed like the least out of their options, so he had no clue how this would turn out.

"Misaki..." he continued. "There's no way you can get out of this. So you might as well give it up already."  
Misaki was more irritable than ever and Izumo stared at the smaller male, clearly exasperated. "Yata-chan," he warned but for once, it didn't faze the other. 

"No way! I refuse to stay here with that traitorous piece of shit!" Misaki pointed violently at the black-haired male, his eyes burning with anger. There were plenty of reasons that he didn't want to stay with Fushimi: he was a traitor, a fussy eater, and lazy. But worst of all, Yata was afraid of being reminded of happy memories they once shared from living together for a short time. 

"I didn't even agree to come to this stupid college! I'm HOMRA's vanguard! Isn't it enough that I passed high school!? My job is to protect the king, not sit around playing house with a stupid monkey!" Misaki was shouting at this point, probably loud enough that the whole dorm could hear him.  
All this yelling was starting to get on Saruhiko’s nerves. Saru wished Misaki would just give in already. He was aware that the brunette absolutely hated his guts because of his past betrayal of HOMRA but there was no other way to get out of this. He had no other options available. It was either agree, or be forced to agree. If only Misaki would have realized that by now. 

Evidently enough, his words had no effect whatsoever towards the brunett, nor did it reach out to him. Either that, or he wasn't listening, or maybe he just chose to ignore. It all seemed very likely. Especially the last one. The clansman wanted to be heard, however, since in all honesty, Izumo wasn't all that helpful at the moment. Not one bit. The situation only seemed to have gotten worse as the two fought. All Misaki needed was some sense knocked into him. And he was the one who was going to do that.

With a raised voice, his tone of words were slightly harsh, all in hopes to get the attention of the smaller male, even if it meant yelling back. "Hey Misaki..! Quiet down. Did you even listen to what I said?!" Saruhiko huffed. The taller man stood from off of the bed to approach him, but also made sure to keep his distance just in case Misaki attempted to lash out on him. "Listen! There's no way out. You're going to have to stay with me whether you like it or not."  
"Yata-san...calm down," Rikio tried intermittently but he was ignored. Izumo sighed heavily, watching the irritation in Fushimi arise. It seemed things would get worse before they got better. 

Misaki flinched a bit at the harsh tone in Saruhiko's voice. Uneasiness was quickly replaced with a sharp glare at the tall blue. Misaki opened his mouth to argue and even raised his hand, red aura slowly wrapping around it. But a tiny hand gripped his other wrist and Anna Kushina shook her head. 

Misaki seemed to deflate, having been told to stop by his new king. Wordlessly, he flopped back on the bed and his clan members...his family...they left him alone in a room with the person he hated most in this world. The only sound for some time was the soft ticking of the wall clock. Misaki had always been a chatter box when they had lived together but this was different.  
Cyan orbs pierced forward, shooting a cold glare back at the hot-headed vanguard. His words did indeed get the brunette's full attention, and it was exactly the way he wanted it to. A devious grin immediately crossed over the Blue's pale lips, one that was from ear to ear. He loved it more than anything when Misaki got pissed, especially to the point where he wanted to kill Saru with real intent. It was easy to anger the elder, and it was quite enjoyable too.

But as soon as the new Red King stopped the angered male, a feeling of disappointment overcame him, causing him to click his tongue distastefully. She had ruined the fun that could have been. Not that he hated Anna or anything of the sort... but now the vanguard was back to his usual self again, all thanks to her. Sure, he could just piss Misaki off again. It wasn't that hard to do. But he knew for a fact that they would come back just to calm the arson down again. This was going to be a real pain.  
Misaki waited for some time before standing. He knew the next few years would test his patience. Well, that was under the assumption the former friends didn't kill each other within a week's time. 

Misaki huffed loudly in annoyance as he began unpacking his boxes, half-haphazardly tossing clothes on his bed to be hung up as well as a bag of toiletries, a pillow he'd had since middle school, and the blanket that had always been used by Totsuka. To say the least, the young man was still quite sentimental. 

He was also choosing to ignore his roommate's presence as much as possible. This would be the only good way for him to not want to burn the building down. He just needed to go to his classes, find a decent club, make friends, maybe get another job, and go about his life. He only needed to cook meals for himself. He certainly didn't care if that idiot ape died from malnutrition or ended up with diabetes from his poor diet.  
With crossed arms, the ravenett darted his cyan hues off to the side, huffing loudly almost at the same time as the vanguard. He couldn't believe he even agreed to do this. Now, Saruhiko was regretting it more than ever. But it was the Blue King's orders after all... so he couldn't really disobey. Even though he wished he would have.

Letting out an irritated sigh, he silently watched as the chestnut-haired male unpacked all his boxes and whatnot, clicking his tongue in annoyance at the mess Misaki was already making. That was the least of his worries, however, and neither was unpacking his own items. It was already quite obvious by now that the other was ignoring him, and all Fushimi wanted at the moment was Misaki's attention. He wanted Misaki to at least get pissed at him because nowadays that seemed to be the only way to ever get him to notice Saruhiko. Not that it mattered; Saruhiko enjoyed it to say the least. 

"Oi, Misakiii… you don't honestly think you can ignore me forever, right? You know that's impossible. We live in the same dorm room, after all. So why don't you act like it?" he continued to taunt him. "Honestly... Misaki... just think things through for once in that small head of yours so that I don't have to tell you all this."  
Misaki was slowly working on collapsing empty boxes so he could take them down to the incinerator. Ignoring the elephant in the room...or in this case, the Saruhiko Fushimi, wasn't going to be easy. And he certainly couldn't do it for a number of months straight, let alone years! 

Misaki's avoided looking at Saruhiko when he finally spoke. He had half a mind to go off the handle and beat the other to a pulp. But frankly, he didn't have the energy for that. He didn't have the energy for a lot of things: eating, sleeping...even those seemed like a pain since he had lost another person close to him. 

"Yea, I'm pretty stupid, huh?" Silence swelled in the air as he gathered the boxes under one arm. The redhead spoke after another moment. "If its attention and my anger you want, try something better than insulting my intelligence, shitty monkey. At the very least, I can hope you're in some fucking smarty-pants classes and away from me."  
"Ahhh... you're right. Maybe I should try something better." The taller let out a flat, brief chuckle, shrugging his shoulders as if saying he didn't care one bit. "How is it possible to insult your intelligence when you don't even have any? I mean, honestly. At least you figured out that I was trying to get your attention. However, You didn't even stop to think that I did get what I want after all." 

The ebony-haired male was having way too much fun taunting the other with insults; a little too much fun, though. Despite not really getting the reaction he had hoped for, it at least suppressed his boredom. And not only that, but it also filled the blues’ sick, twisted mind with pleasure.

It wasn't quite enough, however. And he came upon realization that Misaki wasn't looking at him for once, even though Saru obviously knew that from before. Maybe that's why Misaki wasn't as angered. It easily irritated the taller male, his brow twitching slightly in response. He had to get Misaki to look at him. He had to. 

With the chestnut-haired vanguard already looking away, it was his perfect chance. As Saruhiko silently snaked his way over, he came to stand behind him. Whilst keeping his distance, one calloused hand reached out to touch the arson's shoulder to get him to turn around, knowing full well he'd react at the sudden contact.  
Misaki sighed loudly, a mixture of annoyance and fatigue. At his side, he kept clenching and opening his fist, red sparks occasionally dancing in his palm for a moment. Self-control was proving difficult but he had promised the others he would do his best. 

Misaki had just been reaching for the door when he felt slender fingers grab his shoulder. The smaller had a hunch as to what the other wanted but he chose to oblige, just this once. He could have smacked the hand away without even glancing but instead he turned around. 

Across the room it was hard to tell but up close, if one knew the vanguard well enough, it was clear he had changed. He was thinner, though his baggy clothes mostly hid this fact except in his face. His eyes lacked any of the feistiness that seemed to define Misaki Yata. He looked up at Saruhiko, not with a glare but sheer boredom. Misaki certainly hadn't learned self-control, he just didn't seem to care. He wasn't himself lately and it wasn't a secret to anyone. In his own way, he hoped living with this traitor would bring some of the excitement back into his life.  
"Geez..." Saruhiko continued, his tone of voice low and sharp. "Don't ignore me when I'm talking--" As soon as the redhead turned around to face him, he stopped abruptly, surprise and shock immediately washing over him in a violent wave. His former friend looked just plain awful. Knowing him well, he could already tell that he hadn't been taking care of himself properly for the last couple of months. 

Staring down at the smaller male, Saruhiko still couldn't believe what he saw. His gaze was cold to begin with behind those rectangular frames, yet a glint of pity could barely be seen in his cyan eyes. 

"…What the hell happened to you?" Saruhiko asked, almost sounding concerned, shaking his head in disbelief for a moment. "Tsk. Just look at yourself..." With a slender hand he touched the side of Misaki's skinny waist, noticing it had gotten a concerning amount thinner. Misaki had always been slightly pudgy, not that anyone had ever really known. But now, he was all skin and bones that “cute” baby fat lost. Misaki’s hair lacked any life or luster and it looked a little greasy. Everything about him just seemed dull and lifeless.  
Misaki sensed the look of pity in Saruhiko's eyes and furrowed his brow in frustration. His glare didn't hold even an ounce of its usual ferocity. Misaki could detect a hint of disappointment in Saruhiko's voice and he swallowed hard. 

He suddenly felt like crying. He wasn't sure why...It was taking every bit of his self-control to push back tiny tears that burned at the corners of his golden eyes. What set him off at last, was a hand grazing his waist. The shorter male quickly swatted the pale hand away. "Don't touch me! And...Don’t talk like you know me..." 

Before Saruhiko could even react his hand was soon quickly swatted away from the chestnut-haired male's petite waist. He sighed heavily, a frown taking place on Saruhiko's thin, pale lips. Not only did he seem lifeless, but it seemed as if he was starving himself, too.  
It was obvious to Saruhiko that the other was on the verge of crying by the way he held back. Misaki was too easy to read. He was always like an open book. It was never difficult for Saru to figure out what the wild crow was feeling or even thinking. However, it completely baffled the Blue to think that he would be crying over something like this. Misaki had always been a crybaby when they were younger but this was different.

Misaki gathered the trash under his arms and turned on his heel quickly. He threw open the door and stumbled out before breaking into a run. He wanted as far away from those knowing blue eyes as possible. 

Saruhiko couldn't even bring himself to speak at this point. It was already too late. He watched as Misaki ran off on his own, leaving Saruhiko in the spacious dorm room alone to wonder whether or not he should follow Misaki.


	2. Chapter 2

His heart was pounding in his chest as he finally reached the incinerator. The small crow slid down, pressing his back to the warm metal, still trying desperately to fight the urge to start sobbing. Misaki pulled his legs to his chest as a harsh sob wracked his body. He felt stupid. He hated crying and even moreso, he hated crying in public. When he was younger, it hadn't bothered him. As he got older, he felt he had an image to uphold. Needless to say, he hadn't cried this hard in a long time. 

Misaki squeezed his knees, digging his nails into his skin. He hoped that the slight sting of pain would distract him, help him to stop crying but for once, it just made it worse. 

By the time he would catch a glimpse of blue coming for him, his face would be a tear-stained mess. He wasn't even sure why he was crying at this point. Was he mad at Saruhiko? Mad that the other knew him so well? Mad that he had teased him? Was he mad at his own weakness? He wasn't able to keep a best friend...why did he ever think that he could protect the guys in HOMRA?  
With slight hesitation, Saruhiko exhaled deeply before exiting the room, heading to the one place that the chestnut-haired arson could of possibly ran off to: the incinerator. It was most reasonable out of all, judging by the trash Misaki held earlier. It seemed unlikely for Misaki to be smart enough to hide somewhere else. 

Heading down the long narrow passage with hands inside his blue coat pockets, the ravenet silently strolled along, a heavy sigh slipping its way out of the Blue's pale, thin lips, eyes closed as he did so. What was he going to say when confronting his former friend? There would really be no point in taunting him anymore because of the lifeless state he was in. It'd be considered bullying and even Saruhiko wasn’t that cruel. 

Quickly setting his brief thoughts aside, Saruhiko came to a sudden halt. Faint, harsh sobs could be heard, sounding as though it was all coming from inside the incinerator room. So he was correct after all. Of course, that was simple enough to figure out for Saruhiko. But why would the typically strong, impetuous vanguard be crying? That was one thing he couldn't figure out.

Maybe it was a terrible idea to follow after the brunet. It would be a waste to turn back now, however. He hadn’t come here for nothing but he certainly wasn’t sure why he had come.   
Upon entering the room, cyan hues almost instantly locked onto the other. From what Saru observed, Misaki’s whole face was glistening with tears. He couldn't even bring himself to say a word. It was such an awful, pitiful sight.  
"Shut up!" Misaki shouted, well sobbed. The other hadn't said anything yet but the he already expected a snide comment from Fushimi. "Don't you say a goddamn word!"

Misaki got to his feet and just stared at the flames inside the incinerator as they licked up and consumed the trash inside. "I know...I'm pathetic...and stupid...and useless...and loud." 

Misaki's small fist collided with the metal wall of the incinerator and he hissed in pain and anger at himself. "I couldn't protect anyone! They died because I'm too weak! Too pitiful!" Misaki slammed his left fist this time, then his right again. 

His fists alternated, slamming into hot metal until he slid to his knees on the floor again, fists bloodied and small body quivering. "I couldn't even...keep...my best friend...I'm the worst..." 

Misaki felt helpless and pathetic. Having Saruhiko nearby only made it worse. Everyone he cared for left in the end...Saru was still here but it wasn't the same. Saruhiko wouldn't smile and tell him when he was worrying over pointless stuff. They'd never stay up late playing games...or eating pineapple fried rice under a kotatsu...  
Things were different now and even Saruhiko knew that. This left him with an extreme dilemma…how did he deal with Misaki in this state? Hugging the smaller male would surely be too strange, too intimate. Taunting him just seemed cruel…

"Get up," he said. "Come on. Your dramatics won't fix anything. Get up," he continued, staring down at his quivering form. "You're not taking care of yourself. When was the last time you got proper sleep? A proper meal? Hurting yourself won't fix the past. It won't bring anyone back. There's no point to it. Get up," he finished, rather awkwardly. He wasn't entirely sure he reacted the right way; there was no point in taunting him right now. He couldn't bring himself to feign intimacy and touch him, in any way. Perhaps being blunt was best.

Misaki’s thin brows knitted in confusion and frustration. He wasn’t sure what to do or say…Saruhiko wasn’t exactly being nice to him but he wasn’t being a dick either. Slowly, the vanguard got to his feet, legs shaking a bit. “What would you know? And you’re one to talk about eating properly.” It was a very weak retort but one that showed he was attempting to be himself. 

In reply to his words, the blue-clad man just let out a 'tch.' He really wasn't one to talk about taking care of oneself. More often than not, his meals consisted of what was best described as filler: enough to give him energy, but nothing more than that. He took no solace or comfort in food; as a result, his sleep was often terrible and he relied on caffeine to keep him functioning during the day. However, that was different. He couldn't say how, but it was. 

Running a lightly tanned hand through his hair, Misaki opened the incinerator and shoved the boxes inside. Closing the small door, he turned his back to the flames inside the incinerator and looked up at Saruhiko. A loud sigh passed his lips and while he debated saying ‘thank you’ he instead motioned for them to leave. He considered getting food but bringing it up seemed strange and he knew he looked like hell. 

He watched as Misaki put the boxes into the incinerator. The light danced off of the vanguard’s face, which really had grown more slender, and his eyes truly lacked any of the life he had before. Instinctively, Saruhiko reached up and let his fingers graze across the mark below his collarbone. The door to the incinerator closed quickly and Misaki turned to face him. Saruhiko didn't say anything; he just sighed.

The moment was over as quickly as it happened. The smaller male moved to leave, and Saruhiko followed behind him. They didn't say anything on their journey back; Misaki was the first one to speak, in their room.   
Awkward silence swelled between them and hung heavily in the air, even once the two were inside their room. “So…” Misaki began softly, shifting awkwardly.   
Saru had started to unpack when he heard Misaki speak. He looked over at the ginger. "Hm?"

What could he want? The blue haphazardly tossed his clothes into the dresser as he thought about what Misaki could want. To talk about what happened? Not likely. Apologize? Not in this day and age. Filling the silence? Most likely.

Misaki took a deep breath. At present, he was working to clean and bandage his hand. He hadn’t been sure what to say and the silence was deafening. Before he had even thought about it, he had tried to strike up conversation only to have it die immediately. 

“Food…” Misaki said at last. He rubbed the back of his neck and chewed his lip, “What do you want to eat? I can order pizza...” It was a lame offer but an offer nonetheless. Misaki wasn’t sure what else they would be able to agree on to eat and he knew that Saruhiko would probably be too finicky for anything else right now. And frankly, he barely had an appetite himself but somehow he felt that he had to try to eat.

"I don't really care. Order whatever," he said, and silence permeated the room again. If Saruhiko didn't like it he could always grab one of the supplements that pervaded his diet. Not like Misaki would care, otherwise; he had his own problems to worry about. "Just don't make it gross. I don't want it stinking up the room." He finished with his clothes and moved to put his various electronics on the desk.

"Whatever," Misaki mumbled. He picked up the phone book that had been left on their counter and pressed buttons on his watch phone. The thing was quite old and sometimes messed up a little but because it had been a gift, he couldn't part with it. 

That old thing? He was still using it? Saruhiko chuckled under his breath as he sorted out the chargers. Misaki could get a better one, a newer one. Whatever he wants to do, the blue thought to himself.

Finally, the pizza place picked up and asked what he wanted. Misaki contemplated for a moment before ordering a pizza that had meat and pineapple and vegetables on only half. After asking for a total and giving his address, he hung up and went about organizing more of his own things.

Finished with his unpacking, Saruhiko laid back down on his bed while Misaki blundered around the room. He wasn't exactly being loud, but the stark contrast of movement against the nonexistent soundtrack of the room was enough to annoy him slightly. He had forgotten just how loud other people could be. Clenching his jaw, he attempted to get comfortable.

Misaki heard the black haired male chuckled but ignored it. That smug bastard...what was on his mind? It didn't matter really...At least that's what he would tell himself as he began working on putting what little food he brought with him in the kitchen. 

After some time, there was a soft knock on the door. "Oi, monkey...get the door. Money's on the table," Misaki called over his shoulder. This scene felt strangely nostalgic and oddly comforting but he quickly shook that thought aside.

Saru rolled his ankles as he popped his neck. He rolled his head back to look at the short male move in the small kitchen, unpacking boxes of this, cans of that... It brought back many distant, distant memories he had shoved to the back of his mind. Overall it wasn't much, but he didn't need anyone cooking for him. He could handle his own food.  
His eyes darted to the door. Already? Damn. He hunkered down further. "I'm busy. You get it. It’s your pizza anyway."

"You aren't busy - you're just lying there! Besides, I - the generous Misaki Yata - ordered half without vegetables because SOMEONE is picky." Misaki put his hand on his hips and pointed to himself with his thumb proudly. He was trying his best to act normal and normal consisted of being...well, a little shit.

He stared at Yata, expression vacant. Wordlessly, he stood up and grabbed the money. Opening the door he handed it to the poor sap and took the pizza, quickly closing the door behind him. The smell wafted to his nose; at once, his stomach rumbled and he was hit with a wave of nausea. He set it on the remaining counter space and stood there. "Well? Is 'the generous Misaki' going to eat?"

Pizza was better as a concept and not actually a reality to two half-starved young men; Misaki from depression and Saruhiko from pickiness. 

"Yea! Of course, I will!" Misaki huffed. He stormed over with two freshly rinsed plates. Misaki hadn't put much thought into it when he grabbed them but now that he stared at them, he wanted to swap them out. They had been the same plates Misaki had bought for his and Saruhiko's apartment.   
Pretending not to care, he opened the box and placed two slices on one and thrust it at Saruhiko. "And don't pick off the pineapple."

Did he intentionally pick those plates? Saru swallowed as he watched the older confidently open the box and picked two slices off. He took the plate and looked down. His stomach rolled as he stared down the cheese coagulated with meat and pineapple, coagulated with... He shook his head and bravely took a bite. It wasn't bad... But it wasn't good either.   
"Way to pick the world’s shittiest pizza," he muttered as he walked to his desk. Before he knew it he was to the crust.

Misaki picked at his own pizza slowly. Occasionally, he picked it up and nibbled a little bit off of it. At Saruhiko's comment, he clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Yea? And I got the world's shittiest roommate but we can't do anything about that, now can we?"

Saruhiko stopped mid-chew for a moment, and another moment before resuming. Setting down the half-eaten second slice, he pushed his plate away from him and reached for his PDA. "Guess we can't. We're both under orders to live together-- not that it'd matter much to you," he added, tapping the screen nonchalantly.  
Misaki ignored Saruhiko as he continued to nibble at his food. After about five or so minutes he turned to tell the other to put his plate in the sink but Saruhiko was already asleep. 

"Lazy monkey," Misaki grumbled. He gathered his own plate, which held an entire other piece of pizza, and Saru's plate to the kitchenette. He crammed the pizza box in the fridge. After switching off the light, he fumbled to his bed and within moments, drifted into a deep sleep as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up that there is some homophobia in this chapter. Teenage/college-aged guys can be bigots and that's unfortunately just the way it is. Also, I am not sorry for my 'Misaki has freckles' headcanon. As of write now, we have completed chapters 4 & 5 but I will probably post them on a week-by-week basis. Also...there's a poorly written basketball game in this chapter. Enjoy!

A barren wasteland...No, this was Shizume City...but it was in shambles. Ahead of him there were two figures, the backs of two men he could never hope to be as great as.   
He opened his mouth to shout for them but nothing came out. The heat in the air was suffocating and was practically squeezing his throat closed. As he took a step forward, the figures in front of him burst into flames leaving neither blood, nor bone, nor even ash...

Shit... had Misaki always been such a rough sleeper? Saru could hear him thrashing from across the dorm, occasionally hitting the wall, but mostly he was just tangling himself up in his sheets. Saruhiko didn't sleep well most nights, if he slept at all, and this certainly wasn't helping. Should he shake him awake? Not worth the fight. Throw something at him? Not worth it the outburst of anger. Ultimately, he just turned on his back and called out, "Misaki," hoping it'd rouse him from the other from his sleep.  
Misaki heard his name and awoke with a startled gasp. His heart was pounding hard in his chest, cold sweat coated his body and made his chestnut hair cling to his face and neck. Tears threatened at the corners of his eyes and he felt sick - sick from the dream but also out of guilt. Classes had been going for a week now and while the two had barely spoken to one another, Misaki had taken notice that Saruhiko still barely slept. 

"Sorry..." he muttered weakly, stumbling from his bed and rushing from the bathroom. He refused to show weakness again in front of the other again. Misaki collapsed against the door and slid to the floor and began sobbing vehemently. 

Saruhiko sat up and rubbed his eyes before putting his glasses on. The bathroom door slammed behind Misaki. Great.

He pretended not to hear, at least not to bring it up in front of him. But if the canguard thought he could sob uncontrollably in the bathroom and no one hear it, it was surefire proof that Misaki Yata was an idiot. The least he could do was turn on the shower, then it'd be better disguised. The door might have been closed but he could have been in front of him for all the difference it made with the paper thin walls.

Saruhiko rose from bed and stretched before yanking off his sleeping shirt and walking to his dresser. He left the shirt on the floor and opened up the top drawer, starting a search for clothes. 

It took about five minutes for Misaki to calm down and another two to get past that terrible after-crying hyperventilation. He rose to his feet on shaking, tanned legs and stared into the mirror. He was a mess and he knew that but in an attempt to save face, he washed his face and brushed his teeth before returning to the room. 

"Don't leave your clothes lying around," he muttered with more venom than usual. After grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a loose fitting sweater from his drawer, Misaki quickly stripped and changed. Thankfully, in their short time together, he had been gaining a bit of weight back but he was still self-conscious.

By the time Misaki returned from the bathroom wearing a mask of anger, Saruhiko was almost fully dressed in casual clothes, different than what he wore for his work with Scepter 4. He clicked his tongue and kicked them into a corner. "What's got you so upset this morning?" he snarled back, throwing his notebooks into a messenger bag along with a netbook and charger. "Missing your precious HOMRA?"

"What's got me so upset? Probably your existence," Misaki retorted angrily. He slung his bag over his shoulder, having packed it the night before and glowered sharply. 

The red stopped before reaching the door and turned with a cold smile. "I may miss HOMRA, but at least I have people who will miss me as well. See you in phys. Ed." Misaki all but pulled the door off its hinges to escape the room and stomp to his first class of the day.

Saru snarled at the closed door and reached towards his collarbone, digging at the scarred skin before grabbing two protein bars, shoving them in the bag, and stalking off in the direction of his class. Thankfully, said class was not in the same direction as his hot-headed roommate. He continued scratching along his collarbone as he went, scowl glued to his face.  
Misaki stomped towards class in a fury and sat with a huff. Honestly, he could only wish that the class would pass by slower as it meant not having to see Saruhiko any time soon. Wouldn't that be great? The only time it seemed he had a break from the other was in the classes they didn't share which revolved around the degrees they were working towards.

In his own class, Saruhiko sat in his seat and set his bag in front of him. He dug out his netbook and notebook, to give the facade of productivity, and launched the program. Speaking of programs... he hardly shared any classes with Misaki. This was odd considering they were both in highly technical programs – himself in IT and Misaki in video game design. Both had a lot of overlap, much to both their chagrin.

If Misaki was slacking off, it didn't concern Saruhiko. Entering his password, he pretended to pay attention to what the professor was talking about while answering emails and catching up on what work he could manage without physically being there.

Misaki sat patiently, listening to the words of his professor and occasionally scribbling down notes. His mind wandered momentarily; when would Saruhiko catch on that 'video game programming' was a big, fat lie? It really didn't matter but telling anyone his real major seemed embarrassing and he certainly didn't need Saruhiko to find out.   
An hour and a half passed all too quickly and Misaki groaned. He would normally adore physical education - any excuse to run around and be active- but Saruhiko was in that class and often, they got partnered together. No doubt that the school had been told SOMETHING because they got paired in every damn core class they shared.   
Misaki groaned at the thought as he gathered his notebooks and haphazardly shoved them in his bag. Slinging the worn crimson backpack over one shoulder, he scuffled slowly to his next class.

Before class ended, Saru checked the syllabus to get an idea of what he had to do. He started packing his bag, shoving netbook and charger (the thing had reached low battery after 45 minutes of use, pathetic) in without care. Slinging it over his torso, he started walking towards the dreaded Phys Ed class. What did he need Phys Ed for? It was completely unrelated to his major; pissing away money. He could be taking more relevant classes and ultimately be graduating faster, but the university insisted on "culturing their students" to promote "being well rounded." Within moments he was there, thanks to the relative distance from his building to the sports complex. He pushed the door open into the locker room, walking slowly to his locker.

Misaki was thankful that at the very least his locker was a decent ways away from Saruhiko. When the aforementioned entered the room, Misaki had already shoved his bag inside and began stripping of his regular clothes. Basketball was a dreaded sport for short people but Misaki actually enjoyed it well enough. The ginger pulled his shirt on first and wondered why he kept getting occasional glances. Maybe it was all the damn freckles on his shoulders? He wasn't sure.

Saruhiko walked past Misaki's row, the low mutters echoing between the lockers. Turning, he walked to his locker, entering the combination and stashing his bag. He pulled out his gym clothes, quickly changing and walking towards the gym door. He caught bits of conversation; either boisterous conversation about trivial matters, or words spoken at normal levels about... what was this? Two people in front of him talking without care. Saruhiko listened in, going unnoticed.

"Did you see?" The first guy asked. 

"Yeah man, totally thought he was a girl,” The other replied without missing a beat.

"I dunno...He's kind of cute," the first said, laughing a bit.

"Don't be gross dude, you aren't going homo on me are you?"

"Don't lie, you know you'd tap that if you had a chance. If you just look at him from behind..."

"Dude. You're so gross...but I've never seen red hair like that. I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes." 

"Just peek in the showers."

With that, the two males in front of Saruhiko laughed, high fived each other and walked faster. 

Misaki had easily caught up to Saruhiko and gently kicked the other's backside. "Move it, monkey, you're too slow."

"Walk around me. And while you're at it, catch up with your newfound fan club," he replied, continuing to walk at his leisurely pace. Their conversation was...typical, if he had learned anything in the past week. Oafs. He opened the door and walked into the noisy gym, frowning.

"Fan club?" Misaki walked to Saruhiko's side and looked up at him curiously. As usual, Misaki was oblivious when it came to things like that. He grinned a bit. "So somebody thinks I'm cool? Of course I am!" he laughed boastfully.

"Oh yes, they thought you were very cool. Their favorite thing about you is how effeminate you are. They can talk sexually about you and not be worried about appearing gay," Saruhiko deadpanned, looking down and waiting for the gears to turn and his inevitably over-the-top reaction. Oh Misaki. Get embarrassed, make a scene, and get more embarrassed at the stares...

Misaki stopped boasting and his expression went from confused to angry. "Haaaaa? What did you just call me, you damn perverted monkey!?" Misaki grabbed the collar of Saruhiko's shirt and glared up at him. "The only one disgusting enough to talk like that is you!!"

"I'm not the ones who were just talking about 'tapping that' and seeing 'if the carpet matches the drapes’," he explained coolly. "But I'm sure they'd be happy to do either of those, eh Misaki?" he goaded, drawing out his name slightly. It was enough to keep Misaki going but not enough to truly piss him off. Yet. "If you can't talk to women, maybe men are up your alley. Go on; get their numbers. Woo them with your charm."

Misaki clicked his tongue in annoyance and narrowed his golden eyes. “I’m not gay like you, shitty monkey.” Misaki placed his hands in the pockets of his gym shorts and stomped towards the center of the gym.

Oh nice. A stab at his sexuality. Saru rolled his eyes and walked towards the line, positioning himself as far away from him as possible.  
"Ones are north, twos are south," the coach bellowed. He counted off 1, 2 as he went down the line. Boys high fived and jogged towards their end of the court. Two. Saruhiko went to the other side of the gym, where Misaki's fan club was.

"Man, that ginger really lit into you. The fuck did you say?" the shorter, stockier one asked.

"He's got energy. Bet you can't wait to fuck him, huh?" the taller, more muscled one asked, elbowing his friend in the ribs.  
The first shoved his friend away, shouting, "Dude, I'm not gay! He looks like a chick from behind!" Saruhiko clicked his tongue in distaste and turned away.

 

Misaki wasn't listening, but what else was new? He waited to be given a number and thanked god that he wasn't on the same team as Saruhiko.   
"Hey, shrimp, would you vanguard for us?" A taller man asked, staring down at him. Ignoring the comment about his height, Misaki pumped his fist into the air. "You got it!! And don't worry about that gloomy, glasses guy. He's really lazy and weak."

God, Misaki was so excited about sports. Saruhiko rolled his eyes as his teammates argue who to send for the 'opening tip,' whatever that was. They argued back and forth about who was taller, Saru or the muscle head who taunted his friend. Ultimately they decided the half inch and fifty pounds of muscle he had on Saru was better. He jogged towards the center of the gym; the other guys shouted directions so loud the other team could hear them. And know what they're going to do. Idiots.

Misaki was huddled close to the others, muttering directions to his team. When it came down to it, he wasn't a complete moron. "Alright!" he called and headed back towards the center of the gym. The tallest member of his team, Shogo, would try to steal the ball when the coach first released it into the air. The initial plans were simple and if the other team got it, it would need to be stolen and make its way back to Misaki who would get it to Shogo.

Team two agreed it would be best to space out physically and mostly play defense. It wouldn't be too hard, right? They also agreed Saru should guard Misaki-- why, he couldn't imagine, other than how they all thought their fight was amusing. He stood to the side and tried to look like he was engaged as the coach tossed the ball in their air, blew the whistle, and their center passed the ball.

"Shit! He's got it!" Shogo shouted. Misaki nodded and moved quickly, for now he stayed at the rear guard and waited. One of his team members knocked the ball away and passed it to Misaki who caught it with ease. He dribbled it quickly and practically sprinted for the two point line.

Saru knocked into him, bony shoulder first, sending them both to the floor. Saru was splayed out on the court as the whistle blew loudly, the ball bouncing away.  
"Oh...fuck..." Misaki groaned softly as he was sent flat on his ass.

"Fushimi! What was that?!" He stood up and readjusted his glasses.

"Guess I didn't know I was moving so fast," he explained. He stood up and brushed himself off. The coach shook his head. 

"That's your warning. Next time it's a foul," he said, blowing the whistle. "Yata! Get the ball!" Saru grinned at Misaki as his teammates doubled over.

"Damn monkey...did that on purpose," he growled under his breath. Misaki got to his feet carefully. 

"Man, you okay? You said that guy was weak but he totally nailed ya," Shogo laughed a bit and helped Misaki up. The redhead glared but grabbed the ball. "Whatever, if he does it enough then we get free throws." 

"Dude! What the fuck?" The short and stout guy asked as Saru made his way back over. "Do you want to give them easy points?"

"I underestimated how fast I can run," he replied tersely, pushing his glasses up.

"Don't fucking ruin this for us," he said, running off as the whistle blew.

Misaki picked up the ball and waited on the whistle to blow. Immediately, he sprinted to the two point line. He was up in the air in a matter of moments, moving as if to complete a jump shot but as he faded, he hit the ground again with the ball and spun quickly, ducking low to pass it to Shogo who was guarding on Fushimi.

Misaki checked over his shoulder before moving to throw. Of course, Saru was right on him as always. 

"Yata! Hurry and pass it!" Shogo shouted  
.   
"He's right on me!" Misaki shouted back but jumped up to throw the ball over Saruhiko. He smirked, staring straight into Saru's eyes.

Saruhiko meant to knock it away but missed instead. Shogo yelped and continued dribbling, trying to shoot a basket. The Tall One from earlier knocked the ball away; someone who hadn't spoken in the group grabbed it and dribbled off, moving along the court like the ball was an extension of himself. Saru glared at Misaki, jogging to the other side of the gym.

Misaki glared back Saruhiko, his golden eyes filled with the same murderous intent as when they fought for real. The fire was back in his heart for the time being as he darted quickly between other players. He weaved closer and as the ball sailed up, he jumped in an attempt to knock it away from Saruhiko, slamming into the taller male with his chest.

Saruhiko smiled at him as he collapsed to the floor, bringing Misaki down with him. The whistle blew loudly. "Yata! Don't knock into people! Foul!" He rolled onto his stomach and looked at Misaki. The tall one who tipped the ball was holding out his hand towards Saruhiko. The coach watched him grab it and stand. He pushed himself up by himself and caught the ball when someone passed it to him. "Thanks for the free-throw, Misaki!" he called out, dribbling to the line.

This was bullshit! They got a warning but his team didn’t!? Misaki was furious as he moved to guard near the free throw. He clenched his fists at his side and hoped with every fiber of his being that Saruhiko missed the throw. He lined up with his team, ready to steal the ball if Saru missed.

He dribbled the ball twice before shooting. It hit the rim, causing a gasp to rise from his team, before the ball fell to the ground. He felt eyes on him as he jogged to rejoin the action, guarding the short vanguard and mirroring his movements. He hoped he could make Misaki slip up, giving his team a chance to score again.

Growing slightly more annoyed, he kept waving his arms in front of Misaki. Someone shouted his name; he turned around and the ball hit his chest. When did his team get the ball? He was too busy guarding to tell. He dribbled for a few paces, or rather, tried to, before shoddily passing the ball to Short and Stocky.

Misaki had moved behind Saruhiko and pressed close, blocking him from being able to pass behind him. "Shit!" he cursed loudly as the ball was passed and he moved fluidly to stand in front of Saruhiko.   
"Dammit! Get the ball! Someone!" Time was running out and Saruhiko was getting more and more on his nerves. 

Finally, Misaki put distance between them and was immediately passed the ball by his team. He smirked softly, passing the ball hard, straight at Saru's stupid face.

He turned just in time for the ball to hit the side of his face. His glasses flew off and skidded across the floor before stopping. He fell to the floor, hitting his head rather hard and falling unconscious. He thought he heard a whistle blow before going completely under.

"Someone get the nurse!" The coach shouted. The class scrambled about and someone went to the nurse's office. Two of the larger guys would carry Saruhiko to the infirmary. Misaki, on the other hand, stayed behind to shower as class was ended early.

"Holy shit dude, you fucked him up! You really fucked him up!" the taller one said, grabbing Misaki’s freckled shoulders and leaning forward. His face was inches from the angry ginger as he continued to be shocked. His team wound up losing, something he blamed on the kid in glasses, despite the fact he felt they played better without him. "You're alright in our book!"

"Did you see him fall? And his glasses? Fuck, how did they not break?" the shorter one said, laughing. "You're pretty fucking cool. I'm Kaoru," the stocky one added, clapping his back. "He's Reiji."

Misaki leaned back a bit at Reiji being in his face. He laughed awkwardly and shrugged. "It's his fault for not watching where the ball was going," Misaki bragged, feeding into their compliments. He stumbled forward a bit when Koaru slapped him on the back. 

"Yata Misaki - but just call me Yata," he told them with a grin.

"Yataaaa!" they drew out, stripping off their shirts and throwing them in their respective lockers. "What're you doing this weekend? We should chill together-- just the three of us," Kaoru said.

"Wait, what about Shogo? He's cool too. Shogo!" Reiji shouted across the locker room. "Wanna hang this weekend?" He grabbed his towel and walked into the showers, not waiting for an answer.

Misaki laughed a little as he pulled off his own clothes and grabbed a towel. "I'm free this weekend if you wanna hang in my dorm. My roommate should be working."

"This weekend?" Shogo asked as his nude form stepped towards the shower. "No real plans, why?"

"We're hanging with Yata!" Kaoru shouted, entering the shower with a whoop. "This dude's fucking awesome, you don't even know Shogo. He fucking knocked a dude unconscious. Seriously," he continued, turning on the water and laughing. Of course, Shogo knew this but he just laughed softly at their excitement.  
"He fucking had it coming, prick. What a dick," Reiji said.

"I see," Shogo nodded a bit and grinned. He slapped Misaki on the back and walked past him, "I hope we get put on the same team again! I look forward to hanging out." 

Misaki grinned and stepped under his own faucet and turned the water on. "Thanks!" He felt happy to be belonging with people but somehow it felt wrong hearing the things being said about Saruhiko. But he pushed aside those feelings. That asshole Blue didn’t deserve his sympathy.

Saruhiko was only unconscious for about 5 minutes. After being checked over by the nurse, she allowed him to leave. Head still pounding, Saru walked into the locker room. He only wanted to get his stuff; no need to shower in the locker rooms when he had a perfectly fine personal shower in his room. He rubbed his temple with one hand, the other spinning his combination. He could hear someone shout across the way, "What a cocksucker!" He clicked his tongue and flinched. Really, was it necessary to yell?

Misaki concentrated on washing up quickly. His laugh could be heard after the comment was made- it wasn't exactly a genuine laugh but he wasn't stopping the others either.

Recognizing that warble, Saruhiko shut the door and spun the lock again. Back in his regular clothes, he started towards the door to the hallway before noticing it was blocked by a "wet floor" sign. Shit. He turned around and stalked towards the only other door, bumping into Misaki as he walked the other way. Clicking his tongue, he barreled on and finally made it out, where he walked back to the dorm.

 

Misaki had been getting dressed when Saruhiko bumped into him. "Watch it, jackass!" Misaki shouted but he was ignored. He wondered what the hell Saru's problem was this time.

"The fuck's his problem," Kaoru muttered, pulling his hoodie over his head. 

"He gay?" Reiji asked, putting his sneakers on.

Kaoru shrugged. "I dunno, did you see the way he was all over Yata during the game? Dude's probably gay," he said. "Why?" Kaoru asked. "Wanna fuck him Reiji? Huh? Knock his glasses across the room?"

Misaki felt slightly uncomfortable by this turn of conversation. Shogo placed a hand on his thin shoulder and stared at the other two. "Now, now you two. I’ve warned you about talking like that, you might end up making someone upset or worse-- what if you fall for a guy?" His tone was firm but mocking. He knew that wouldn't happen, they all did.

"If they get upset they can suck my dick," Kaoru said. He and Reiji were clothed and making their way to the door.   
"See you guys sometime this weekend-- get Yata's number and text it to us, Shogo!" Kaoru called out as the door slammed behind him.

"I'm sorry for their rudeness Yata, they really aren't bad guys," Shogo apologized. 

Misaki shook his head, "No problem." He wrote his number down for Shogo and then left, deciding he would go pay a visit to HOMRA and tell them all how he was doing.

Saruhiko was in the room, getting ready to leave for the weekend. He pulled on his second boot, clad in his uniform. Standing up, he grabbed his PDA and alerted Lieutenant Awashima that he was on his way. He grabbed a canned coffee, popped two more headache pills and guzzled it down. He the empty can in the almost overflowing trash can and left the room, turning off the lights as he did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is late. A lot has been happening. The next few chapters are written but just need final editing and I will queue them up.

Misaki had returned early from HOMRA on Saturday morning. When was the last time he had plans with friends his own age? Sure there was Kamamoto but they had known each other since preschool. 

Misaki bustled about the apartment dusting, putting up clean clothes, and making sure there was a decent amount of snacks. He even pulled out the small table and sat it in the middle of the room. Until now, there had been no reason to use it as he and Saruhiko never ate together...not to mention they had both tripped over it multiple times in the first two days it was out. Deciding that the dorm was presentable enough, Misaki sat on one of the cushions around the table and waited on his new friends to show up, fiddling with his PSP as he did so.

Three hard knocks on the door signaled their arrival. "Yo, Yata, open up!" Reiji bellowed.

"Shut up," Kaoru said. "We're in a hallway for fuck's sake."

"Yaaaataaaa," he continued, knocking, making the door shake. "Shogo, what the fuck are you doing?"

"You're being a prick," Koaru said, teeth obviously gritted.

Shogo was a few feet back and have the other two a wry grin. "Well, I was going to let Yata know we were here but...clearly he knows now." 

Misaki was up in a flash and on his feet. He walked quickly to the door and threw it open. "Hey guys! What's up?"

Reiji and Kaoru barged their way into the apartment. “We want you to go to a party with us tonight! It’ll be great!”

"What? A party...I..." Misaki rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn't been to such a thing, being that he had done high school from home. 

"You'll have fun, I promise," Shogo assured. Misaki grinned and threw his hands up, "Sure!!"

"Yes!" Kaoru bellowed. He walked over to the table and sat down. "What're you doing? Nerd shit?" he asked as he picked up his PSP. "The hell is this?" 

Reiji sat down and dug into the snacks. "Trust me Yata, you're gonna have fun. Those babes… woo," he said, shaking his head. "Fuckin' hot. Even a shrimp like you could land one."

"I'm not a shrimp!" Misaki protested with a nervous laugh. He couldn't talk to girls - not a chance!! Shogo laughed and took the PSP from Kaoru, "Now, now, you shouldn't mess with Yata's things without permission. And you have a huge game collection so don’t tease him."

"What's the matter Shogo? Gay for Yata?" Reiji asked. Kaoru took the snacks from him. 

"No but clearly you are. Heard your girlfriend dumped you again," Shogo countered, shoving Reiji lightly. 

The door opened and Saruhiko walked in, still in his uniform. He stopped in the doorway and glared at the guests. Clicking his tongue, he removed his jacket and went to hang it up.

Kaoru stared at Misaki, incredulous. "You room with that asshole?" he asked, eyes wide. Saru glared at Kaoru as he took clothes from his drawer. Wordlessly, he went into the bathroom to change.

Misaki jumped slightly when Saruhiko came in; he really hadn't been expecting him back do soon. "Yeah...That's my roommate," Misaki said as if it was the most boring thing in the world.   
"We should get out of their hair and let Yata get ready for the party," Shogo told the other two. He seemed to be the least obnoxious of the three of them.

Saru came out of the bathroom. "Misaki," he began, expression showing boredom but eyes alight, "When will Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum be leaving?" He tossed his clothes in the hamper and walked to his desk.  
Kaoru's fists clenched. "Listen dick, I can kick your ass seven different ways to Sunday, don't fucking mess with me," he threatened, walking over to Saru and squaring up.

Misaki opened his mouth to tell Saruhiko to be nice and not to call him by his first name but it was too late. Kaoru was already raring to confront Saruhiko. 

"Please not in my room," he said after a moment.

Reiji looked at Misaki, dumbfounded. "He treated you like shit and you're telling him not to fight? The fuck?"

Kaoru backed down. "Whatever man. I'll remember this," he said, walking to the table. Saru sat at his desk.

 

"He's always like this. I can handle it," Misaki assured them with a boastful look on his face. Anything to diffuse this situation...If he let something happen then he's be in trouble big time with Kusanagi.

"You gonna get ready or do you wanna chill?" Kaoru asked, grabbing a handful of chips.

"I'll get ready and meet up with you guys at 9?" Misaki inquired and Shogo nodded a bit. "We'll see you then."

Shogo was the first to leave the room. The other two left the room, closing the door rather roughly. Saru glared as they left, lip curled. He didn't like them, at all. Exhaling through his nose, he opened his netbook and booted it up. Checking his syllabus, he started on an essay, silent.

Misaki refused to apologize for the way they had acted but he did feel bad about gym class. Awkwardly, the ginger rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey...is your head ok?" he asked from across the room. He wondered what he should wear to something like this...

"Mildly concussed, thanks for asking," Saru replied, opening his notebook and peering at the notes. Stupid professor wanted citations. Shouldn't he know what was right and what wasn't? He had a degree in this subject, for goodness sake. "It's a damn miracle my glasses didn't break."

Misaki began undressing after a moment. "Ah...Well, I'm glad they didn't." Misaki pulled a pair of ripped jeans up his bare legs and settled on a white t-shirt. "Not that you couldn't just buy new ones. You Blues get paid a fortune."

"I would rather not have had to pay for new glasses," he replied. "Especially over something like a ball to the face," he muttered beneath his breath. "Idiot." 

"I'm not an idiot. You are," Misaki argued grumpily. He flopped down on his bed and began pulling on his socks and a pair of shoes.

Saruhiko glanced over at Misaki before returning to his work. "Are you going to be back early tonight?" he asked.

"Nope. I checked in earlier with everyone. For tonight, I was invited to a party," Misaki replied smugly.

Saru snorted and looked over. "You? At a party? You can't even talk to girls," he said. "What are you going to do? Fight people for money?" he asked, chuckling smugly. "Might want to get a basketball from the gym. It's the only way you could beat anyone."

"You're just mad 'cause you weren't invited! You don't always have to go parading around with your nose in the air, Saru! And just because I get noticed and you don't- you're mad! It's pathetic!" Misaki spat angrily. He was getting really fed up with Saruhiko's attitude. "Shoulda just let him knock you out," he muttered under his breath.

Saru hissed in annoyance and turned his attention back to his work. "Don't expect me to come rescue you when you get knocked on your ass," he said bluntly. Stomach rolling, he refused to look at Misaki. Pathetic? Really?

"I wouldn't bother asking you too!" Misaki snapped back. He got to his feet and headed for the door. He shot one last glare at Saruhiko before walking out and slamming the door as hard as possible.

The blue-eyed male sighed and pushed his glasses up, pinching the skin between his eyes. Could he not slam doors? He resumed typing, head beginning to pound. He took two pain pills, washing them down with a sip of coffee.

Misaki scowled once he was outside. He had forgotten his skateboard. Thankfully, the party wasn't too far away so walking wouldn't kill him. Skateboarding would have just been faster than the ten minutes on foot to get where he needed to be. He hoped he wasn't under dressed but it was just a college party so...he didn't expect anything fancy, thankfully.

The party was starting as the sun was setting. Kaoru and Reiji were already inside, pouring glasses of drinks and spiking what was in the open with a flask of vodka. They were snickering, cheeks flushed and looking for Yata and his flaming hair. Shogo was standing to the side.

Misaki walked in and looked around. There were...so many girls in so little clothing. He felt his heart begin to pound. 

"Yata!!" Shogo shouted over the crowd, spotting the short male. "Over here!!" Instantly, tension eased from Misaki's shoulders.

"Yata!" Kaoru shouted, shoving a cup of something into his hands. "Try this-- I made it myself."

"Come on," Reiji agreed, taking the last swig from his own cup. "This is the best batch yet," he said, tapping his empty cup against Kaoru's chest.

"Drink! Drink!" he goaded, attracting the attention of people nearby. They began chanting too, the volume growing steadily.

Honestly, the noise was overwhelming. The only time Misaki had drank was when Kusanagi made him a drink on his 20th birthday. Feeling the pressure of the crowd, he gulped down the contents of the cup. It burned on the way down and made him shudder from the bitter aftertaste. It wasn't terrible but it didn't taste great. 

The crowd cheered and his cup was grabbed and replaced. It was thrown off somewhere. Kaoru clapped him on the shoulder. "Way to gooooooo Yata!" he shouted, guiding him into the living room. "Now," he said, "We scope out the chicks." Reiji looked around and let out a low whistle.

Misaki reluctantly followed as he held the new cup to his chest. He wasn't about to admit that he couldn't talk to women to save his life. Instead, he just stuck close and looked around.

"Yata, hold my drink," Kaoru said as he went over to talk to a girl. Reiji set his on the table and followed, talking to the girl sitting next to her. He moved closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She smiled and flipped her hair, scooting away. Kaoru smiled and walked away, turning to wink at her.  
"Fucking bitch," he said, taking his drink and chugging.

Misaki was stuck holding the two drinks and watching the scene play out. It was odd and when Kaouru spoke next, he felt a bit of anger. Maybe it was the addition of the alcohol in his blood but he couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Don't talk about a woman that way," he said firmly.

"What? She was! Wouldn't talk to me or give me her number. Man." Kaoru sighed, shaking his head and sipping his drink. She stood up and her friend followed. Reiji returned, waggling his eyebrows. "I got her number!" he bragged, holding his drink and sipping. "That's how you do it. Talk the bitch up. Make her feel special. Compliment her body," he continued.

"But did you actually mean any of it?" Misaki asked after taking another gulp from his cup. He was somehow sure that the compliments had been shallow and meaningless. Personally, Misaki noted that she was cute. She wasn’t tall or short and she wasn’t exactly skinny either. 

"Pff, some of it. Not all of it," he said. "What do you take me for? A sucker?"

"Think you can do better?" Kaoru asked, eyebrow quirked. "I bet you can't." His eyes narrowed as he stared Yata down.

Misaki chewed his lip and his eyes flared a bit. "No… I mean...Yes, of course I can!" Misaki was feeling more than a little buzzed and this was making his fiery attitude worse. He looked around the room, trying to find a girl he could potentially talk to.

"That one,” Reiji said. "With the glasses. In the corner," he whispered. The girl in question flipped her hair and stared around the room. "She's alone. It'll be easier. Think of this as a lesson in Chicks 101," Reiji continued on.  
"No cheating!" Kaoru exclaimed, punching Reiji's arm.

"Yea...haha, got it." Misaki sat his drink down and crossed the room. As soon as he was faced with the girl he froze. He laughed awkwardly, "H-h-hey...What's...up?"

She looked at him and smiled. "Nothing much! What's up with you?" she asked, eyes wide and lips turned up in a friendly smile.

"Nothing! Just...y'know...." Misaki shifted awkwardly. He kept his hands in his pockets.

She tilted her head, dark hair spilling across her face. "Uh... do I know you?"

"I don't think we've met before...I mean, maybe...Ah! We have uhm...English Literature together..." Misaki managed. 

"Oh yeah!" she said, smile growing bigger. "Same major too, right? Developmental psychology?"

"Right! We do!" Misaki nodded vigorously.

She moved away from the wall and leaned closer. "Say, do you have the notes from the lecture?"

At the mention of notes he rubbed the back if his neck. "Y-yea but not like...with me...I..c-can give them to you tomorrow?" Misaki's voice cracked a bit and he felt like he might die.

"I don't understand it at all," she sighed, leaning even closer. "Could you tutor me? It's so hard finding a tutor, let alone one in the same major." She smiled at him, eyes sparkling. "Let alone one so adorable too!" she cooed.

"A-adorable? You think so? Me?" Misaki blushed deeply and looked around. "I'll uhhhm...sure...I can try to tutor you..." he agreed at last after what seemed like an hour long freak out.

"Great! We can setup times in class," she said, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. She sauntered off, waving her fingers goodbye. Kaoru and Reiji stood, mouths agape. Reiji dropped his drink.

Misaki blinked about a million times before jumping into the air with excitement. He had talked to a girl!! He rushed back over to the other guys and grinned triumphantly. "How's that you guys?" He asked with a huge grin.

"How the fuck did you manage that?" Kaoru asked.

"Really though," Reiji said, walking towards the kitchen. "This calls for a toast!" he exclaimed, grabbing two drinks and handing them to his friends before grabbing one for himself "To Yata! He isn't a pussy like his roommate and is gonna score this week," he finished proudly. Reiji took a swig, smiling at him.

Misaki laughed a bit." Come on guys...I just agreed to tutor her," Misaki said insistently. He gulped down the alcohol and felt a bit dizzy but not enough to not stay upright. He felt a bit strange again, hearing Saruhiko insulted. Maybe it was because only he could make fun of Saruhiko.

"What's his deal anyway?" Reiji asked. Kaoru snorted, pouring vodka into his drink and sipping.

"Isn't it obvious? Daddy issues," Kaoru said, rolling his eyes. "That's probably who's paying for his college too. He stinks of rich people. Arrogant bastard."

Misaki tensed at the mention of Saruhiko's father. That disgusting bastard... "Hey," Misaki's voice was low with anger, "Don't you fucking dare mention that guy's dad!" Misaki charged at Kaoru and gripped his collar with both hand, lifting him a bit. "Saruhiko may be an arrogant piece of shit but you don't know what he's been through!"

Kaoru grabbed him in turn, nose to nose. "What the hell is your problem?! You're always defending that prick!" Reiji stood to the side, lip curling. Kaoru shook Yata a bit. "Why are you so defensive about him?!"

"I'm not defensive about anyone unless I need to be! And if anyone is a goddamn prick it's the guy who is talking about someone's abusive parent!" Misaki shouted back. He could feel the flame in his body flaring up but he had to remind himself that his power, given to him by Mikoto and fueled by Anna, would be wasted on jerks like this. "That damn monkey is pathetic but at least he's not that low!!"

Kaoru reeled his fist back and swung, coming into contact with the side of Misaki’s face. Misaki felt his lip collide with his teeth and cursed himself for drinking. His reflexes were usually so much faster than that. 

He watched as the ginger fell, standing over him and looking down. He kicked his stomach hard. "Fucking. Fight. Me."

He coughed hard being kicked in the stomach and reached up, grabbing the leg in both hands and twisting hard enough to bring Kaoru to the ground. 

People were stepping back and some were shouting at them to stop.

Kaoru shouted and moved to sit on him. With alternating fists that only sometimes made contact, he tried to punch Yata more. He was shouting obscenities at the other, calling everything about him into question.

Misaki shifted his head a bit and dodged a few of the punches. A few came in contact with his nose or eye but he just ignored the pain that exploded forth. Compared to losing those he cared about, physical pain was nothing. 

"That's enough, Kaoru!" Shogo grabbed the man under his arms and pulled him up in one swift movement. "You're both drunk. Both of you go home, now,” Shogo’s voice dipped into a dangerous tone. 

Kaoru glared at Yata, knuckles bruised and bleeding in places. He sighed and stumbled away. Reiji looked back and shook his head before walking away as well.

Shogo tried helping Misaki to his feet but his hand was batted away. Misaki got up shakily and headed outside. He hurt more than he had honestly calculated and moving was a bit difficult. He made it to the top step outside before sitting down, spitting a glob of blood from his mouth. He debated calling someone but...HOMRA would just burn the place up. Begrudgingly, he sighed and called Saruhiko.

Saruhiko’s phone buzzed; he was still at his desk, cans of coffee around him. Sighing, he picked up the phone, not bothering with looking at the caller ID. "Fushimi," he said, cradling it between his ear and shoulder, resuming typing.

Misaki was filled with panic upon hearing the other's gruff voice. What could he say? How did he ask for help?

"Fushimi," he repeated, when there was silence.

After a good 30 seconds, Misaki spoke. " 'm at...the South dormsh...can you come get me?" Man...his speech was slurred...was it the bloodied lip or the alcohol, he wondered. "Yer...the only one...I can ask…"

Soon, there was a voice. Oh god. Was Misaki drunk? He thought for a moment about asking if he really was the only person Misaki could call. The redhead didn't like interacting with him... that was proof enough. He sighed. "I'll come get you. Stay put." He hung up without a word and stood up. Not how he imagined his night at all. He grabbed a zip-up hoodie, his keys, and walked out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter. It was originally part of the last chapter but it felt more appropriate to split it up...

Misaki hugged his knees to his chest. His eyes stung like he needed to cry but he didn't want to show anymore weakness. If he was allowed to-- he would’ve burned those guys up without a second thought but... He just wanted to fit in, to have friends here so he didn't miss home so much. But he couldn't forgive them for saying those things...and disrespecting women but moreso...for saying what they had! Fushimi was an ass but his father had been – psychologically tormenting Saru until the day he died. No one deserved that. 

While walking, Saruhiko idly wondered what mess Misaki could have gotten himself in. He was drunk... who the hell talked Misaki into drinking? Maybe those Neanderthals from earlier. Probably. He turned the corner and continued walking. The buses weren't running. He didn't have a car. What was the point in owning one?  
He heard the music before he saw the house. Gross. Across the lawn were beer cans, destroyed cups, and the occasional person lying on their back. He wasn't sure if they were passed out or looking at the stars. Sitting on the steps was a small form curled in on himself. He recognized the mop of ginger hair and stopped in front of him. "Well, well," he began, looking down.

Misaki flinched at the sound of Saruhiko's voice. "Whatever yer gon' say...I don' wanna hear it," Misaki slurred. He slowly lifted his head to reveal a bruising eye and a bloodied lip. "Jus' wanna go home," he muttered, getting to his feet shakily.

Saru's eyes widened. A fight? Well... it wasn't unlikely. Didn't his friends try and stop him?

"How'd you get into a fight?" he asked, watching him. He didn't seem too steady. But Saru wasn't so sure about helping him. Would he object? He settled for walking alongside Misaki, debating if he should call a taxi...

"It was just something' stupid," Misaki lied. Well, in retrospect, it was probably stupid to everyone else. Hell! It was even stupid to Misaki himself that he got so worked up over something like that. He walked slowly beside Saruhiko, swaying a bit but determined to keep going.

He stopped, grabbing Misaki's sleeve and pulling out his phone. "We're not walking home," he stated, dialing a taxi service and dragging him to the grass. He pushed him gently, easing him into a sitting position. "What did you really fight about?"

"It's not that far of a walk," Misaki protested, stumbling toward the grass. He grumbled a bit as he was pushed to sit down. He avoided making eye contact with Saruhiko. "It was...somethin’ got brought up that shouldn't have...that's all..."

"So someone brought up Homra and you let your stupid pride get in the way again," he finished, standing and keeping an eye out for the taxi. He was quoted five minutes. Reaching up, his fingers dug at his collarbone. He wasn't aware he was doing it until a moment later. He let his hand fall to his side.

Misaki wasn't going to argue. If that's what Saruhiko wanted to think...so be it. Anything was better than him knowing the truth. "Yea...Something like that," Misaki responded. He watched Saruhiko dig at his collarbone for a moment before words spilled from his mouth, "Do you hate it...that much?"

Saruhiko didn't reply. And Misaki didn't deserve to know. The cab turned the corner and he walked to the curb and flagged it down. Opening the door, he scooted inside and looked at Misaki. "Get in."

Misaki stared inside as if debating whether or not he should. He had pride but...his stomach and head really hurt. And he was so tired....Grumbling, he climbed in and tried to stay awake.

He told the driver where their dorm was and leaned back. The ride was smooth, and fortunately, not that long. He really didn't want him vomiting in the cab... fortunately, he didn't. The cab stopped and Saru tossed a few bills at the driver. He got out and held the cab door open for him. Closing it behind him, he walked towards their doors, getting his keycard out.

Misaki climbed out on shaky legs and followed Saruhiko carefully. As soon as the door was open, he made a beeline for his bed, flopping face first onto it and not bothering to care for his bruises.

Fushimi sighed as he set his keys on the desk. "You should probably ice that," he said, going to the mini fridge. He opened it and took out a bottle of water. He dropped it on his bed and sat at his desk. He checked the clock. Midnight.

Misaki rolled over and took the bottle, holding it to his eye. It was probably a lost cause by now and he's be looking like this all week. Thankfully it was Sunday... "Thanks, Monkey..." Misaki murmured. He waited a few more minutes before sitting up and fighting off his shoes and stripping off his shirt. Misaki was resilient but he was still underweight and this meant there was already a large bruise forming on his abdomen.

 

Misaki rubbed the back of his neck and yawned. Lazily, he scooped his pajama shirt from the end if his bed and pulled it on. Kicking off his pants, he laid on the bed and closed his eyes. In minutes, he was snoring softly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness. I'm so sorry...Life has been kicking my ass and I've gotten behind on a lot of stuff. Anyway...this chapter is kind of slow as things become more clear and the two decide they need to be civil to each other to survive. Thanks for reading!

Misaki groaned softly, every inch of his body hurt it seemed. Okay, maybe that was an overreaction but he was in quite a bit of pain. His skull was pounding so hard he felt like his eyes might bust out of his head. "Oh god...what happened?" He groaned softly and sat up. The room slowly came into focus. He recalled getting into a fight and after that...he wasn't sure. How had he even gotten home? Even more confusing...there was a first aid kit beside his bed as well as water and Tylenol. Gratefully, he gulped the pain pills down with the water.

"You got into a fight," Saruhiko began, looking at his PDA, leg dangling off the bed. "You called me, and I brought you back." After that, he worked on a paper for class and work, crawling into bed at 4 and waking up at 8. Saruhiko checked the time. 11.

Misaki laughed hysterically. "I did what? No way...why the fuck would I call you?" The ginger asked. He ran a hand through his hair, laughing harder, nervously.

"'You're the only one I can ask' is about what you said," Saru replied. "I was more shocked you were able to figure out how to operate a phone. You were pretty drunk," he added. He looked over, narrowing his blue eyes. "Check your call history if you don't believe me."

Misaki felt like screaming. There was no way he would say something like that! No way at all. He growled in response and opened his call history. He could pretend that he didn't see it but instead, he just stared at the small screen that popped up in front of him.

"See? Now quit your yelling and shower. You're disgusting," Saru told him, swinging his legs over the bed and getting up. He stretched and walked over to the mini fridge.

Misaki stared at the things near his nightstand. "Saruhiko...I hate being here. And I hate your attitude but...you could be a bit nicer to me. In turn, I can be nicer to you." 

The expression Saruhiko gave him was vacant. "Could you really be nice to me?" he asked, tone mildly condescending. He had a hard time believing it. How could they just... go back? And if Misaki had that chip on his shoulder, he really wouldn't be able to be nice.

Misaki was bouncing his leg out of nervousness. "Look, I'm not saying we have to be pals or anything...I'm saying we just need to...I dunno...be civil," Misaki explained. He felt odd...Saruhiko was the smart one so why couldn't he 'get it?'

Civil... "You can't be civil to me," Saruhiko replied after a moment, "Mission impossible. Automatic failure." Being civil at least would make life easier. It'd sort of be like having his Misaki back... but it couldn't work.

"Ugggghhh!" Misaki ran both hands through his hair in frustration. "You're being impossible!" He just needed Saruhiko's cooperation somehow. Suddenly he had an idea and he rolled his eyes. So that was it? Stupid... "S-sorry for being a pain last night...and th-thanks," he mumbled stubbornly, the tips of his ears red.

Apology? And thanks? Blue eyes studied Misaki harshly. Poor baby Misaki’s ears were turning red. He frowned and turned away. "I can try if you can try," he said at last. 

"I'll do my best....We can start by fixing your diet...I'll cook after I shower," Misaki told him firmly. He grabbed his towel and clean clothes and scuffled slowly towards the bathroom in pain.

Cook? Saruhiko’s stomach growled. The past few days consisted of more supplements and coffee...when was the last time he had eaten a decent meal? He walked to his dresser and pulled clean clothes out. He was almost out of them and made a mental note to do laundry sometime later.

Misaki took his time in the shower, not because it was relaxing but because movement hurt. When he finally returned, his hair was still dripping a bit. "What do you want to eat? I'll cook you almost anything but if we don't have it then you have to go buy it." Misaki was already acting brighter than before.

"I don't care, so as long as it doesn't have vegetables" he replied, nose buried in his PDA. He looked up and saw the smaller male standing at the small counter. Stomach flipping, he looked down again. He warned himself that things could change again. And it would; college was temporary.

 

Misaki was drying his hair. "Would you like hamburger steaks?" He asked after a moment. He knew it was something they couldn't disagree on. He could make vegetables on the side and Saru didn't have to eat them.

"Sure," he said, sitting at the small table still set out. The half-eaten snacks were there from the day before. He hesitated before taking them off of the table. "Do you remember what happened with those idiots?"

"Hmmm...Yea. I do, why?" Misaki looked over his shoulder as he began to take out a tiny pound of meat and some vegetables. "Is there a reason you ask?"

"Just wondering," he said. He didn't trust them. Did they play a part in his current state? "Were they the ones you fought with?"

Misaki went quiet, eerily so. He wasn't sure how to answer that. He was sure Saru would just throw it back in his face, tell him he was a shitty friend and that was why they had fought him.   
And he was...why did the HOMRA guys even like him? He shook his head, concentrating instead on separating the meat into patties.

Saruhiko Fushimi didn't need an answer. He knew. He clicked his tongue and looked down again. He watched Misaki cooking and reminded himself this wouldn’t last. College wouldn't be forever.

Misaki's silhouette had grown a bit taller but also thinner. He still wore the same cooking apron as he always had. He chopped some vegetables in hopes of sneaking them into the food. Saruhiko was far too picky. "I know...I'm a shitty friend but what they were saying...Well some people are more important in your life than others," he said in a surprisingly mature way.

"You trust too easily" Saruhiko murmured. "Homra is important to you; guard what's important to you," he finished, looking at the back of Misaki’s head. He refrained from commenting on his self-depreciation concerning friendship. He wasn't looking at it objectively. Misaki was loyal -- that counted for a lot.

"Mmm..." Misaki nodded a bit as he quickly diced some carrots. Had he really stood up for something important to him? HOMRA, huh? So Saruhiko didn't know the truth...Good. He'd rather keep it that way.

Saruhiko walked over to the mini fridge and took out another can of coffee. He opened it and took a swig, walking back over. The PSP was on the floor. He picked it up, turning it over. Misaki still had this?

"You really shouldn't drink that much caffeine," Misaki called over his shoulder. He put the patties in the pan to cook them. He turned and looked to see what Saruhiko was doing, "Man...we stood in line for so long to get that!"

"My diet is fine," he replied, taking another sip. "We did. How long?" he asked, setting it down and looking at him. Misaki had grown taller...slightly. Nothing to make Saruhiko think Misaki would be as tall as himself, but he wasn't such a shrimp anymore.

Misaki leaned against the counter as the burgers cooked slowly on one side. "Hmmn...I think it was 3 or 4 hours," Misaki recalled. Misaki had to beg and plead with his mom to give him extra allowance each month so that he could help pay for it.

Saruhiko nodded, remembering as well. "Yeah..." he muttered. “It was your pride and joy." He gently set it down and leaned on the table. How long ago was that? It seemed like a century. So much had changed since then.

"Yea..." Misaki laughed a bit. He didn't have anyone to play all those two player games with so he didn't play often. He flipped the burgers and began making the sauce. 

Silence filled the room again. Seeing it wouldn't be done for a while, the black haired male sighed and propped his head on his hand, sipping his drink slowly. Misaki moved about the tiny kitchen, cutting fruits and vegetables and ignoring the pain in his stomach which was only made worse by hunger. He arranged the fruit on a saucer before Saruhiko. "Since I know you won't eat vegetables. And there's no pears." Misaki was mean but he wasn't a liar.

Saruhiko nodded and murmured a thanks before taking one and nibbling from it, sitting it back down. He picked up another and nibbled from it. Offering the plate, he looked up at the redhead. "Want one?"

"Nah. I have some in the kitchen. Thanks anyway," Misaki told him. He seemed rather kind about it as he sauntered off. Really, he wanted to make sure Saru got enough vitamins and minerals.

The younger sighed and stared down the fruit. He wanted to try, he really did, but fruit was pushing it. He tried one more nibble before pushing the plate away. He huffed and took a long sip of coffee. 

Misaki wanted to scold Saru but he knew it would be useless. In a few more minutes, he approached with two plates and sat them on the table with forks. As soon as he sat down he groaned. "Man! I left my water..."

Saruhiko got up and grabbed two from the fridge. He put one in front of Misaki’s plate as he sat down. Sipping from his coffee, he started to cut the meat on his plate, stomach growling audibly.

Misaki muttered a thanks as he began to cut up his meat as well. His own plate held carrots and broccoli which he cut up as well, mixing it with the sauce and meat.

Saruhiko took a bite, chewing slowly and swallowing. He didn't say anything as he ate. He took a final sip of coffee, pushing the can away.

Misaki kept quiet as well. He didn't pester Saru about whether or not the food was good. He just assumed that because the other was eating that it was good enough. He felt triumphant for sneaking in the onions.

Saruhiko had one bite left when he noticed a chunk of onion hanging out. He looked up at Misaki and stared intensely. He sighed, "Misaki."

The corner of Misaki's mouth pulled up into a smirk. "Oops...I must not have chopped that one up enough." He smiled mischievously, gold eyes sparkling.

He picked it out and smashed the bite. Examining the rest, he picked out the remaining onion bits and gathered the meat on his fork. He finished it and pushed his plate away. "I'm full," he deadpanned.

"You're impossible," Misaki grumbled softly. He gathered the dishes and headed for the sink. "I have to run to the store...need anything?"

"More coffee and CalorieMates," he replied, wiping his mouth and standing. Grabbing his towel, he started to the bathroom. "I'm going to shower," he said, hesitating a moment at the door.

"You need to start eating real food!" Misaki scolded loudly. He grabbed his wallet and a backpack to carry things back home. "And lay off the caffeine!!"

Saruhiko regretted hesitating to enter the bathroom. He clicked his tongue and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The food swirled in his stomach; nausea bubbled up his throat and he leaned against the door. Shit. He swallowed and stripped. Hopping in the shower, he turned it on and waited for it to warm up. Saruhiko groaned, doubling over and clenching his fists. He shakily grabbed his shampoo and started washing up.

Misaki headed for the store. He was deep in thought about what they needed and what could be stored in the mini fridge - some meat, some drinks, and a few fruits and vegetables. He walked to the store, still in a bit of pain. He was thankful it was nearby as he headed inside. He shopped around for a bit before coming home with some meat, vegetables, jarred fruit, and adult vitamins. Misaki ignored the nausea in his own stomach; he still hadn’t fully adjusted to eating properly.

Saru was towel-drying his hair when he heard the door open and close. He brought the towel back out with him, clothed, to throw it in the bin. He swallowed and looked over at Misaki. His nausea hadn't subsided.

Misaki studied Saruhiko for a moment, thin brows knitted in thought. "Fushimi...Are you feeling okay?" he asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. Not that he cared...

He didn't say anything for a moment. "I'm fine," he lied, looking away. "Did you get my things?" He inquired, walking over to the bags and peeking in. A scowl appeared immediately on his pale features.

"No. I got real food," Misaki countered. He glared softly at Saruhiko. "I did get you some vitamins, however. And I can pick up some coffee and bottled water tomorrow. But you really should watch the caffeine."

"I'm perfectly fine," the bluenett countered, digging in the bags for the vitamins. He looked over them. "Why did you get vitamins?" he asked, setting them on the counter and looking at the red clan’s vanguard.

Misaki chewed the corner of his lip and rubbed the back of neck as he did when he was either embarrassed or trying to ease his frustration. "Simple - so you don't die from malnutrition. They may be adult strength but you should still try to eat properly once in a while," Misaki scolded.

Saruhiko clicked his tongue and opened it. He took out two and swallowed them dry with some difficulty. He grabbed a glass, filled it with water and guzzled the contents down.

Misaki watched him and shook his head. Saruhiko was such a pain to deal with...And he was the childish one? With an annoyed sigh, he began putting the groceries away. "I need to go do laundry...You should do the same."

He probably should. Saruhiko thought back to when he was getting clothes out to change into, how little he had left. But he still had some clothes at least. "I can do that later this week," he said. He sat on his bed and leaned back, taking deep breaths. After a few moments he felt better. His stomach quit rolling; he was able to scoot back and lean up, pulling out his PDA and rapidly typing.

"Suit yourself," Misaki shrugged and gathered up his clothes. He threw them in his own hamper and flopped back on his bed. There was nothing to do on a Sunday.

Misaki shifted uncomfortably. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, he groaned loudly. "I'm so bored!" he practically shouted. He needed something to do -- sitting still was near impossible for him.

"Do something," Saruhiko chided, glancing to the side. Homework, video games--didn't he mention he had laundry to do? "Just quiet down."

Misaki sat up and went to his desk. He pulled out a math textbook and began looking it over, grumbling softly as he struggled to understand any of it.

Swinging his legs over the bed, Saruhiko stood up and walked to his desk, looking in the drawer for his spare charger. He sighed as he continued, unable to find it. Wait-- he opened his bag and took it out. He walked back to his bed and sat down. "Problem?" he asked.

"No," Misaki replied through gritted teeth. What the hell was a cosine anyway and why did he need it? Letters did not equal numbers, dammit! Misaki was chewing furiously on his thumbnail before slamming the pencil down and tugging at his chestnut colored hair.

Saruhiko stood and walked over, face puzzled. He leaned down and looked at the paper for a moment. "The solution is seven squared," he stated, leaning up again.

Misaki groaned and glared up at Saruhiko. He then stared down at where he was working out the problem. "How did you get that?"

"How did you not?" he asked, looking down at him. "It's so simple." Really, though. He looked back down at Misaki’s work. Oh. Stupid Misaki. He clicked his tongue and walked away without any further explanation.

Misaki growled in annoyance but was too preoccupied with trying to solve the problem to fight. After another 20 minutes of grumbling, he gave up and grabbed his laptop to review his notes from Developmental Psychology.

Saru rubbed his temples. He really needed more coffee... he slid his shoes on and started towards the door, grabbing his keys and wallet as he went. "Going out," he called over his shoulder.

"Mhm..." Misaki responded without a care. He was absorbed in whatever he was reading. It was a lot more effort than he used to put into studying. He didn't notice Saru leaving at all.

The other walked out the front doors and stopped. Where was the cafe? He started walking in one direction and hoped for the best. He stopped and peered inside a door. There were various places for food... he went inside and looked at the menus posted above. Finding what he wanted, he ordered one to go and started back.

Misaki had grown bored with sitting around. After some time, he stood and stretched, locked his computer, and began gathering his and Saruhiko's laundry into separate hampers. He supposed he could do something nice for the asshole monkey.

The aforementioned walked back inside, taking a sip from his cup and setting his keys down. He exhaled slowly, sliding his shoes off. He walked to his desk and sat in his chair, looking at Misaki curiously.

Misaki had placed both laundry bags by the door. He was walking over with laundry soap when Saruhiko came in. "Ahh...I'm going to do the laundry."

"I said I'd do it later this week," he replied. He took a sip and looked at him. "You don't have to do my laundry." His tone was tense.

"I'm going down anyway. It's not like I'm doing this for you or to be nice. I'm just doing it to get it done and make sure the dorm doesn't start stinking," Misaki informed him in a rather scolding tone.

"The dorm is fine," he retorted. "I can do it myself." He stood and started over, reaching for the bag. "You don't have to play housewife again, Misaki."

Misaki seemed to freeze at the word 'again.' So that's how it was...He was already pretending so hard that he had fallen into an old routine. It was exactly as he had feared. "Don’t call me than and I am not," Misaki spoke up at last. "But you have work this weekend so it’s fine...Or is there something you're trying to hide?" Misaki sneered a bit.

Zero points. The silence told something, though. "I don't have anything to hide," he replied. He took the bag from the older male. "I just-- can do my laundry myself," he said, setting it down. "You don't have to put on a good roommate façade. It's not like we're friends."

Misaki felt a sharp pain in his chest that he couldn't quite figure out but ignored it. "Yea, we're not friends at all but I still can't stand seeing someone act so...childish, perhaps? Or detached...?" Misaki was one to talk…He acted strong but he was crying in his sleep almost every night. He was moody and distant most of the time as well.

Shit. 100 points. Saruhiko ‘tsk’ed and looked away for a moment. He looked back, azure eyes meeting amber. "Look who's calling who childish."

Misaki scoffed and picked up his laundry bag, wincing a bit as pain shot through his bruised gut. "At least I'm going down and doing my laundry unlike a certain lazy monkey."

"You do that," Saruhiko said, setting his basket at the foot of his bed. He sat back down, taking the lid off of his coffee and taking a larger drink than before. He sat for a moment in peace before setting it down, grabbing his basket and deciding he would do his laundry after all.

Misaki headed for the laundry room at a leisurely pace. He wouldn't admit that he was a bit worried about another confrontation...And the whispers around him were unsettling. Everyone would immediately stop talking as he passed but he could hear 'gay' or 'got ass kicked' and it pissed him off.

Saruhiko entered the laundry room seconds before Misaki. He put quarters into a dispenser and got a small pod of detergent and softener. He walked over to an open washer and tossed the pods in. He turned the water to cold, threw his laundry in, more money, and hit start. He leaned against it and couldn't help but overhear the whispers when Misaki walked in.

Misaki's mouth was pressed into a hard line. People were certainly staring...and whispering. There were even a few people pointing at Saruhiko. Misaki rolled his eyes and shoved past everyone, walking to the farthest washers. He loaded them quickly, sorting his laundry as he did so, setting the appropriate temperatures, pouring in the soap, and starting them.

Saruhiko hadn’t missed the suspicious behavior of others - the whispers and pointed looks. He caught the words... "Gay", "ass handed to him", and "because of him." What? He stared at the ceiling before looking at Misaki.

By the back wall, there was a row of chairs for waiting. Misaki really didn't want to go back to the room right now despite the looks he was getting. Resolved to waiting an hour or more, he plopped himself in a chair and pulled his PSP from his pocket.

Saruhiko walked over to the chairs and sat down, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. It could be a long hour. He sighed softly, digging in his pockets for any electronic. He found one and pulled it out: his cellphone. He mindlessly scrolled through it. He found solace being alone, tapping out messages in terse replies. Could they function without him there? He sighed when he thought about the surely growing pile of paperwork...

Misaki sat in silence, blocking out the sound of the rumors flying around him. As soon as his laundry was done, he jumped from his seat, threw it in the dryer and walked from the room in search of a vending machine. A cold drink sounded good right about now. When he returned with a can of juice, he was walking with Shogo. 

"Yea...sorry about those guys...I'll talk to them,” Shogo was saying. 

Saruhiko looked up at a somewhat familiar voice. One of those guys from gym. He looked back down, disgust on his pale features.

"Don't worry about it, man..." Misaki rubbed the back of his neck. "It's really not worth it." 

"I'm sorry I didn't help you...but why didn't you fight him back? Are you ok?" Shogo's voice was disgustingly worried.

Saruhiko sighed loudly and crossed his legs, fingers reaching to his collarbone. He sighed again as his fingers traced over the burn.

Misaki continued his conversation for some time - moving on to talk about movies and games. He finally got up when his laundry was done and with the help of Shogo, loaded it into the bag and headed upstairs.

Saru’s took longer, because he opted for the non-energy saving dry mode. When they were done, he walked back to the room, alone. He opened the door and walked in, dropping the basket by his dresser.

Misaki was already sitting on his bed, legs crossed as he folded his clothes. He looked up when he saw Saruhiko and nodded, acknowledging his presence but saying nothing else.

Saruhiko sat on his bed and flopped onto his back. He rolled onto his side, away from Misaki, and took off his glasses. He was tired; he wanted to nap and there was no way that this day was going to become exciting suddenly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to remind everyone this is based on an RP so it switches perspectives. Also - sorry if the descriptors are a bit repetitive. There's only so much a thesaurus can give me and it feels easier to usually just specify 'Saru' or 'Misaki.'

It was worse this time...Mikoto and Totsuka had gone up in flames slowly. His heart was pounding in his ears as he raced towards them but they always seemed to move farther away. He called their names but no sound escaped his parched throat. Suddenly, deep red flames were licking at his feet, causing them to feel warm. Before he could even think, the flames shot up, making him scream in pain and fear. Misaki's thrashing was worse than ever on the morning of October 25th. The two of them had been co-existing for some time now, only talking when they needed. Misaki stuck to his own business and seemed to be doing better with his depression. However, it seemed he would have a nightmare at least once a week.   
Saruhiko was a light sleeper. He always had been. When the mumbling started, he was awake and looking at Misaki. This was a weekly thing. That's how he knew it was still bad; Misaki could smile in gym all he wanted, or cook fried rice with pineapple, but Saruhiko knew he was still not himself. The nightmares were proof enough. He sat up and rubbed his eyes

. "Misaki," he called out, putting his glasses on. Nothing. He normally woke up at that point. He sighed, stopping mid-breath. Usually, he would wake up in an instant but this time, it was like he was trapped as he tossed his head side to side, gripping the sheets and muttering for help.  
Help...? Saruhiko looked over at him twitching and flailing in his sleep. Tentatively, he got up and shook his shoulder. He walked to the kitchen after that, looking over his shoulder to see if it had worked. He took a gulp of water and walked back over, eyebrows creased a bit.

Misaki's skin was warm to the touch, his red aura surrounding his body but not enough to burn anything. He hadn't awoken from Saruhiko's touch at all. He was too deep in a hellish nightmare where his body was burning in the wastelands of what was his home.

.Saru made his way back over and shook him rather roughly, calling his name. "Misaki. Misaki, wake up," he said, shaking one shoulder, then both. He patted his face a few times. "Wake up."

Misaki felt something tapping his cheeks. It was cold and oddly comforting. Blue flames slowly ran up his body, extinguishing red. He gasped, eyes opening quickly. As his vision came into focus, he realized how close Saruhiko's face was to his. Without a thought, he shoved Saruhiko away quickly. "What are you doing, pervert!?"

"Answering your calls for help," he stated, gaining his balance after being shoved. 

"I didn't ask for your help," Misaki muttered half-heartedly.

"You didn't react to me calling your name, so I got physical. You're awake now, aren't you?" he explained, heading back to the kitchen area. He opened the cabinet and took down a cereal bar, opened it and bit down, chewing slowly. The vitamins stared back at him from the cabinet. He closed the door a little more forcefully than necessary. "How was the nightmare this time?"

He pulled his knees to his chest and laid his head on them, watching as Saru moved back to the kitchen and ate a protein bar. "It was...worse than ever," Misaki admitted.

"Really?" he asked, then swallowed. Now wasn't the time for snark. He hesitated for a moment before looking over at him. "Have you thought about seeing someone for them?"

"Seeing someone?" Misaki gulped a bit. If anyone needed to see a therapist, it was the guy with daddy issues. "Well...no...But I mean, haven't YOU thought about seeing someone?"

"Nonsense. I don't need help," he replied, looking in the fridge. He found a can of coffee-- the last one, unfortunately-- and opened it, taking a sip before taking another bite. "You, however, are having nightmares on a weekly basis and they're only getting worse."

Misaki scowled softly and grabbed a fistful of his own hair. He didn't know why but they had been getting nearly unbearable. "I'm fine...really...if it’s that much of a bother then I'll buy you some earplugs," he stated. He believed his noisiness to be the issue.

"They make my ears hurt," he replied, "And they'd only fall out." He finished his bar and dropped the wrapper in the trash can. Walking over to his desk, he pulled out his phone and typed a few things. He set it back down and took a long swig of coffee. "I sent you a link to the student mental health center."

"I don't need it," Misaki said stubbornly. He moved to the edge of his bed and stood on shaking legs. He walked over to the kitchen area and grabbed the bottle of vitamins from the cabinet and slammed them in front of Saru.

Saru clicked his tongue in aggravation and looked up at him. "You can't deny this is getting out of hand," he said, taking the vitamins and pretending to shake a few out. He cupped his hand around his mouth and swallowed, then followed up with the last of his coffee. With the last kick of caffeine he felt slightly alive.

"And you can't deny that you didn't actually take those," Misaki pointed out. "Which proves that you have a problem as well...Do you want to die from malnutrition so badly?" Misaki's voice cracked a bit with concern.

"These are horse pills," he replied, setting the bottle down and sighing. He poured two into his hand and showed him before putting them to his mouth and swallowing them with much difficulty. He took a swig from the water bottle he had abandoned the prior night and sighed. "Didn't know you cared," he muttered, tossing the bottle into the garbage as well.

"Even you don't deserve to die in such a way," Misaki muttered softly, scratching his cheek. "I'll get you some stupid gummy vitamins for adults if you promise to take them. But you need to take better care of yourself. It'll be a pain if I have to help take care of you more than usual."

"Fine," he replied, searching through his drawers for a shirt and pants. "And you need to go to the mental health center," he finished, turning around with a shirt in hand. "Nightmares won't go away because you ignore them."

Misaki avoided making eye contact with Saruhiko. He could easily argue that neither did a lot of the mental instabilities Saruhiko presented but he kept quiet. "Yea, yea...I'll do it tomorrow but for today I just want to enjoy the weekend...somehow...”

"Wasn't there a haunted house or something?" the Blue asked, walking into the bathroom and closing the door. He brushed his teeth, washed his face and changed clothes. He walked out again. "The emails have been spamming my inbox."

Misaki moved back beside his bed and began changing clothes. Pulling on his shirt, his fingers ghosted over the scar on his right shoulder. "Haunted...House? I suppose...we are getting ready for Halloween aren't we?" He shuddered a bit. He would never admit it but he was terrified of ghosts.

"Some of us are," he said, sitting down and opening his netbook. He had the weekend off, thankfully, but still had to answer emails and work on homework. He started typing. "Some of us aren't participating."

"Hmm...I didn't expect you too. You aren't exactly a team player." Misaki had no excuse to stay home and he wasn't going to admit he didn't want to go because he was scared. Nope. Not him. He wasn't scared at all. Misaki pressed the button on the side of his watch that pulled up the tiny holographic screen. He scrolled through his contacts until the name 'Shogo' popped up. "I think I'll go check it out with Shogo."

"It's not a team activity, it's walking down some hallways while people shout 'boo' at you," he replied. His stomach lurched at the mention of Shogo. He paused his typing, glancing over at Misaki.

"Whatever you say. You just don't have any holiday spirit," Misaki told him, rolling his eyes. He opened the text menu and began typing a message to the other male.

He clicked his tongue again and rubbed his collarbone briefly. There wasn't much point in celebrating. What did it do? He turned back to his work. Sighing, he continued typing. Stupid holidays. "Last chance if you want to come along." Misaki offered. He pulled on a sweater and brushed his hair from his eyes.

"Can you even make it through?" he asked, standing. Pulling his shoes on, he looked at the redhead. "I bet you can't."

"I bet I can!" Misaki huffed loudly and crossed his arms. He pulled on his own shoes and headed for the door, lingering a bit for Saru.

"If you can, I'll buy you dinner, your choice, from any place you want," he said, following him. 

"What do I get if I win?"

Misaki shoved his hands in his pockets. His eyes shined brightly at the idea of expensive food. "Hmmm...You get to make one selfish request on your birthday. But only if it doesn't hurt someone."

"Deal," Fushimi agreed, grabbing a hoodie from the closet. He put it on and jammed his keys in the front pocket.

Misaki checked to make sure he had his own keys -- just in case. Of course, he'd totally by able to make it through the haunted house, no problem. As they stepped out, Shogo was walking up the hall, waving.

Saru tried not to let his distrust show on his face as he walked closer. He looked away as they greeted. The hallway was just narrow enough to where he had to walk behind them as they went on and on and on. His temple throbbed slightly.

"Oh! You brought Fushimi-San!" Shogo noted and Misaki nodded. "Yea we have a bit of a bet," Misaki responded. They walked leisurely, discussing games and Halloween. Finally, they arrived at the haunted house.

They all looked up at the building. It was the arts building; the windows were blacked out, and plastic graves stood on the lawns. Signs expressing warnings were posted around: "Beware!" "Haunted house ahead!" And "Donations not necessary but appreciated!" The queue was long, and people in costume wandered around, entertaining people as they waited

The chill in the air made HOMRA's vanguard shiver. Okay, this thing wasn't so bad on the outside...Not that scary when he reminded himself that it wasn't real.

"I heard these kinds of things attract real ghosts," Shogo said in a skeptical voice. Now that, made Misaki worry

Saru snorted. Ghosts? Of what? No one ever died at this school. He kept his hands in his pocket, staring down the people ahead.

The line moved forward slowly. "Okay everyone!! We're sending everyone in groups of 2 to 4! So get with your desired group!" The woman at the front of the line shouted.

"We're three..." The black-haired male muttered. He was fine with the group. One girl was cut off from her friend group. She shot Misaki a rather pointed glare and flounced away, muttering something. What was her deal?

Misaki felt a pang of guilt but said nothing. She had been ignoring him ever since the fight. Whatever... Shogo grabbed Misaki's arm and dragged him in excitedly.

Saru followed behind, stomach clenching. There was a box for donations; he slipped some money in before following them to another line. 

Someone tapped his arm. He turned, and someone put a paper bracelet on. "In case you get separated from your group," he explained. "We got a group of 3!" he bellowed.

Misaki shuddered a bit at the atmosphere. It was a lot darker than before and there was eerie music. Fans were being used to create a chill.

They waited, every few minutes a new group was led in. They were given a "tour guide," dressed like a vampire, who told them a cheesy story featuring a murderous wife and lost souls as they walked through the first room. He concluded the introduction with a joke along the lines of "This place is to die for!" Before getting too close to a window. He was yanked through, screaming.  
Misaki bit his lip and stayed on his guide. He reminded himself it was all fake. Nothing to worry about. Not at all...

They walked to the next room. Music was playing on loop. Someone jumped out and screamed. He inhaled sharply, momentarily tensing. Misaki's entire body tended and he gritted his teeth. Shogo laughed and elbowed him softly.  
They continued on. They were halfway through (or Saru thought) when they entered a room. The body on the bed had a white sheet pulled over.

Misaki felt his heartbeat ease. No big deal...it was just a person under a sheet. They weren't really dead. He had seen death...He calmly started to walk past. In a flash, the person shot up and grabbed his arm. Misaki jumped, grabbing onto the closest arm he could find. Misaki was wrapped around his arm, clinging to it for life. He ignored the stare from Shogo. 

"Is little Misaki going to make it?" Saruhiko asked, extracting his arm and gently pushing him along  
.  
Misaki nearly screeched when he realized whose arm he was holding. "I-I'm fin, thank you!!!" he snarled loudly. He really wanted to hit Saruhiko. His heart was pounding hard from what he believed to be adrenaline.

He tried to play down a smirk as he walked behind them. A room that smelled like clay...made into a cemetery. Creative. They shuffled into the maze of gravestones.

Misaki looked around. It wasn't too complex of a maze...in theory. The smell of clay was oddly comforting as he stepped around the stones. Frankly, he wanted out of here and the smoke machines were making it hard to see.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for feels...I didn't tell clutchesofaname what kind of lines I was going to throw in and I think we both cried a bit as we wrote this one. Enjoy.

Saru saw the exit and clicked his tongue. Why waste time when he could just step over graves? Deciding to do just that, he waited at the exit for his...fellow human beings. Shogo was out next. He looked around for a moment. Neither of them saw any sign of Misaki. 

"Where's Yata?" he asked after a moment. Saruhiko shrugged in response, then heard a shrill scream

Misaki had, of course, gotten lost. He wasn't the best at going in the right direction and a skeleton dropping from the ceiling nearly scared him half to death.

The blue walked back in with a look of grief on his face. "Misaki, just step over them," he called over the music. The clay smell was starting to become nauseating, even as he waited in the doorway. 

Misaki felt somewhat calm when he heard Saruhiko's voice. "Coming..." he called, shakily. He stepped over the gravestones and rushed for the door, nearly falling into Saruhiko.

The latter rolled his eyes, continuing down the hallway. He was leading them now. It irked him to have his back turned on Shogo. They stepped into a dining room type thing, table set and lights low.

"Man...you really go lost back there?" Shogo asked Misaki incredulously.

Misaki just chuckled softly and nervously. "Yeah..man I hope we're almost done here..."

Saru stopped. Something moved in the corner of his eye. He moved to the back of their group, leaving Misaki at the front. Maybe this would scare him enough...

Misaki chewed his lip a bit. Jeez…why did he have to lead the way? It almost made him more anxious than ever as he gingerly walked forward. He peered around Shogo. Nothing yet... And the hallway was really long. Someone jumped out from nowhere, wielding a chainsaw and screaming.

Misaki jumped back quite a bit, shouting in surprise. His reflexes were terribly fast as he swung his fist, somehow managing to hit Saruhiko hard in the chin.

"Oh. Hell!" Misaki gasped when he realized he had hit someone.

Saru grabbed his chin and doubled over. Shit! That hurt! He straightened up and growled. "Was that really necessary?"

Even worse -- he had hit Saru. "Ahh...Sorry...He murmured, looking down.

Saruhiko was sure that he would have a bruise within the next couple of hours. "Come on," he sighed, chainsaw person gone. When would they be able to leave?  
"We should be near the end," Shogo told them both. Misaki sighed in relief and walked between them, feeling safer that way.

Had Shogo done this before? Is that why he knew where to stand? Saru quirked an eyebrow at the back of Shogo's head as he was pulled through two folds of fabric by a worker.

Misaki sighed in relief again as he was greeted with the outside air. His heart was still pounding hard, causing his ears to ring. Slowly, the ringing subsided.

"Uh, Misaki?" Saruhiko asked as he stretched. They had both lost. He looked around quickly. "Do you... notice anything?" The air had gotten considerably cooler.

Misaki shivered a bit and almost danced in place. "It’s really cold..." he muttered. “Is that what you mean?"

"Your friend," he started, "Is still in there." He looked back at the exit. It was the exit; signs around thanked them for their patronage and gave names of who worked on the various rooms. "He was grabbed by a worker."

"Yea??" Misaki tilted his head a bit. "They probably just wanted to talk. Shogo helps the art club a lot," Misaki explained with a shrug. It's not like Saruhiko would have cared so he hadn't said anything.

"Alright," the taller shrugged. "Nice of him to ditch. Now," he said, walking down the sidewalk. "Who won?"

Misaki shoved his hands in his pockets and chewed his lip a bit. He had clearly not won but he hadn't lost either. "Hnmm..." His thin brows knitted together as he looked deep in thought. "I think we both lost," he admitted at last.

"I think you lost," Saru said. "You were so terrified you swung at me." He rubbed his chin at the memory. It was definitely bruising. He winced but made no move to stop.

"I wasn't terrified!" Misaki snapped. "I was startled and my reflexes kicked in -- I have to have fast reflexes to be part of HOMRA but a lazy slug like you who only does paperwork wouldn't get it....You lost...I saw you jump a few times."

"When did I jump?" he denied, continuing his walk. "I didn't jump. And I heard you scream in there, too. You. Lost," he taunted. "Couldn't handle a little haunted house, could you Misaki?" He drew out each syllable of Yata’s name in a sing-song voice. 

"I did not lose!" Misaki shouted. "And you certainly did not win!" Misaki's face twisted in frustration before he took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Well...what should we do then? If we both lost...Also, let me go get a soda from the vending machine -- you can put it on your stupid chin."

"The campus lovers are having a quarrel!" someone shouted from across the street. Saru turned and shot them a glare. Misaki tensed when he heard the person shout. He really wanted to crawl in a hole and just disappear.

Turning back to Misaki, he continued to follow. "Well gee, since we both lost, we should get something," he sarcastically started. "Why don't you just kiss it better?" He rolled his eyes. 

Saruhiko's proposition only reinforced the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He felt the tips of his ears grow a dark pink from annoyance and embarrassment. "H-here!?"

"Sure! Why not here?" he replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Give them a show." The hoots and hollers continued. He stopped and put his hands on his hips. "I'm waiting."

Misaki clenched his jaw hard, his teeth making a loud popping noise as he gnashed them together. He really wanted to beat the shit out of Saruhiko. Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut and stood on his toes. He quickly pressed his lips to Saruhiko's chin and pulled away, face beet red. His life would surely become more miserable from this.

Saruhiko’s eyes widened in surprise and he felt his heart stop. Misaki actually did it. He rubbed his chin as the cheers died down. He rushed ahead of Misaki, warmth growing across his cheeks and down his neck.

Misaki shifted awkwardly. He didn't know what to do. If he followed Saruhiko, things would look worse. If he went off on his own, he'd probably get confronted again... Just as he felt like he might cry from his own stupidity, Shogo came out of the building. "Yo, Yata!" Shogo called. 

The two of them talked for a bit about the haunted house and the weather. It wasn't until an hour later that Misaki threw open the dorm door and flopped on his bed face down, clad in Shogo's sweater.

Saruhiko was buried in his work, water bottle propped against his chin. Misaki walked back in, wearing someone's sweater. Whose? His blue eyes narrowed. He watched as Misaki flopped down on the bed, burying his face. What was his deal?

"Sometimes I really hate you," Yata muttered into his pillow. He didn't mean it but he certainly wasn't happy with Saruhiko right now. As expected, as soon as Misaki had parted from Shogo, he was getting all kinds of insults thrown at him.

"You didn't have to kiss my chin," he replied. "I was being sarcastic. Too thick to get it?" He continued typing as he spoke in a nonchalant manner. He had gotten weird looks on the way back, but it could’ve been for a few reasons. Not that Saruhiko wasn't used to the looks. He was. "Why do you care so much anyway? They don't matter."

Misaki rolled onto his side. "Sometimes it's hard to tell if you're being serious or just a jerk...I just want you to shut up. And it matters because I'm tired of getting kicked around because of you."

"Why are you getting your ass kicked because of me?" he asked, turning in his chair. "It's not because we're roommates." A thought struck him. "Did you really get into a fight over Homra at that party? Or did someone say something about me and you opened your big mouth again?"

Misaki immediately regretted speaking. He wouldn't look at Saruhiko nor would he speak, silence swelled in the room to a suffocating point. "Doesn't matter..." he mumbled at last.

"Yes it does. You opened your mouth, defended me, and now people think we're lovers. You brought this upon yourself," Saruhiko snapped. 

"I'm not like you. I can't sit by and watch as people get walked all over!" Misaki shouted back. 

"I didn't ask for you to defend me. I could care less what those assholes think of me. You didn't have to make it your own business and make your life miserable," Saruhiko added, turning back to his laptop. Stupid fucking Misaki.

 

"I certainly can't stand it when people talk about things they don't know shit about!! Yea, you're an arrogant, selfish, shady pervert but when those guys brought up you being a daddy's boy I wanted to kill them!!" Misaki yelled. 

"Why do you care so much about what people think of me?" Fushimi retorted, facing him and gripping the arms of his chair. "You wanting to save everyone will get you killed. Do you want to end up dead like Totsuka or Mikoto? No? Then stop caring about other people," he retaliated. "That includes me."

"Don't you dare talk about them!" Misaki was on his feet in an instance, eyes angry and red aura surrounding his small body. "And of course you'd say that! You don't care about anyone! That's why you left HOMRA-- left me!” Misaki's voice dropped before he continued. "You...you're so caught up in not getting close to people. You're afraid...and it's pathetic. "He headed towards the door, a textbook under his arm. Before exiting the room, he turned, golden eyes soft with pity. 

"I'll die for loving people...But you? You'll die alone for being a cruel person. Just like your dad..." Misaki knew he had crossed the line. He didn't dare look at Saruhiko's face as he slammed the door behind him and rushed for somewhere to be alone.

White hot rage and bone-crushing sadness filled Saruhiko at Misaki’s parting words. Just like... his dad? He slammed his laptop shut and sat there, expressionless. Pathetic? Didn't care about anyone? Why care about people? They'd just hurt you anyway. They always did. Hurt them first, and they'd never get close enough to hurt you. He didn't move, ignoring the buzzing indicating he had an email or the messages piling up on his phone. Finally he came to his senses, opening his laptop and resuming work. He moved through the motions, hollow. He absent-mindedly got a few cans of coffee from the fridge before remembering Misaki bought them and shoving them aside.


	9. Chapter 9

Misaki was running hard. He wasn't sure where he was going as he rushed up three flights of stairs. His vision was blurred as tears spilled from his eyes and down his cheeks. Stupid Saruhiko...why did Misaki still care after all this time? Why was he crying over the fact that he knew he had gone too far? Any chance of going back now he had thrown out the window in a matter of seconds...Misaki finally slammed into a door, collapsing against it. A startled Shogo opened the door, a towel draped over his bare shoulders as his dark hair dripped. "Yata?" he asked with grave concern. Misaki was babbling quickly and apologizing over and over.

"Shh...Shh...Yata...calm down..." Shogo pulled the sobbing vanguard inside and held him until he stopped sobbing. Afterwards, Misaki told him everything - about how they were once friends, then rivals, about Totsuka, about Mikoto, about the alliance...And about the terrible things they had both just said. 

"You should apologize," Shogo said at last. "It's never too late to make it right...because you truly feel bad." 

"But what if...he doesn't forgive me?" Misaki murmured. 

"Just apologize...you have a huge heart Yata, why else would you be here sobbing because you hurt someone? You care about mending your friendship." Shogo stood and pulled Misaki to his feet. He dragged him to the door, kissed his forehead and opened it. "And think about what I asked you earlier?" Misaki nodded and left the room.

Saruhiko didn't really want to be there, but where else did he have to go? He didn't have a room at the dorms, and he would sooner die than stay with someone there. Was this a glimpse into the next four years? Maybe something would happen, all chances of this alliance ruined, and they would stop trying to cooperate. Then Misaki and Saru could go back to never seeing each other, save for a few fights before one of them died young. He could only hope. The bespectacled man winced, realizing how much he had been digging at his collarbone.

Misaki practically dragged his feet, taking his time to get back, hoping Saru would be askeep. Finally, he opened the door and slipped inside.  
Saruhiko had fallen asleep at the desk; using his arms as a pillow. His laptop was still open, casting a glow on his face. His breathing was deep and he shifted slightly.

Misaki shifted awkwardly. Of course...he wouldn't be able to apologize. Misaki chewed his lip before covering Saru up with a blanket from the aforementioned’s bed. He then moved to his own bed. He had really wanted to stay awake...escape the potential nightmares...but crying so much had worn him out.

Saruhiko shifted, tightening his arms and squirming more before opening his eyes and blinking. His neck was cramped; he sat up, massaging it. Shit. He closed the laptop. Standing, he noticed his blanket falling to the floor. He looked over to see that Misaki was lying face down in his pillow, math book on the floor open to a random page. Misaki’s clothes lay in a pile on the floor and his bare leg stuck out from under the blanket and hung off the bed.

Saru wasn't going to say anything. He padded over to his dresser and pulled out pajamas. He slipped them on, putting his clothes in the hamper. He padded to his desk and picked up the blanket. He laid down and draped it over himself before removing his glasses. He laid on his side, facing away from Misaki.

Yata’s nightmares were worse than ever. They had always been the same but this time the fire was burning more intensely or burning up his own body. This time...it was Saruhiko...burnt up by Misaki's own flames. There were no blue flames to save him this time...even has his own body began to burn. He watched Saruhiko's face burn and twist away, leaving behind a skull with deep black voids were eyes should be. Morning came and Misaki sat up sharply, nearly screaming. Sweat dropped down his face and back as he looked around the tiny dorm room.

Saruhiko had disappeared into the bathroom around the third time Misaki said his name. The shower was running full blast, steam clouding the bathroom. He scrubbed himself, wincing and sucking air in harshly whenever soap touched his burnt-out insignia. Heart pounding, he shut the water off and stepped out.

Misaki was nearly dressed when Saruhiko stepped out. He scowled a bit and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Saruhiko...I...uhm...I went too far yesterday and I'm really, really sorry!" Misaki bowed deeply to show how sorry he was.

Fushimi stopped and looked at the smaller male. The water from his hair dripped on his glasses; he clicked his tongue and walked to the dresser. He pulled out clothes and walked back to the bathroom. In his rush to escape Misaki calling his name, he had forgotten about them. 

"Whatever," he called over his shoulder.

Misaki felt a sharp pain in his chest. He looked down but said nothing. He grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder. He didn't have classes in the morning on this day but he had other arrangements to take care of.

Saruhiko felt like he should say something too. He had pushed the wrong button, and he knew it, but it got the vanguard to go away, right? Isn't that how it was supposed to work? The wound wasn't deep enough. But he had used his last "deep cut" card years ago. He walked back out to see the redhead was gone. Sighing, Saruhiko began loading his bag with the things he needed. 

Misaki barely spoke to Saruhiko over the next week. He still cooked for them both but never brought Saru the plate. He was gone a lot more often as well. Saru noticed, and the dorm felt emptier as well. Even when Misaki was around, and the few times he had his mouth shut, there was another presence. He had applauded himself for not getting attached, and breaking anything off before he could, before realizing he had grown used to Misaki being there. He scraped most of his plate off into the garbage as well, appetite shot, not that Yata would have noticed since he bolted after eating and wouldn't look at Saru anyway.

Misaki felt bad. He didn't know what to do but he hated how things were. A week had passed slowly and he sighed loudly, at long last. "We have physical education in an hour, don't forget." He announced.

The blue leaned back in his chair, popping his fingers. Was he going to go? The teacher was pretty strict about attendance. He sighed and nodded, closing his laptop and standing. His uniform was on top of his clean, unfolded laundry. He began packing for the class, back turned to Yata.

Misaki shoved his stuff in a bag and left the room first. He practically ran to the locker room to be away from Saruhiko. Saru watched him bolt, sighing. If he had swallowed his pride and apologized...? He shook his head. Four years, and they were done. There was no point in him getting soft. He had his things packed and was out the door fifteen minutes later. The walk would take another 15. 

Misaki was already changed by the time Saruhiko would arrive. He was sitting on the bleachers, leaning over the math textbook with Shogo. Saruhiko entered the locker room much later, walking straight to his locker and started to peel his clothes off.

"Did you hear?" Someone mumbled. 

"Yeah...I heard they're dating," another guy muttered.

"No way? Shogo is like that?"

Saruhiko slammed his locker door and listened. They didn't stop talking; no wonder Yata had been bolting; were they spending time together? Surely they were, Misaki never had plans otherwise. Fushimi’s stomach rolled; he walked out of the locker room and into the gym, slamming past a few guys in the process but not caring.

Everyone turned and mumbled amongst themselves. Misaki was playfully shoving Shougo, a large smile on his face. It was the same way he had once been with Saruhiko once upon a time. That smile had been rare since Saru’s betrayal until now, at least after losing Totsuka and Mikoto.

Saruhiko walked in circles around the gym, head back. He inhaled, then exhaled, before shaking his head and standing. His back was to the door; he reminded himself he had no one to blame but himself. Pale fingers pressed to his collarbone but he made no move. The scratching hadn't started in a while, mostly due to Misaki's absence. He dropped his hand to his side, suddenly exhausted.

The coach blew his whistle and everyone stood. He explained what they would do for the day; it was a simple day of running laps. Misaki rushed out the door and onto the track. He jogged with Shogo the whole time until the end of class, laughing and smiling. After class, he lingered a bit and would return to the dorm a few hours later. He seemed happier than ever.  
Saruhiko’s headphones were on and he was focused on whatever was on his screen by the time Misaki showed up. The nausea had gone; he tried to forget gym class and was debating faking a death to get out of class for the week. Easy enough to fake; complicated in theory. Empty cans surrounded him, leftovers scraped into the garbage after he nearly rejected them after smelling the food cook. He didn't look up, fingers dancing across the keys.

Misaki groaned softly. The old food in the trashcan was stinking up the place. He knew it was pointless to complain at Saru to eat. Instead, he began to pick up the trash surrounding Saruhiko with an annoyed sigh. He glared at the back of the other's head a bit.

A pale hand closed around his wrist. Pulling off his headphones, Saru looked up at him. "I'm fine to do it myself, Yata," he clipped, pushing his arm away. "Don't invade my space." He started to slip the headphones back on.

Misaki nearly felt his heart shatter. He hated his name so why...why did his chest hurt at being called by what he would prefer? He dropped the bag of trash beside Saru. Before he could speak, there was a soft knock on the door and Misaki opened it to Shogo's smiling face. 

"Misaki-kun, are you ready to go work on math?" Shogo asked happily. He gave a curt nod to Saruhiko and Misaki grabbed his bag without a second thought. Misaki was thankful it was the weekend and Saru would be leaving.

Saruhiko didn't acknowledge Shogo. He was acutely aware he was there; he held his breath, and only released it once he had gone. He looked at the time and stood up. He was going to be on duty all weekend, only returning Sunday night. He finished his homework and stood, packing his electronics in a bag before going to his drawers and throwing his uniform into a bag.


	10. Chapter 10

Saruhiko finished packing and hefted the bag over his shoulder. It was enough for the weekend; he grabbed his keys and walked to the door. He didn't know if Misak-- Yata would be working, if Homra called it that, or if he would be with what's-his-face. Walking outside, he started the trek to Scepter 4 HQ.

Misaki walked with Shogo for some time, the two of them talking about anything and everything. Shogo was nice, he listened to everything and he was understanding. And he even helped Misaki find volunteer work that would help him graduate. Shogo was almost too perfect; he was kind and didn't care about Misaki's temper or his weird taste for pineapple. He even said Misaki's name was very fitting - which was why Shogo was the only person aside from his mom allowed to call him by it.

 

Misaki was enjoying his date. The two were walking in the park, eating crêpes when there was a loud explosion. Of course....A second later Kusanagi called. "Shittttt," Misaki growled before picking up the phone.

"Yata-chan, there's a high level strain causing chaos near your school. We're heading over with the blues. Get everyone out of there if you get there before us." Misaki nodded and rushed towards the area.

"Stay back, okay?!" Misaki yelled to Shogo. He began shouting for people to leave.

Saruhiko's phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and saw it was Seri. "Yes?" he sighed, putting the phone to his ear. A moment later, he heard an explosion. Clicking his tongue, he listened to her and gave confirmation that he knew where to go. He briskly walked to the location she told him to find the Blues just arriving. Half of them were evacuating people, as were a few members of HOMRA. 

Misaki had been asked to help pursue the strain after evacuating everyone. It sounded easy in theory but she was strong and not in a talking mood.

Seri greeted Fushimi as he walked past, climbing into a van and barking out orders. Someone handed him a headset; he put it on and watched the screens carefully.

"Yata-san! Take the left and try to cut her off!" Rikio shouted. He was quite fast for his size and was trying to close in on the woman from the side. The initial plan was to chase and corner her near Anna, but somehow, she easily escaped the Red King's abilities to project the feeling of being drowned onto someone. Misaki wasn't happy at the idea of working with the blues but he had no choice and a few of them were nice enough- unlike Saru.

"Someone tell Yata and his friend they need to move three feet to the right," he barked, tearing his eyes from where his roommate was frantically dashing about. He ignored the looks around him. What a start to his weekend; he groaned.

"Y-yessir!" Akiyama shouted before turning away to relay the message to Rikio over the headsets. Rikio shouted orders to Misaki who moved in front of the opening between two buildings. 

"Shit..." She was coming right at him and worse yet, there was a child hunkered behind the alley's dumpster. A large force of power flew at him and he blocked it with his skateboard, shining with the red aura he poured into it. 

"Guys! There's a civilian behind me! Someone get her out of there!" Misaki shouted. His feet were sliding back from the force of the strain.

Good - they found her. Fushimi allowed himself to relax for a moment before going back to work. "If there's someone not doing anything - get him to preoccupy her," he said. "Someone make a diversion so Yata can attack her head on," he barked into the mic. "Blow up the cafe. Now."

"Yessir!" Someone shouted. It only took two reds to blow it up. The owners wouldn't be happy about, but it would be taken care of by Scepter 4. Misaki took the opening and charged head on. He stomped on the edge of the board and kicked it towards her skull. The board slammed into her side and he winced. He hated hurting women. Rikio rushed and slammed into her, pinning her down. "Got her!!"

Saru exhaled, removing his headset. Finally. He sat back in his chair, opting to ride back to HQ instead of walking. Speaking of which... he was probably going to scolded later. But the assailant was subdued, wasn't she? No one could really get mad.

Everyone seemed surprised. Misaki and Saru had barely spoken. Even more surprising-- Saruhiko had called Misaki by his last name. The two of them were getting strange looks from their groups.

Saru glared back at anyone looking at him strangely. He didn't acknowledge anyone's questions about it either. Soon, they stopped asking. He opted to spend his nights at HQ awake, correcting peoples' work and catching up on his own. The weekdays had become devoted to homework; only after did he start on his personal work, getting less and less sleep as time went on. Discarded cans of coffee surrounded him and his laptop.

Misaki was spending less and less time in the dorms. He went on dates, he worked on his volunteer stuff, occasionally coming home covered in paint. He attended classes and ignored Saru as much as possible.

… 

If the purpose of the alliance was to bridge the gap between them, Saruhiko was starting to think it was complete. They hadn't fought in weeks-- not since the big fight-- and could be civil when they talked. Generally, it was a confirmation if they were out of something or wondering if the other would be home that night or weekend. He wasn't sure of Misaki's emotional state, unsure if he was sleeping through his nightmares or if he stopped having them, not that it concerned him, anyway.

Saruhiko started working on a proposal one night after Misaki-- erm, Yata, came back, grabbed his charger, and darted off again. He wanted to be free to have their own living accommodations after the New Year passed, since the purpose of them living together had been fulfilled.

Misaki entered the room looking a bit distraught one morning. "You...so you're leaving after the New Year?" He asked, his voice dropping low.

He looked up from packing his gym bag and quirked an eyebrow. His clan should be working instead of gossiping... he sighed. "Yes."

"Hmm...I see," Misaki growled, shoving his gym clothes in his bag roughly. Whatever he was upset about, his gym clothes didn't deserve such manhandling. He slung the back over his shoulder and stood. "I hope you have a better roommate then," he muttered half-heartedly.

"I'm not getting another roommate. I'm moving back in to my old room and commuting to school," he replied. "The purpose of us living together was to bridge the gap so our clans could have a successful alliance. We don't fight anymore, so the purpose has been fulfilled. Ergo, we don't need to be roommates anymore." He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked to the door, grabbing his keys as he did so. 

Misaki felt an overwhelming amount of frustration. He wanted to punch Saru so hard...tell him he was being a stupid pissbaby and running from his problems. "You hate me that much?" he mumbled to himself. 

"Might alert your boyfriend to the upcoming vacancy. Start making plans to live together," he said, opening the door and walking out. Misaki would wait five minutes before heading for gym class. 

 

Saruhiko walked into the locker room, ignoring the din coming from the showers. He walked to his locker and opened it. He took his shoes off and started changing, breathing deeply as he did so. Why was his stomach turning?

"Ahh...Fushimi-san. Can we talk?" Shogo looked down the rows of lockers at Saruhiko, narrowing his eyes curiously. Saruhiko narrowed his eyes back at him, pulling his shirt on. His stomach rolled again, dropping to his feet. 

"I don't have anything to say to you."

"Is that right?" Shogo hummed. "Could it be...you're jealous? After all...I've seen the way you look at Misaki," Shogo said softly.

Saruhiko’s nerves thrummed; jealous... that'd explain things. But why? "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said, looking down.

"It's no surprise, you know...He's so pure hearted...You'd think that his lips would be chapped but they're soft...And his name is beautiful, just like that red hair." Shogo smirked softly.

Warmth creeped up Fushimi’s neck and he closed his locker, a bit harder than intended. "I'm happy for you," he ventured, voice miraculously steady, "But I have no interest in hearing about whatever it is you have going on." His voiced wavered on the last two words. He swallowed hard.

Shogo narrowed his eyes. "You can fool him...but you can't fool me. If you'd just admit your feelings for him, I'd give him up to you." Shogo's voice was sympathetic, his eyes soft.

Saruhiko quirked an eyebrow. If he...admitted... Misaki was very trusting.. Shogo wasn't. Could he tell him? Well, not like it'd matter in a few weeks, anyway. He had nothing to lose. He nodded slowly, lightheaded. He looked at Shogo, bracing himself against a locker.

Shogo offered a small smile and turned away slowly. "Until then...I intend to make him happy."

Shit. Fuck gym, he could barely stand. He opened his locker and peeled his uniform off, changing back into his normal attire. He rushed out, nearly knocking Yata over. He looked at him, eyes wide, before walking away.


	11. Chapter 11

Misaki was walking in leisurely when Saruhiko nearly knocked him over. He wondered what was wrong...The look in Saruhiko's eyes was worrisome. Misaki smacked his cheeks, Saruhiko was not his problem. He wasn't sure why...but he had rushed out of the gym's double doors rather quickly. He was worried -- even though he told himself it wasn't his business. Saruhiko was not his friend but why...why was he following him? Maybe it was because Misaki wanted to talk to him...tell him that everything would be okay and that Saruhiko's shitty life wasn't his own fault

Saru didn't remember walking to the remnants of the cafe, but his feet took them there. He remembered watching Misaki that day, still able to predict his moves even after all those years. Saru’s breathing was normal; his heart was almost at a normal pulse.

 

Saru picked up a brick and looked at it. He felt better, but Shogo's words echoed in his head. Tell him... the rolling in his stomach ebbed when he admitted to himself he liked Misaki. Misaki. He put the brick down.

"Oi! Why the hell did you skip class?!" Misaki's voice was loud as he charged towards Saruhiko. His brow was knitted in pure worry and he glared up at Saruhiko when he came closer.

"Why are you?" Saruhiko asked, face stoic but eyes betraying the flurry of emotions building in him. Misaki’s red hair... it looked soft. How did it feel? His hand twitched at his side. How could he willingly give up Misaki?

"You know...you've been acting really stupid...I know you hate me. Fine, whatever," Misaki took a deep breath before continuing, "but I want you to know that you've been through a lot...and it's not your fault that you're a distant piece of shit...you can't help it. And I don't hate you. Switch rooms if you want but...you should consider talking to someone...you'll be happier." The redhead’s words spilled quickly from his lips, fearing he’d be interrupted.

Saruhiko shakily inhaled, fists clenching and heart rate growing. "I don't...hate you," he began, voice tight. "I..." He trailed off, thinking where to go next. "I might try," he said, chickening out. Regret immediately settled in the pit of his stomach and tugged at his heart. 

"Then..." Misaki shifted awkwardly. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "I think I'd like to see someone as well...I think it would help you a lot. You...didn't deserve what you went through but don't take it out on everyone else." It was surprisingly mature for Misaki to say any of this. Whatever he had been studying had made him more empathetic.

I'd like to go with you, Saruhiko thought, stomach clenching in desperation. "I...need to tell you something. By my birthday," he said.

"Sure thing," Misaki nodded calmly and looked away. He felt a wave of embarrassment suddenly from saying weird things. "Let's just go home. We'll skip the rest of today's classes."

The blue nodded and started to the dorm. He now had a deadline. His stomach calmed; his breathing returned to normal.

"What do you even want for your birthday?" Misaki asked suddenly. He had been walking ahead of Saru just a bit, arms folded leisurely behind his head. He turned a bit to look at Saruhiko curiously. "It's only a month away..."

You, he thought. Shit. Focus. "I don't celebrate my birthday," he replied. "No point."

Misaki scowled deeply. He wanted to do something for Saruhiko. He'd really like it if Saruhiko could learn to enjoy a few things...even if they once held painful memories. "Well, if you change your mind then let me know..." he murmured softly as they got closer to their dorm  
.  
Saru gave a curt nod, waiting behind the smaller male as he fumbled with his keys and opened the door. He walked in behind Misaki. Setting his stuff down, he sat in his desk chair. Birthday... What did he want? Other than the obvious.

Misaki sat his own things down and began throwing his gym clothes aside. "Not that you'll eat...but you're on your own for lunch..." Misaki called over his shoulder. He pulled on a clean shirt and a pair of shorts. "I'll be gone for the next couple of hours."

He silently agreed and looked at the vanguard. Here and gone... Misaki’s boyfriend said he'd let him go if Saru told the truth, but what was the point? Did he even feel the same? "Okay," he said, standing and shuffling to his bed. He fell onto it. 

Misaki was volunteering more and more at the daycare when he could. There was one little kid in particular that reminded him of a certain apathetic blue. He glanced at Saruhiko and sighed. 

 

"Please eat something," he called as he left the room.

Thanks, Mom. Not. He waited an hour before moving to the kitchen. Food. What did they have? He opened the cupboards and checked. No. Just...no. He opened the fridge. Leftovers. He grabbed a container of fried rice and stuck it in the microwave. When it was warm, he picked at it for another hour.

There was a soft knock on the door two hours after Misaki left. "Misaki?" Shogo called through the door. "Are you in? I brought your stuff from gym."

He walked over and opened the door. "Misaki isn't in," he replied, looking at him inquisitively. "You mean he's not with you?"

Shogo peaked over Saruhiko's shoulder a bit before shaking his head. "Nope...hmm...he must have gone to work then...he really loves that place." Shogo sighed before holding out a pile of clothes and a math book to Saru. "Here, these are his. See ya!" Shogo waved a bit before leaving, humming happily.

He took them and watched Shogo walk away. Closing the door behind him, he looked at the book. He set the things on Misaki’s desk, going back to his food. He rubbed his face before realizing his hands smelled like Misaki from handling his clothes. Shit.

Misaki came through the door ten minutes later. His cheeks and shirt were splattered with paint and a few specks of glitter stuck in his hair. He was hungry and tired as he slid the door shut and looked at Saruhiko. "How long have you been picking at your food?" he asked pointedly.

"What the hell is all over you?" he asked, eyes wide. "Did you go to a daycare??" He set the container down and stood, taking in the sight of his roommate looking like a toddler's battleground.

"Daycare?" Misaki laughed nervously. It was a bad and somewhat obnoxious habit he had when he attempted to lie. "N-no way...why would I go to a place like that?" Misaki asked. He stepped towards his side of the room and grabbed the shirt from his desk. He was thankful that he had worn a shirt that was old as he pulled it over his head, rustling his hair and making more glitter fall to the floor. Damn...that stuff may as well be permanent.

"You weren't with your boyfriend," he said, walking over. "He just came by. Where else could you have been?" He reached his hand out to a spattering of paint on the lightly tanned cheek. "This is your job? Working at a daycare?"

'Boyfriend...' There was that word again. Why did everyone keep saying it? Misaki stepped back a bit, glaring. "N-no...I was just...uhhhh....painting. With Anna. Yup! I was with Anna the whole time. Had to check on her." Worst. Lie. Ever. Anna had been opening up a lot more but there was no way she would conduct herself like a child.

"You're so full of shit," he murmured, pulling his hand back. He took a step back as well. "Admit it already."

Misaki tugged at his chestnut colored hair in frustration. "Fiiiiiine. I'll tell you-- but only if you stop calling that guy my boyfriend." Misaki flopped on his bed in defeat and glared at Saru as he tugged off a shoe.

"That's what he is, isn't he?" he asked, going back to his desk and sitting. He picked up his food and took a bite. "You two are dating. Right?"

Misaki shook his head. "No. Saying he and I are dating...it'd be the same as saying we were dating in middle school." Misaki moved to sit cross-legged on his bed. "I mean...yeah, he likes me...but I just...can't feel the same."

Saruhiko studied the redhead before him, taking another bite of food. "Why?" he asked without thinking. It would be weird to think of them dating in middle school. Mostly because Misaki had been so immature. He'd grown up and changed, finding himself and gaining confidence... Damn it! Stop it! Saruhiko thought to himself.

Misaki looked at the wall, suddenly finding it very fascinating. The tips of his ears and his nose became pink. "B-because....I'm not like that...." Misaki lied. He'd sooner deny his sexuality than admit to liking someone. Especially when that someone was a total asshole. A traitorous jerk. And a finicky eater.

Saru tilted his head. The sight was adorable. He looked down at his food and tried to wipe the smirk off his face. "Look at the virgin blushing at the mention of crushes," he crooned. He was a quarter finished with his rice.

Misaki tugged off his other shoe and chucked it at the wall behind Saru's head. His face was even redder. "Just shut up and eat!! I've seen three year olds who are less picky than you!"

"When do you see three-year-olds?" Saru inquired, leaning forward. "When you're working at the daycare? Admit it already," he said. "I'm waiting." He took another bite.

"Yes," Misaki grumbled. "I work at a daycare. We all have to have 'experience' for our majors and...I'm getting mine now," He huffed. "You're an asshole," the redhead added.

"So you aren't a video game production major," he stated. "I knew that was a lie, since we hardly have any classes together. Those majors have a fair bit of overlap," he mused, taking a final bite and setting it aside. "Wait, me? Asshole?"

"No. I decided I wanted to do something else," Misaki muttered. "And yes, you're an asshole...but so am I sometimes so...sorry again about the other day. I crossed the line. By a lot."

Saruhiko looked down and then returned his gaze to the small male before him. He shakily inhaled and nodded. "It's safe to say...I did too," he finished, biting down the remarks he normally would have thrown. He cleared his throat, looking at the rice. He put a hand over his mouth as he gagged.

Misaki watched Saru carefully. "You know...you complained at me for not eating right but...you haven't eaten properly in so long that it’s affecting you both physically and psychologically. You need to start eating better," Misaki scolded. "But don't push yourself all at once. You need to start with small meals or you'll get sick."

Maybe I don't care about me, the officer thought as he pushed the food away. "Thanks, Doctor Yata," he replied. "I'll start with smaller portions as soon as my roommate stops cooking for an army."

"Hey! I always give you small portions!" Misaki protested. He couldn't help it. He was used to cooking for a bunch of guys -- and Rikio ate enough for three. Plus, his mom had always cooked way too much food, so maybe it was inherited. "You'll affect us all on missions if you're too weak to even stand." Besides...you really will end up like that man, Misaki thought to himself.

"Small, my ass," he scoffed. He partially listened to Misaki’s reply, nodding along. "Okay. Thanks for the lecture. I thought I was skipping class today. Is your career goal a professor?"

"Ha ha ha, very funny," Misaki deadpanned. "No," he added. He had no intention of telling Saruhiko, though he knew the other was smart enough to figure it out. This felt like...Misaki felt his stomach clench. It felt like they were friends again but that was impossible, right? But it felt nice to be able to joke like this with someone.

Saruhiko stood and dumped the remaining food in the garbage. Grabbing a towel, he walked to the bathroom door and looked at Yata. "I'm going to shower. Think of a deeper reason why I can't stomach food," he said, walking in and closing the door behind him. He dropped the towel and put his fists to his temples, the full extent of the last 4 hours hitting him. He got into the shower and started scrubbing. The steam clouded the mirror, and his glasses sitting on the counter. He started to wash his hair, holding it under the stream to rinse. He shut off the water and stepped out. Shit... he bent over and picked up his partially wet shirt.

Misaki rolled his eyes but said nothing. Instead, he sat on his bed and glared at his math book. After five minutes, he decided it wasn't worth it and picked up his child psychology book instead.

Misaki's phone began to ring and he answered it. He was talking in a low voice for some time before shouting, "What!?" loud enough that the whole floor could probably hear him.

Saruhiko emerged from the bathroom, shirt balled up in his hands. He threw it into the basket before going to his dresser. "Quiet down," he scolded, "You're so loud."

"I can't! That guy-- that shady king of yours!" Misaki's mouth was agape as he stared at the small screen on his phone. Anna was smiling a bit. Misaki was in shock.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with the recent events of ROK, I'd just like to let everyone know that this fic is definitely a separate universe. Prepare yourselves for fluff to come.

"Yes, he's adopting me," Anna said again.

Saruhiko stopped and blinked in confusion. Adopt...? "Sir, what is the meaning of this?" he asked, stepping closer to Misaki.

"A young lady shouldn't be living in the upstairs of a bar filled with... ruffians," Reisi Munakata explained calmly.

"I...what? Are you...ok with this Anna?" Misaki asked. That room was special...it was hers and Mikoto's. Anna nodded, she was smiling softly. "Munakata-san wants a family...but he's too busy and me too...And he promised me lots of Red things."

"There you have it, Yata," Fushimi stated, smugly. He walked to his dresser and pulled out a clean shirt. Pulling it on, he faced them again. "If you're still unsure about it call Kusanagi." 

Munakata? With a family? He thought back to the baby strain. It wasn't such a foreign idea... but not what he would have expected from the alliance, either.

"So long as you are happy," Misaki said at last. He hung up and blinked softly. Things were apparently better than he thought. He sighed softly and shifted a bit before laying back on his bed.

Things were changing. Saruhiko cleared his throat and walked to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and sipping. His stomach felt distended; he tried to ignore it and took out the gummy vitamins. He shook the bottle, opening it and peering inside. "We're out," he said, putting them back.

Misaki scowled a bit. They were running low on a lot of things. All while they were fighting, he had neglected to buy some things. "I'll go shopping, then. We're out of most of food anyway," Misaki grabbed his wallet. He was running low on cash but he wasn't about to say anything.

He pulled out his wallet and took out some bills. He folded them and handed them to Misaki. "Coffee. Body wash. Toothpaste. Cereal bars," he said, walking away and sitting down. The money he gave Yata was more than enough-- maybe he'd get some good food with it. Something that wouldn't make him vomit.

"Do you still use the same soap and toothpaste?" Misaki asked. He stared at the bills. Far too much money...Mentally, he reviewed what would be easy on Saruhiko's stomach and what he would actually eat. "Do you want to go with me?" he asked.

"No. I switched," he replied. "I don't particularly want to go with you, but if it means getting what I want, sure." He stood and pulled his shoes on.

"If you don't want to go them just tell me what you need," Misaki told him with an exasperated sigh. He pulled on his own shoes and a lightweight hoodie.

"How do I know you'll remember?" he countered. "And I'm tired of answering those stupid questions," he said, gesturing to his laptop. "What else is there to do?"

Misaki nodded as if to say 'fair enough.' He shoved his keys in his pocket and exited the dorm first. He could only hope there would be decent sales as he walked slowly. Saru followed behind him, keys in pocket and his hands around the keys. His phone was in his pants pocket. Saruhiko’s anxiety and nausea had subsided; he sighed, rolling his head back. What the hell had gotten into him earlier?

They walked for some time in painful silence until finally they arrived at the store. It was fairly empty with only a handful of people. Misaki preferred the place. It was friendly and cheap and never overwhelmed with crowds. "Go get your soap and stuff...I'm going to go pick out some meat first..."

The dark-haired man nodded. He strolled to the aisle and walked down it, looking at the different brands of toothpaste. He found what he needed and held it as he walked to the next aisle, where the soap and shampoo was. He grabbed his preferred soap and started towards where he thought Misaki would be.

Misaki had already picked out some chicken and Saruhiko's favorite kinds of fish. At present, he was knelt down, talking to a little boy. The child looked a bit grumpy like Saruhiko, but he seemed fond of Misaki.

Fushimi stood a few feet away, observing the two. Misaki was a natural with kids, really. He watched him talk to the kid, animated and speaking to him rather than below him. A warm feeling spread through his chest and to his fingers.

Misaki ruffled the child's hair and the boy's eyes lit up. He gave a small smile to Misaki before running off to find his parents again. Misaki stood and stretched a bit. Slowly, his eyes caught Saru's and he felt incredibly embarrassed.

Saruhiko looked away for a moment to clear his expression before walking over. "One of the kids from the daycare?" he asked, arms folded. He watched the red’s face, the pink spread across his freckles absolutely entrancing.

"Mhmm," Misaki hummed the answer a bit. "He's the broody loner type but...He is a great kid," Misaki told Saru. He grinned a bit, "Reminds me of you a bit."

He clicked his tongue. Broody loner... that was pretty accurate, he hated to admit. "Smart kid. Learning early." He put his things in the basket.

"Don't be so negative..." Misaki grumbled. Under his breath he added, "At least he isn't as picky." Saruhiko rolled his eyes and followed him. He stared at the various vegetables then back at Misaki. "Did you say something?" 

Misaki walked a few more feet to the produce section and began studying a few things.   
"Nothing." Misaki began grabbing carrots, spinach, some apples, some cabbage, and of course, pineapple. "Saruhiko...what do you want for dinner?" He asked.

"I don't really care," he said, eyeing the produce suspiciously. "I thought you weren't cooking for two anymore." The meals together were a rarity at this point.

Misaki's cheeks flushed and he rubbed the back of his neck. "I...hmm...I really don't mind. I cook too much anyway, and if you end up getting sick from not eating enough...Well, it's a pain in the ass," Misaki explained. He noted a few dishes he knew Saru would eat and could stomach.

"Cook what you made when we moved in," he said. "With the meat patties." He thought back to that day, which felt like an eternity ago. "That wasn't so revolting, until I found the vegetables." Misaki rolled his eyes in response. 

"Alright. I'll cook that but you need to eat some fruit at least. Please." Not waiting for an answer, Misaki already began to stalk off towards the vitamins. Saruhiko clicked his tongue and followed him to the aisle. He looked at all the bottles, finding the gummies he bought last time. He reached out to grab them.

Misaki reached forward for the vitamins as well. Warm fingers brushed long, pale fingers, sending electricity through Misaki's fingertips and causing his cheeks to heat up. "Ahhh...sorry."

Saru's fingers tingled as he closed his hand around the bottle. Heat crawled up his neck and he turned away. Swallowing, he put it in the basket. His hand was still tingling; he rubbed it in the other hand, still not looking at Misaki.

Misaki shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around sheepishly. "I guess we should head home then?" he asked after a moment. Saru nodded. He followed Misaki to the registers, watching him pay. The blue hefted two of the bags and walked out of the store, the chilled air biting his nose as he wrinkled it in disdain.

"It's getting chilly," Misaki remarked softly. The air stung his cheeks a bit but he didn't mind all that much.

He nodded. "Soon it'll be winter," he murmured. Soon it'd be November. Then December. Come January, he wouldn't have moments like these, walking in silence. He breathed deeply; he didn't need them. His fingers started to ache in the cold.

"Yea..." Misaki nodded softly. Winter brought with it painful memories. The loss of Totsuka...the loss of Mikoto...winter was a painful season where everything seemed to die except the pain. And worse...he'd be all alone after January. Misaki shook his head and reminded himself he was basically alone anyway.

Saruhiko turned the corner and saw the dorm in the distance. Like it or not, he had grown comfortable living there. Somehow a small space had transformed itself. He opened the door and walked in, warm air hitting his glasses and causing them to fog around the edges. 

Misaki stepped inside and slid off his shoes. It was nice to be back 'home.' Something about this place was comfortable but soon, that would change...He'd be alone again...

Saru set the bags on the counter before going to his desk. He kicked off his shoes and sat down. Grabbing his bottle of water, he unscrewed the cap and took a drink. He watched Misaki put away some of the food and leave other parts out. He stood and grabbed his soap and toothpaste, taking it to the bathroom. 

Saruhiko gripped the edge of the bathroom sink and looked down, steadying himself. Deep inhale, deep exhale. He walked back out and sat at the table, eyes cast down.

 

Misaki turned up the heat a bit before he moved towards the kitchen. He put up most of the groceries except those needed for dinner. Carefully, he started cooking dinner and making sure all of the vegetables were impossible to find in the burgers.

Misaki was moving about the kitchen, frying up food carefully. Once he was finished, he placed half a patty on Saruhiko's plate and provided a tiny cup of fruit. In theory, it wouldn't make him ill. He watched Saru took a bite and chewed slowly. He took another, and a third. Soon, his portion was gone, leaving only the fruit. He drew it closer and looked down, inspecting the contents of the cup. "What's in here?"

Misaki ate slowly. He was satisfied with the fact that Saruhiko had so eagerly eaten his food. "Apples, grapes, and peaches," Misaki assure Saruhiko. "We have strawberries and bananas as well but those are for a different day." He watched Saru take a bite between his fingers and examine it. He popped it into his mouth and chewed rapidly before swallowing. He pushed the rest of the cup away, steeling himself.

Misaki was satisfied with this. Saruhiko had eaten more than usual. It was best for someone on his situation to take his time as he began getting his diet back on track. "Can you do the dishes? I have an evening class,” Misaki asked kindly. 

He nodded, standing and taking the dishes to the small kitchenette. He dumped the fruit into the trashcan and then the cup into the sink. He started the water, waiting for it to grow warmer, and waiting for Misaki to leave.

"Thanks!" Misaki called on his way out of the room. He walked slowly to class, thinking about how peaceful things were. He looked at his hand, remembering Saruhiko's chilled fingers. Saru...he really needed to take better care of himself.

Meanwhile, Saruhiko washed the dishes slowly. Half an hour later they were finished, and he was drying them. He didn't care for dishes, but...he shook his head, putting them away. He was in too deep. Soon. Saruhiko had to tell him soon. Reaction be damned, there was no way Misaki saw him as more than a shitty roommate, a grown adult who could barely take care of himself, as a traitor... there was no way he'd reciprocate. No way. He thought about his hand, how warm it felt, brushing against his own.

Misaki couldn't concentrate at all during class. It was really frustrating him. Everything in his damn lesson about parents manipulating their children reminded him of Saruhiko...He knew that he didn't just want to be nice to Saru just because of his shitty parents but there was no way he....l-l-loved...NO WAY!! Misaki shook his head vigorously.

Misaki left class early and jogged around the campus once. He couldn't shake the feeling from his mind at all and he absolutely hated how he felt like he might die from a heart attack when he was near Saru. Saru was a pain...stubborn, stand off-ish, and rude but he had once been his best friend. And now, like it was the easiest thing, he was falling into a pattern of taking care of Saru. He wanted to do something nice for Saru...his birthday was coming up.

In the dorm, Saruhiko sat at the table before getting up and going to his desk. When was Misaki’s class over? He wasn't sure. He sat down and stared at his blank laptop screen. Waiting for him... his heart pounded. He turned on the device and sat back as it booted up.

Misaki burst through the door, cheeks flushed and a bit out of breath. "Uhm...Sorry...I know-- I'll be quieter..." Misaki immediately expected to get griped at for being noisy. He closed the door and sighed softly.

Saruhiko Fushimi spun around, ready to lash out, but was assaulted with the sight of his roommate, hair disheveled, cheeks flushed and panting. He didn't say anything, finding it rather difficult to speak when his heart felt like it might burst from his chest. He turned back around and ran a hand through his hair. He collected himself and nodded. "Be quieter."

"Right..." Misaki nodded a bit. He walked to his bed and sat his things down. "I'm going to go shower...Don't stay up too late..." Misaki grabbed clean clothes and headed for the bathroom.

His roommate didn't acknowledge his statement. Instead, he busied himself by opening up several programs and starting to type. He was tired, but knew he wouldn't be able to sleep if he laid down. Fifteen minutes later, he was asleep at his desk

Quickly, Misaki showered before stepping out, drying off and getting dressed. When he walked out, he felt a tug in his heart. "Stupid Saru..." he murmured quietly. Stepping closer, Misaki leaned over the desk and saved everything before sliding the laptop closed. He could feel his cheeks heat up from the closeness and turned slowly, reaching for the blanket on Saru's bed.

The taller sighed in his sleep, murmuring his roommate's name. His first name. The one he hadn't spoken since their fight. He swallowed and opened his eyes, blinking. He sat up. How long was he asleep? Why did Misaki have his blanket? Misaki’s cheeks were flushed. He tilted his head, studying the vanguard closely.

Misaki's heart was pounding hard in his chest. He slowly found a pair of blue eyes staring at him. "I---uhhhhh....You'll catch a cold so don't sleep there." Misaki stepped back a bit. Shit. He really felt like he might die.

Saruhiko stood and walked over to him. He was close, really close, and close enough to where he could see the freckles dusted below gold eyes. He gazed into those eyes before taking his wrists in his hands. Misaki's heart jumped into his throat and his breath quickened. He extracted the blanket from tanned hands, wadding it up in his arms. He turned around and walked to the bed. He sat the blanket down before laying on the bed, pulling it around him, taking off his glasses, and falling asleep in an instant.

. As soon as Saruhiko headed for bed he felt...disappointed? Misaki watched the other fall asleep and envied him. There was no way he could sleep so easily...Not with his heart pounding so hard. He stumbled back a bit and moved to lay on his bed. He laid on his side for some time before falling asleep again, for once, not plagued by nightmares.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short. The chapters to come will be a lot longer and I'm sorry if the get filler-y.

For all of the determination Saruhiko had to tell him soon, it always seemed to escape. He was either distracted, more and more by Misaki, busy with work or school, or Misaki would be rambling about something and Saru couldn't get a word in. A few times he tried over dinner, but every time he opened his mouth, Misaki was asking him if his stomach was okay or asking if he had a problem with the food. He never did, and always finished his portions, which were steadily growing bigger.

Before Saruhiko knew it, it was the eve of his birthday. Tomorrow was his deadline. He was up late finishing an essay and watching the clock in the corner of his computer click closer to midnight.

Misaki had been out most of the night. The redhead had wracked his brain all damn month -- what could he possibly do for someone so broody and self-depreciating? He wasn't sure what kind of games Saru liked nowadays or even if he still like them, for that matter. And then one day it had hit him. Saru complained a lot about it...Misaki had worked hard in secret and now there was a gift bag clenched in his hand as he unlocked the door and stepped inside slowly. 

Blue eyes looked up briefly before flashing back to his screen. Misaki getting home late wasn't uncommon; he studied with his friend, still, and had work. The Blue continued typing before looking down at the corner. 12:01. Happy birthday, Saruhiko.

Misaki took a deep breath and moved to his bed. He kicked off his shoes before rustling in the bag. He glanced up, making sure Saru wasn't paying attention. He took another deep breath and moved behind Saruhiko. In one swift motion, he wrapped a royal blue scarf around Saru's neck. It was clumsily knitted but not terribly so. In fact, it was well made for someone with no experience. "Happy birthday...Saruhiko.. I...uh… there's also cake. There's coffee in it...so it's not too sweet..."

He looked down and then up at Misaki. His fingers wrapped around the woven wool. He sniffed it; it even smelled like the redhead. He inhaled shakily before speaking. "This is why I'm falling for you."

"W-what?" Misaki asked. His face turned an even brighter shade of red than when he had to talk to girls. What did he just say? 'Falling?' Was this some kind of joke? He hoped not.

"Forget I said it," Saruhiko rushed out dismissively, neck flushing. "This was really sentimental of you." He ran it through his fingers. Of course Misaki wouldn't reciprocate. Why would he? His heart fell to his stomach. He refused to look at the smaller, reminding himself in a matter of weeks, he'd be gone, and this rejection wouldn't matter.

Misaki chewed the corner of his lip. He felt anger rising in his chest. "S-say it properly...otherwise...I won't believe you...I'm stupid, right? So you have to...tell me properly."

"Tell me what you think you heard," he replied. He turned faced him, long fingers nimbly twirling the scarf around. Blue eyes blinked at the smaller but older male, heart pounding. He stood and watched him, blues gazing intently.

Misaki bounced his leg a bit. He was completely flustered and the pink on his cheeks was slowly turning to red and spreading across his face and ears. "Y-you...ahhh...Did you really...I mean...shit Saru...can't you at least just say it properly? That you're f-f-f-falling for me?"

He exhaled and looked away. Swallowing, he looked at him again. "I'm falling for you, Misaki." He felt...calm. It was easy to say again. "I don't care if you don't reciprocate either. Because I said it and..." He inhaled. "I feel like I can breathe again."

"Stupid Saru!!" Misaki kicked the wheel of his desk chair hard. Tears began to form in the corner of his golden eyes. "You're...so...stupid...Do you realize...forget it...The point is I feel the same...for a long time. I think...but I thought you hated me..." Misaki's voice cracked and he slid to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest and burying his face in them. "But you left....and now...After all this time...?"

Misaki Yata...felt the same? It was like a punch to the chest. Fushimi had never planned on him actually... He banked on the older liking someone else, or falling for Shogo, but never on Misaki liking him. "I don't...I don't hate you," he started. He was crying to boot. What the hell? He had so many questions; he crouched down. "Misaki..."

"Don't look at me..." Misaki mumbled stubbornly. He just knew his face was all blotchy and tear stained...his nose was running. So uncool... Even so, he looked up, slowly meeting Saruhiko's gaze.

He clicked his tongue and kept staring. What did he do wrong? "You're disgusting," Saruhiko murmured, hand reaching towards him.

"I don't need you to tell me that," Misaki sniveled. He wiped his eyes and gave a shaky sigh. "Did I mess up your birthday?" He felt stupid for sobbing and being gross in front of the guy who he liked-- more than liked-- and who apparently felt the same.

Saru put his hand on Misaki's head, running his fingers though his hair. It was soft-- and silky. He kept running his fingers through it, shaking his head. "Stupid Misaki... of course not," he sighed.

Misaki leaned into the other's touch, closing his eyes momentarily and relaxing. His scalp seemed to tingle just from Saruhiko's touch. "I'm glad," he muttered after a moment. Suddenly, his eyes opened again. "So....what...does this make us?"

 

"Beats me," he replied coolly, fingernails lightly scratching Misaki’s scalp. He retracted his hand; the tips of his fingers were tingling. He gazed at Misaki and opened his mouth. He closed it again.  
Misaki hesitantly got to his feet and rubbed at his eyes again. "You should...eat the cake..." Misaki offered a lopsided smile. He felt so happy he wanted to scream.

"I'm tired," Saru yawned, suddenly exhausted. "Can we eat it for breakfast?" He rubbed his eyes and stood. He looked at him. "You're so concerned about that damn cake."

"Of course I am." Misaki looked away a bit and grabbed the box. He was covered in flour and one or two fingers were bandaged. Cooking was one thing-- baking was something else. He carried it towards the fridge. "We can celebrate properly in the morning. For now...you should rest."

He only received a nod in response as Saruhiko walked to his dresser. He took out his pajamas and walked to the bathroom.

Misaki sighed and waited on Saruhiko to change. For once, he went to the bathroom to change. He had done it a million and one times but this was different now...It was completely different. Misaki didn't bother picking up his clothes, he just left them lying on the floor before flopping on his bed and going to sleep.

He came out and laid down. "You too," he mumbled to the already-sleeping form, taking off his glasses and turning over.


	14. Saruhiko's Birthday Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually has a weird cut off because of the editing process so that's why it is part one. Enjoy!

Cerulean eyes cracked open many hours later. He turned onto his side and looked at Misaki's bed. Last night came rushing back to him all at once and he sat upright. Did that really happen?

Misaki was sleeping rather peacefully, his hair a tousled mess. For the second night in a row, he was nightmare free. A moment later, his alarm began blaring and he sat up, rubbing sleep from amber eyes and brushing his hair from his face. It all hit him at once...everything that had been said and his cheeks flourished. "Good morning and...Happy birthday..." he muttered shyly.

He nodded, swinging his legs over the bed. He put his glasses on and looked at him. "Morning," he muttered, rubbing his eyes. Last night... Saruhiko’s heart fluttered.

"So...is there anything you want to do today?" Misaki asked awkwardly. He was 100% new at the dating game and he knew Saruhiko was as well. Misaki got to his feet and stretched, sighing with satisfaction as his bones popped.

"I want to shower," he said, walking toward the bathroom wordlessly. The floor was cold; he grabbed a pair of socks and put them on. "And cake. And then I intend to brush my teeth." His voice was thick with sleep. "Coffee with the cake."

"M'kay," Misaki nodded and looked at Saru as he passed. He felt his heart flutter before moving into the kitchen. As Saruhiko showered, Misaki grabbed the cake and set it in the center of the table. He made fresh coffee for once and set a cup by Saru's side. He set out two small plates and grabbed a pack of candles. Placing the correct number in the cake-- he waited until he heard Saru coming from the bathroom to light the candles using his abilities.

He was towel-drying his dark hair as he walked out and saw the cake lit and Misaki standing nearby. His face warmed; Misaki cared so damn much. He walked over and sat down. "If you start singing I might stab you," he threatened, face and neck uncomfortably warm. He looked at the small flames then at Misaki.

Misaki's eyes lit up and he opened his mouth, purposefully humming the first note of the dreaded birthday song but instead he sat back down. He grinned Saruhiko and rolled his eyes. "Just blow out the candles and make a wish before wax gets all over the cake."

He blew out the candles and looked at him. "Hm, my wish came true," he hummed, resting his chin in his hands. He cut a slice and put a bite in his mouth; the cake was slightly chilled, but overall it wasn't bad. He took another bite.

Misaki's cheeks dusted with a light pink color. "Sh-shut it...before I shove this cake in your face." Misaki placed a piece of cake on his own plate and watched Saruhiko expectantly. He hoped it was good...He had taken forever to decide on something that Saruhiko would eat and it took him four times before making it right. The first time it was burnt, the second time he had been sleep depraved and used salt instead of sugar, and the third time it had gone flat from him slamming the oven door too hard when checking it. The fourth time was a success… He hoped. 

He watched as Saruhiko cleaned his plate, then grabbed another slice. Really good, the birthday boy thought, taking another bite. He sipped the coffee, starting to feel human again. He blinked a few times. "So," he began. "Did we start...? Today?" He trailed his finger along the rim of his mug. "Did we even start?"

Misaki picked at the cake nervously and all but froze at the question. "S-start? Like...uhm....Dating?" Misaki scratched the tip of his nose in embarrassment. It was turning pinker and his freckles were practically burning. "I mean...if you want to? Do you want...our anniversary to be on your birthday?" Maybe you'll be less bitter about it, Misaki thought.

If something goes wrong... Saru thought, anxiety gripping his stomach. It's not like he cared about his birthday, anyway, but the thought... he nodded, swallowing. "Sure," he said. "Anniversary" implying they wouldn’t murder one another before the year was up. "We're boyfriends now." He rubbed his neck.

"Yeah...Guess so..." Misaki whispered. Could they even make it past a month? Maybe...it was like being friends like before...Well, maybe not --things were different now than before. And they weren't kids anymore so dating would be like being friends but hugging and k-k-kissing and stuff...But who got to decide when those things happened? Misaki felt a sense of panic and embarrassment riding in him and making him feel dizzy.

"Don't look so damn happy about it," Fushimi teased, or tried to. It came out more biting than he intended. Shit. If something happened, he'd be moving out in January. Unless...unless... He shook his head. For someone so intent on temporary, he had certainly put himself into a pickle. He couldn't bring himself to think about tossing him aside, either.

Misaki narrowed his eyes before grinning. Scooping up some icing on his finger, he wiped it on Saru's nose and stuck out his tongue. "What's that? There's something on your face!"

He wiped it from his nose, licking his finer. In retaliation, Saruhiko reached across the table and pinched a freckled cheek. "Look at baby Misaki, playing in his food," he taunted, releasing his grip and standing. He gathered both plates and started to the sink.

"What was that!?" Misaki asked with a fake tone of anger. Misaki stood as well, following Saruhiko to the kitchen. He grabbed a clean dish towel and waited patiently for Saru to wash the dishes.

He started running the water. It was decently cold; he waited for it to get warm before submerging the dishes. He scrubbed them and handed them off to be rinsed dried. Misaki carefully rinsed the dishes and dried each off. He reached up, carefully placing each on a shelf. Once the task was completed, he turned off the water and looked at Misaki.

"There...done. And in record time," Misaki said proudly.  
Saruhiko leaned over and pressed his lips to the top of his head. After mussing the copper locks, he walked to the bathroom and started brushing his teeth. He glanced at Saru as he headed to the bathroom. Saru looked over at the vanguard, raising an eyebrow questioningly. "Hm?" he asked around his toothbrush.

Misaki blushed a bit and his heart sped up. After a moment, Misaki's eyes lit up. "Saru-- lets go to the amusement park next week. It'll be cold but...they're decorating for Christmas!" It took a lot of guts but he wanted to propose a date at least once.

He shrugged. "Okay." His heart fluttered; date? He spat and rinsed his mouth out. "Isn't it a little early for Christmas?"

"Maybe but...The lights are nice." Misaki pointed out. He was always intrigued by simple things. It was just in his nature and he was a bit of a hopeless romantic.

"I'll go," the dark-haired man stated. Not even a day in and they were planning dates. Was this a good sign? He hoped so. "Do you want to eat here or there?" he asked, sitting at his desk. His laptop was still open from last night.

"We're going now?" Misaki asked. He couldn't hide the smile spreading across his freckled face. "I think we should go out to eat! It's your birthday, after all."

"Wait, you said next week," he said. Looking at his face, he sighed. "We can go today, if you want to," he replied. He stood up. "Or just food."

"Let's just get food for now," Misaki said after a moment. After all, today was Saruhiko's birthday. He didn't want to force Saru to do anything he didn't want to.

He nodded. "Later though. We just ate," he reasoned. He didn't feel as sick as he would have a month ago, but he also knew cake for a first meal was stupid. He sat back down. "Go back to sleep."

"We just woke up!!" Misaki protested. Saruhiko was so lazy sometimes...honestly. There had to be something they could do like go see a movie or something. He was going stir crazy and he didn't want to be trapped inside – not now that he and Saruhiko were…boyfriends. When was the last time he and Saru had done anything fun together?

"And we also just ate. Why would we go out to eat right now?" he countered. He sighed in defeat after a moment however. "What do you propose we do to kill time?" he asked.

Misaki looked deep in thought. What was nearby that they could do? "There's movies...there's bowling...batting cages..." He wasn't sure what people did on dates!!

"Stop stressing it. What sounds the most appealing?" he asked. Movies didn't sound so bad. But taunting Misaki at the batting cages... "Does Misaki want to show off for his boyfriend?" he drawled after a moment, a smirk on his lips.

"Oh shut up!!" Misaki's cheeks turned bright red and he threw a pillow towards Saruhiko. "Let's just go bowling. You used to suck at it so I'll be sure to beat your ass."

He clicked his tongue and stood. "Embarrassed at that word? Say it Misaki. Boyfriend," he demanded. His own heart pounded when he said it, but he'd never admit it.

Misaki shifted awkwardly and chewed his lip. He rubbed his bicep softly and shifted his eyes to the side. "T-then...let's have our first date...as...b-boyfriends..."

"No stuttering. Be confident, little Misaki," he almost purred. He walked over, trailing a finger under his chin and raising it. A smirk played at the corner of his mouth. "Say it like you mean it."

Misaki shivered softly and his eyelids fluttered a bit. The heat in his cheeks was certainly not going anywhere. "...Pervert boyfriend..." he mumbled stubbornly.

"Good enough," he stated, retracting his hand and walking to the door. He took his coat from a hook and shrugged it on. "Well? You coming?" he asked, wrapping his new scarf around his neck.

Seeing the thing made Misaki feel more embarrassed than ever. He wanted to shout, ‘You're wearing that!?' but he restrained himself. Instead, he pulled on his socks, shoes, hat and coat and moved to catch up with Saruhiko.

"Where's the bowling alley exactly?" he asked boredly, walking down the hallway. He looked over at Misaki whose cheeks were still dusted pink. They weren't distant, but they weren't walking close together either.

"It's about a ten minute walk," Misaki explained after looking deep in thought. Slowly, he moved just a bit closer to Saru. "It a too close for the bus...but it's cold."

"At least one of us thought to bundle up then," he replied. He adjusted his scarf around his neck. Putting his hands in his pocket, he glanced over. "Will you be warm enough in that?"

"I'm perfectly fine," Misaki stated and it wasn't a lie. He had a habit of wearing shorts in winter after all. "I'm pretty hot blooded," Misaki bragged.

"Or you're full of hot air," he retorted. Misaki replied by scrunching his nose up and mocking what Saru said in an annoying voice. He walked beside Saru with his own hands crammed in his pocket. He playfully shoved him before letting the silence take over. He opened the door and walked out, following Misaki.

They arrived in 10 minutes, walking into the warm air. The sound of pins falling over echoed throughout the building.  
Misaki shuddered as his body adjusted to the warmth. He sighed contentedly and walked to the counter. He quickly paid for their shoes and a game before turning to Saruhiko.

Saruhiko clicked his tongue and took his shoes. "You didn't have to pay for me," he said, neck flushing. He followed the smaller man, unwrapping his scarf from around his neck and attributing the warmth of it the building. He took off his jacket and put it in a shelf along the wall, near their lanes.

"You can get me next time. No big deal," Misaki told him. He shrugged a bit before sliding out of his jacket and putting it beside Saruhiko's. The warmth of the building was nice and the sound of bowling bows slamming against pins was oddly relaxing.

They sat down across from one another to put on their shoes. Saruhiko tied them and stood up. "What names are we putting down?" he asked.

Misaki was carefully tying the shoes. They were a bit big but not enough to mess him up. He glanced up for a moment at Saruhiko. "Just put Yata for me...please." He hated his first name so much and he'd rather not have everyone see it.

Fushimi looked at him for a moment before putting down his first name anyway. He put down his and hit enter. "It's not going to go away because you ignore it," he said. "And look. It's not showing the entire name." It only would if one of them got a strike or a spare, he thought to himself. Small advantage.

Misaki groaned softly. He wasn't satisfied with the way things were but that's what happened when he let Saruhiko do things. He didn't need everyone to be on a first name basis with him but...whatever. Misaki stood and moved to pick up one ball and then another. He marveled how heavy some of them were and how others were very light. At last, he picked out a ball that was red with orange flames.

"Let's see if you can still bowl, Misaki," his boyfriend teased, crossing his arms and leaning back. He watched Yata sample balls until he found one he liked; typical. Flames. Could he even bowl with it?

The ball was a bit heavy for Misaki but he was strong enough to handle it. He glanced at the board before sticking his tongue out at Saruhiko. He moved to the lane and shifted until he was where he wanted to be. With a quick movement, Misaki glided his right arm forward harshly. The ball left his hand and flew down the lane. With ease he earned a 7-10 split but...It upset him knowing that a spare was out of the question now.

"Nice split," Saru teased, clapping for him. "Truly a wonder how the bowling master managed that in his first frame." He watched Misaki as he waited for the ball to return. "If you can pick up the spare I'll buy you dinner," he called, smug in knowing it was next to impossible.

Misaki growled softly in response. It was nearly impossible!! Why did there have to be a catch for Saruhiko to buy dinner? Misaki glared sharply at his boyfriend and stepped back up to the lane after grabbing his ball. He threw it at a slight angle. The ball hit one pin before ricocheting and coming close to the other pin but missing by only a half inch. "Oh come on!!" Misaki shouted in frustration.

The blue officer smiled and clapped. "Stunning, Misaki," he said, passing him and ruffling his hair. Misaki wrinkled his nose from being treated like a child. He didn't make a fuss, however. Saruhiko's hand had felt nice on his head...Misaki shook his head and turned his attention back to everything. Saruhiko tried to pick up a ball before deciding it was too heavy. He opted for a lighter one in a shade of gray. He watched Saruhiko carefully; would he get a spare or did he still suck?

He was able to knock down three pins the first time. He grabbed the ball when it returned and rolled it again, knocking down three more pins. Great. He shrugged and walked back to his seat.

"Maybe you'll do better next time," Misaki told him calmly. He patted Saru's arm as he walked past, grabbing his own ball again.

Saru re-crossed his arms and ankles, watching Misaki cradle the ball in his hand and prepare himself. He watched the ball roll down the lane. Misaki was a better bowler, he admitted to himself. His fingers ghosted over his collarbone.

Misaki knocked down six pins and then another three. Mainly, he wasn't great at aiming but he had the right amount of strength in how he handled the ball. He flopped down beside Saruhiko and glanced at him, "Want a drink?"

"Sure," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. He pulled out a few bills and handed them to him. Standing, he shuffled over and picked up his ball. He rolled it down the lane, knocking over eight pins.

"You can get this one!" Misaki called over his shoulder, pumping his fist into the air. He walked off towards the area with concessions, unaware that he was getting ogled by a tiny handful of people. Saruhiko looked over his shoulder at him. He smirked before noticing the people there. Why were they staring? He turned around and picked up his ball again. He rolled it down the lane, knocking over one pin. Ah, well.

It only took a minute or two - thankfully the line was short. He returned with a coffee for Saru and a hot cocoa for himself.

Saruhiko sat back down and took the coffee in his hand, sipping slowly. Misaki shrugged a bit and offered a small smile. The rest of the time he got a few strikes and a couple more spares. Each time he'd just shrug it off and tease Saru gently but always offered encouragement.

In the end, Misaki had won. Saruhiko still wasn't good at bowling. He took the shoes off, wriggling his toes in his socks. He switched back to his regular shoes. Standing, he finished off his coffee.  
Misaki gave a soft yawn as he switched shoes. In the end, he really had shown off for Saruhiko, hadn't he? He grabbed his shoes and threw away the cup that he had long since emptied.

Saruhiko threw the cup away and looked at Misaki. He looked a little tired. He put on his coat and scarf and started towards the door. "Do you want to get food now?" he asked. They'd gone bowling to kill time, and they'd killed about an hour.

"Yea! Where do you wanna eat?" Misaki asked, pulling on his own coat and moving to catch up with Saruhiko. He walked alongside him, a bit closer this time. There were plenty of places close but letting Saru pick out the place was probably best because he was so damn picky about everything.

"I don't care," he replied, jamming his hands in his pockets. "Something simple." His stomach was rolling and he wasn't sure why. He didn't want to risk upsetting it.

"But you do care...you're the picky one after all..." Misaki scratched his cheek with one finger. "Besides...It's your birthday...tell me what you want and if we can't eat it in town then I'll make it for you...”

Saruhikoi stopped for a moment, thinking. "Anything?" he asked, looking at him. He swallowed. "Hot pot. Under... Under a kotatsu," he muttered, looking away and tugging at his scarf. They used to under a kotatsu a lot in the short time they lived together in middle school. It had once been a painful memory...but now he wanted to re-live it. "Or just... fast food," he covered, cheeks flushed.

Misaki's heart fluttered. Where the hell would they get a kotatsu? He looked deep in thought before perking up. "We don't have a kotatsu but we could share a blanket under the table? Let's go get the ingredients!"

"Okay," he exhaled, still playing with his scarf. He followed Misaki closer than last time, pale fingers brushing against tanned ones. He flinched, shock coursing through his fingers. Misaki nearly jumped when Saruhiko's hand brushed his. Their brushed again before he took Misaki’s hand, stuffing the other in his jacket.

Yata didn't miss a beat in giving Saruhiko's hand a soft squeeze as they walked together. It was embarrassing showing affection in public but oddly comforting at the same time. His previously chilled fingertips burned with warmth from Saruhiko's hand on his.

They walked into the store together. Saruhiko loosened his scarf with his free hand. "What do we get first?" he asked, getting a small basket and handing it to him.

Misaki looked around. "Well...I suppose we should pick out meat. I'll get carrots, mushrooms, onions, potatoes...You don't have to eat them. We'll get extra meat. So pick whatever kind you want."

He nodded and followed him. He eyed the chicken and beef, alternating between the two. Beef left a lot of grease, but it wouldn't be bad if he was light on the oil. Chicken had less flavor. And he was sick of it. He picked up two packages of beef.

Misaki eyed the carrots and other vegetables carefully. He picked out the best ones, despite knowing that Saruhiko wouldn't eat them. They would add a pleasant flavor, however, and for that there were specific ingredients needed. And Misaki took quality ingredients seriously.


	15. Saruhiko's Birthday Part 2

He waited impatiently as Misaki debated between two carrots before deciding, then between two onions, and between four potatoes, sighing the whole time. "Are you almost done?" he asked. "They're fine, get the bigger ones. I'm hungry," he complained.

"Sorry..." Misaki muttered sheepishly. Saru's insides curled. He didn't mean to... whatever. 

The redhead carefully placed the necessary ingredients in the basket and trailed off to grab the necessary sauce. He came back and offered a small smile. "Let's go, ok?"

He followed him to get the sauce, then nodded when Misaki suggested they go. "Okay," he said, walking to the register with him.

 

Misaki shifted the basket before emptying the contents carefully onto the belt. He watched the groceries as they moved forward, were scanned, and as the numbers on the tiny screen increased in value. He released a soft sigh when the woman told him the total. He reluctantly handed over his money and waited for his change. Volunteering was nice but a real job would be excellent.

Saru felt Misaki tense at his side and then relax. Was he having money problems? His brow furrowed. He wouldn't ask, because even if he was an asshole he knew it wasn't wise to ask about money, especially with Misaki. He took the bags and started towards the door. He adjusted his scarf around his face, tucking the blue fabric tighter around his nose.

Misaki followed beside Saruhiko, shifting a bit. "Saru...give me at least one of the bags, ok? Your hands will freeze otherwise." Misaki knew all too well how cold Saru got and he wondered if he should've just bought Saru gloves instead.

"It's not much," he replied. "One hand is warm." He softly squeezed Misaki's hand. "I really am fine, Misaki." He started the walk back to their dorm. The cold nipped at his face; he glanced over at his boyfriend. Boyfriend. He relished in the word for a moment. "Are you alright?"

Misaki smiled a bit and squeezed Saru's hand back softly. The cold burned his cheeks and nose, flushing them. When asked if he was alright, he turned to Saruhiko with a confused look. "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"No reason," he lied, looking ahead again. He swallowed and kept walking; the grocery bags were starting to dig into his fingers. He ignored the sensation and kept walking, but it was harder to ignore the numbing air on his exposed hand.

Misaki's own fingertips were getting a bit cold and he stopped. He slowly pried the grocery bags from his hands and set them down. The street was nearly empty and he moved to grab both of Saru's hands in both of his. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the red aura within him. Slowly, their hands began to heat up.

This action earned a soft gasp from Saruhiko who stared at their hands. He savored the feeling of the smaller hands hands around his, of the warmth that poured from them. Before he knew it, it was over. He looked at the smaller male, not wanting to be the first to let go.

Misaki flushed softly and looked away. Slowly, he let his boyfriend’s hands fall to his sides before he grabbed the bags he had sat down. "Let's get home...before you freeze to death."

"I'm fine now," Saru sighed, following him. They walked into the dorm. He took the bags from Misaki and set them on the table. He shrugged off his jacket and set it on the back of his chair. He put the scarf on top of his jacket before sitting at the table. He drummed his fingers on the cool surface. Leaning his head in one hand, he looked at Misaki while he worked, his small, lithe form moving from place to place, face furrowed in concentration.

Misaki tossed his jacket onto his bed and sighed softly. Immediately, he moved to wash his hands and to get out the nabe pot and heater for it.

 

Carefully, Misaki diced up the vegetables first. They would take a bit longer to cook. Next, he put in the sauce before moving to slice up the meat. Saruhiko's gaze almost made him nervous and he didn't know why. Well...okay...maybe he did. He was suddenly incredibly aware of Saruhiko's every movement, of his gaze, of the way he occasionally licked his lips...."Shit!" Misaki accidentally cut the side of his finger.

"Be more careful," he scolded. Wordlessly, Saru got up and grabbed a beat-up wash rag and handed it to Misaki. "You're losing your touch. Can't cut a carrot without hurting yourself." He sat back down, noting how the gold eyes followed him. Hm... Interesting. He licked his lips again.

"Thanks..." Misaki blushed softly and avoided eye contact. He held the rag to his finger until the shallow cut stopped bleeding. He tossed the rag in his hamper, washed his hands, bandaged the cut, and began placing the meat in the pot.

Saru leaned on the table as he focused on Misaki cooking. He was too focused on the food. Something was bothering Misaki, it was clear. He leisurely stretched, arms above his head. As he returned to his slouched over position, he groaned and smirked.

Misaki yawned softly after loading the last of the meat into the pot. He breathed in the beautiful aroma and his stomach growled. Upon seeing Saru's smirk, he tilted his head curiously. "Hmm? What's on your mind?" It was probably something perverted -- at least Misaki seemed to think that all Saru had was perverted thoughts.

"Hm? Oh, nothing," he said. Better to not share. He inhaled slowly, the memories of winters long passed flooding his mind. He tensed. He was so intent on Misaki not worming his way back in, yet... He enabled the petite male to do just that. And he kept on worming. Misaki didn't just tolerate him. His eyes widened at the thought.  
"Something is clearly on your mind," the redhead stated after a few moments of intensely studying Saruhiko. He sighed before scooping mainly meat and broth into a bowl for Saruhiko. "But I won't push you. You'll tell me when you're ready...I suppose." He had learned not to push things in class but he desperately wanted to know...Oh well, he thought as he loaded his own bowl up with vegetables.

 

Saruhiko blew on his bite before popping it into his mouth. Even better than he remembered... Not that he had thought about it much since all those years ago or anything. He set his utensils down, debating speaking until he decided against. He resumed eating, chewing slowly.

Misaki stayed silent for some time, cooling his own bites and eating slowly. Nabe was best in fall and winter, and even better if you weren't eating alone. "Is it alright?" He asked at last. Saruhiko wordlessly nodded when he asked if it was good. Grinning, he added, "Should I add some fruit?" That time...it had been a weird...but not terrible... dinner.”

He glanced at him across the small table. "Yeah, add pineapple," he sarcastically replied. "Pretty sure you'd kiss a pineapple if it wasn't so prickly." He took another bite.

Misaki scoffed at the statement and without thinking before opening his mouth, he retorted, "You're all prickly and I'd kiss you." As soon as the sentence left his mouth he felt like crawling under the table and dying. Crimson moved from the tip of his nose, across his cheeks, all the way to his ears. 

Saruhiko's neck grew warm. He clicked his tongue and looked at him intently. "I hope you'd want to, since we're dating and all." He sipped the broth from his bowl, licking his lips after.

"Shut up," Misaki muttered weakly. He finished his food and gave a soft yawn. They had done a decent amount today and it was rather pleasant. Sure, everyday wouldn't be like this but... It was nice.

"Unless you don't want to. Which is likely considering your virgin state of mind," he drawled before finishing the broth. He had eaten a whole helping. It was mostly meat, but it was a whole helping; Misaki had been scolding him about eating more, and he had.

Misaki rolled his eyes and gently kicked Saru under the table. "That...I mean...when the time is right, I think its okay. But I'm not going to let you bully me into doing it right now," Misaki told him firmly.

"I don't want to," he replied, just as firmly. "Too soon. Later on, maybe--" If we last that long, he thought, "But for now, I'm content with making you squirm." He grinned at him across the table.

"Of course you are," Misaki retorted. A smirk formed on his own features, "You're a sadistic, perverted monkey."

"Am I really?" he inquired. "When was the last time I drew blood?" He knew the answer. "The incident cutting vegetables earlier doesn't count."

Misaki ran his fingers over his right shoulder absent-mindedly. There was still a deep scar...but it hadn't been deep enough to destroy the use of his arm. Blue eyes watched his hand, his fingers running over his upper arm. He tried to forget that, among a lot of other things, but here it was again. 

"Hmm...Perhaps 2 years ago...a bit longer? I'm truly proud of you, you're making progress," Misaki smirked and clapped sarcastically.

He clicked his tongue. "What are you, a therapist?"

"I intend to be." Misaki hadn't even realized that he had been talking like one. Not even a year into his program!! He supposed it was to be expected...Saruhiko was a bit messed up but they both were.

Mystery solved. "So you're getting your bachelor's in Child Psychology," he said, fingers tracing the rim of his bowl. "And your masters in a similar field, I suppose." Quite a bit of schooling. Where would he get the money? Loans?

Misaki rubbed the back of his neck as it grew hot again. He nodded in defeat after a moment. "Yeah...I can't help the adults I know," he said, giving a sad look to Saruhiko across the table, "But I can help kids...and that means a lot."

A tongue click came in response. "You think you can't help the adults you know," he muttered. He sighed, standing slowly.

You won't let me, Misaki thought to himself. He stood as well and gathered the dirty dishes. Washing them seemed like a hassle but it'd smell worse later of he didn't do it now. Saruhiko walked to the sink with him. He leaned against it, looking at him as he started the water.

He shifted and looked away. "So you don't merely tolerate me." Perfect way to start the conversation, Saruhiko.

"You think I'd agree to date you if I only tolerated you?" Misaki arched an eyebrow. He couldn't hide the smirk creeping onto his features.

"Maybe," he responded, trying to sound nonchalant, cheeks pink. "I don't know how your mind works. Why are you laughing?" he asked, tone going from blank to accusatory.

"Because," Misaki grinned mischievously, "You were worried about such a stupid thing."  
"It’s not stupid," he retorted in defense. He lightly scratched at his collarbone. "Wipe that smirk off your face."

"You're pretty stupid sometimes," Misaki argued with a goofy grin. He scooped up some of the dish soap bubbles and flung them at Saru.

The taller man leaned away from it, dodging with wase. "Not nearly as stupid as you," he retorted. He scooped the bubbles from the counter and rubbed them in his auburn hair. "For example, trying to fight someone taller than you."

"Just because you're taller--" Misaki reached over and turned off the water before splashing some at Saru and tackling him to the ground, "--Doesn't mean I can't win!! Ne, Saru~ are you still ticklish?" Misaki grinned devilishly.

He dropped to the floor with a thud. He looked at Misaki, eyes widened. He tried to wiggle away. "N-no," he stuttered. "I haven't been in a long time."

Misaki gave a crooked grin and pressed his fingers against Saruhiko's sides, wiggling them a bit. "Is that so!?"

"Misaki--" he choked out, tossing his head back and gritting his teeth. He covered his face with his hands, face flushing.

Misaki laughed triumphantly and continued to tickle Saruhiko. He didn't care if he was acting like a kid...Truthfully, he wanted to hear Saru laugh. He hadn't heard a genuine laugh, not in the heat of battle, in a long, long time.

A quick, barking laugh came out. "Misaki..." He whined. He didn’t like his laugh. He hated it. His dad called him a howler monkey before he had learned to shut down his emotions.

"Haha!!" Misaki's eyes softened a bit and his hands fell to his sides. Having achieved his goal, he started to move off or Saruhiko. Burying his face in his hands, Saru didn't move. 

He sighed. "Misaki..." He rolled onto his side.

"What is it?" Misaki leaned closer, furrowing his thin brows in concern. "Saru...don't pout...I like your laugh...."

"I don't," he groaned, sitting up. His cheeks were flushed, hair mussed and glasses askew. He exhaled. It felt good to be close to Misaki, but he wished he hadn't tickled him.

Misaki laughed softly and reached up. Careful not to hurt him, Misaki fixed Saruhiko's glasses before slowly getting to his feet. "I'll do the dishes. Why don't you go relax?"

 

Saru nodded and stood. Before Misaki turned around to do the dishes, Saru ran a hand through his ginger locks. He crossed to his bed and sat down. Leaning against the wall, he watched him as he washed and dried the dishes.

Misaki didn't mind it taking longer without Saru helping. His mind was wandering elsewhere. He felt happy right now...euphoric. But how long would it last? He hoped it would but...were he and Saru really a good match? He probably just made Saru miserable. Everything felt right. It was right to talk so comfortably. It was right to hold hands. His fingers felt like they were being electrocuted when he touched him. But when would Saru grow tired of it all, as he had with Homra years earlier?

Misaki quickly dried his hands on a towel and tossed it aside. He flopped down on the bed beside Saruhiko. "Want to watch a movie or something?" he asked calmly.

"What movie?" he asked. He crossed his ankles and looked at him. "Animated movie for the little kid, Misaki?" he teased. "Or do you want to try a scary movie? Redeem the haunted house experience?" He remembered Misaki hadn't asked for his one thing, yet.

"I'm not a kid!!" Misaki snapped. He glared up at Saruhiko before sighing loudly. "Just pick something...I can handle it if it's a scary movie. It's not real or anything," he huffed proudly.

Saru jumped a bit when he snapped at him. He was only teasing... he looked away and crossed to his desk. He got his laptop and moved back to the bed. He turned it on, setting it on his lap and logging in. "I'll find a movie then," he said. He clicked on a video streaming site and browsed. He bit his lip as he searched for a promising title.

Misaki moved closer, his shoulder pressed to Saru's arm and their knees touching. "Say Mr. Government Worker, is this site legal?" Misaki teased. He grinned a lopsided grin, knowing the answer.

"Say Mr. Skateboarding Hooligan, mind your own business," he replied, clicking on a link. "This one came out in August, it was really hit and miss," he said. "Let's see how you handle it." He clicked play. The side of his body was comfortably warm. Was it too soon to hold hands with him again?

"I can handle it just fine," Misaki argued stubbornly but in a nonaggressive tone. He stared for a bit at Saruhiko's hand. Chewing his lip, Misaki gently placed his hand palm-up on Saruhiko's knee, giving him the ultimate decision.

He waited a moment before deciding he wasn't just stretching his hand or something. He took the smaller hand in his, lacing his pale fingers through Misaki’s calloused ones. Misaki sighed contentedly. He felt happier than he knew how to describe from just the feeling of his tanned fingers laced with Saruhiko's long, pale fingers. 

He watched the mist on the screen. And the young woman running away, panting heavily. Misaki rolled his eyes a bit. Why couldn't she just take off her stupid high heels?

He leaned his head to the side as she fell. In the clip before, she was in flats...but now she was in heels. Shitty editing. He furrowed his brow.

Misaki made a noise of discontent at this. "Surely everyone has time to change shoes when they're running from murderers," he joked under his breath. Instead of a monster or murderer showing up on screen, the speakers boomed and the title screen came from nowhere. Misaki flinched a bit at the cheap jump scare.

Saruhiko clicked his tongue as he lowered the volume. He didn't need his speakers getting blown out from a horror movie. The camera panned over a house. It was cloudy. Saru wondered if Misaki could stomach this movie.

The majority of the movie relied on jump scares. Misaki quickly adjusted to them after the third or fourth time of squeezing Saru's hand too hard. What really unsettled him however were certain audio affects used to 'mimic' ghost sounds.

Saru didn't mind the squeezing of his hand. A few times were a little rough around the edges, but overall it wasn't unwelcome. He leaned his head on the smaller shoulder, sighing. "This movie is lame," he murmured. Just then, a white fog zoomed across the screen. Was that supposed to be the ghost?

 

Misaki gritted his teeth but he didn't jump. It was easy to ignore his fear when he was concentrating on the warmth and weight on his shoulder and his own heart pounding in his ears. He leaned his own head against Saruhiko's. Around the last twenty minutes, Misaki began to nod off, comforted by Saru's presence.

He could feel his head twitching and jerking, but he didn't say anything. Not until one particularly violent jerk did he murmur, "Maybe it’s time for bed." He made no effort to move. He didn't want to leave the warmth, but his Misaki needed sleep.

"Hnmm?" Misaki asked sleepily. He blinked his eyes open slowly, rubbing them. He didn't want to move either. He stayed like that another couple of minutes before slowly pulling away. "Get some sleep..." he mumbled.

He rubbed his hand after the other pulled away. "You're the one who fell asleep during the climax," he mumbled. Standing, he turned off the lights. He crawled between the sheets, discarding his glasses, before a thought struck him. He enjoyed his birthday. For the first time in ages, he didn't absolutely hate the day. It had always been a chore, but that day... it wasn't.

Misaki didn't bother climbing under the covers. He flopped down on top of them and instantly fell asleep. About an hour later, he was having a nightmare. He mumbled softly about ghosts and shifted in back and forth in his sleep.  
He was tired, but Saruhiko could not for the life of him sleep. He stared at the wall for what felt like ages. Mumbling... was Misaki talking in his sleep? He rolled onto his other side and squinted in the dark.

"Gonna get me..." Misaki muttered, flopping onto his left side again. His legs shifted and twitched and he gripped the pillow tightly before throwing it on the floor.

Nightmare, again. He swung his legs over the side of the bed. Padding to his side of the room, he gently shook him. "Misaki," he mumbled. "Misaki. Wake up."

Misaki felt something grab him and he swung his arm back to try and push whatever it was away. He pressed closer to the wall in his panic, panting as he did.

Saru jumped back as he swung. He kneeled on the bed and continued to shake him. "Misaki. Wake up." He noticed how he was trying to get away. "It's Saru. I'm not going to hurt you."

Misaki couldn't for the life of him wake up. All he knew was whatever was chasing him was grabbing at him. He grabbed back this time, determined to drag whatever it was to the ground. Misaki's gripped Saru with more strength than usual and tugged him down with a grunt.

Blue eyes widened as he was yanked down. He struggled against his grip--how was a shrimp so strong!? He called the other’s name softly "Misaki! Misaki Yata, wake up!" He was trying to fight him... so if he didn't fight, he might wake up. "You win. Quit fighting me, you've won," he said, squirming in his grasp.

'You win,' It said. Misaki relaxed a little at a time. The presence around him suddenly felt warm...familiar. Cheap shampoo but a very specific smell of mint body wash surrounded him. Misaki didn't fully wake up but he recognized that he wanted to be near the person next to him. "Stay..." he mumbled, well, pleaded.

Misaki had finally stilled. Saruhiko exhaled, relief flooding his body. Misaki's grip on him loosened a bit. He flexed his wrists a bit. Misaki wanted him to stay? He nodded before realizing Misaki was still asleep. "Of course," he murmured in return. He adjusted their position so it was less "in the throes of fighting" and more...cuddling. Any tension left in Misaki's tiny form melted away. His arms wrapped around Saru and he buried his face against Saruhiko's chest, comforted by his heartbeat.

He rested his head on top of red locks, eyes finally shutting. Saruhiko fell asleep quickly, into a dreamless sleep. A few times he was stirred awake, but he always just tightened his arms around Misaki.

Truly a wonderful birthday…


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted all of these chapters up before the New Year but I slacked off a lot. Sorry that things are moving slowly right now.

Misaki slept quite peacefully, comforted by Saruhiko's embrace. He only began to wake up when the sun was streaming through the curtain. He groaned softly before opening his eyes. His heart felt like it might explode when he realized the situation.

Misaki's groan stirred Saruhiko awake. He scowled as the brightness bore against his eyelids. However, he was quite comfortable, a welcoming smell enveloping him. Cheap body wash and shampoo mingling together. He cracked his eyes open. Misaki's own eyes looked back at him.

Misaki's heart was pounding hard in his ears. He wanted to sit up and scream from the situation but frankly, he was quite content. "How did you...Why are you in my bed? Perverted monkey...."

"You had a nightmare. I tried to wake you up. You tried to fight me. You finally gave up, and then asked me to stay," he explained. "I'm the pervert?" he asked. "I didn't groan when I woke up," he teased.

"I-" Misaki's face flushed and he had half a mind to shove Saruhiko on the floor. "That's because I can't feel my arm!!" It was currently trapped between the bed and Saruhiko's side. "If I'm the pervert then...can you explain where your hand was just now!?" Okay, it was on the small of his back but it may as well have been his butt for argument's sake.

"Your lower back," Saruhiko deadpanned. "I just woke up. I don't have control of my limbs when I'm asleep, unlike someone. But if it's bothering you..." He trailed off. His hand ghosted up his back and into his hair. "There," he sighed. He was so content like this. "You're so warm," he murmured. He buried his face in the soft red hair.

"You're always so chilly." Misaki tensed when his toes touched Saruhiko's. "Brrr...you're always so cold."

"All the better for Misaki to warm me up." He gently brushed his hair with his fingers, encountering a few small knots. He sighed, exasperated. "How did your hair get tangled if you were on your side all night?" he asked.

Misaki leaned back a bit into Saruhiko's touch. "Hnm...well sorry my hair doesn't have so much product in it that it's stuck that way," he teased.

"My hair doesn't that much product," he countered. "I can't have it getting in the way while working."

"It doesn't move!" Misaki teased, poking a crunchy strand of hair. "How much do you even spend in hair gel?"

"Shut up," he murmured. "It’s hard to cuddle you when you're instigating." He nuzzled his head, fingers smoothly going through now-knot-free hair. It soothed him to touch the ginger strands.

Misaki chuckled softly and nuzzled against Saruhiko's shoulder. "Sorry, sorry..." he muttered softly. His own hand ran soothingly over Saru's shoulder.

Saru could have fallen asleep again, he was so comfortable. And he felt so rested. It was the best sleep he had in a while; but falling asleep would mean not being awake to appreciate Misaki next to him.

Misaki smiled and opened his mouth to speak. His stomach growled loudly instead. "Hnm...I don't wanna get up," he whined.

Saru clicked his tongue. "You need to eat something," he scolded. He thought for a moment. "What breakfast foods do we have?"

"I think we have....bagels...we might still have eggs...ham..." Misaki couldn't remember what all was in there. He usually shopped at the end of the week.

"Nothing quick," he finished for him. He hummed for a moment. "What kind of bagels?"

"There's blueberry...and regular ones...Also strawberry cream cheese, blueberry, and original," Misaki told him. He liked variety and he knew Saru would eat bagels without a fuss.

"Still not motivated to move," Saru exhaled. "You're warm. The dorm isn't." Misaki was also soft, but he had a hunch telling him that would end with him on the floor.

"We can turn the heat up, you know? You just need to ask me." Misaki made no effort to move. He didn't want to get up either.

"Or we could just stay like this." He hadn't cuddled anyone before, but this...this was nice. "Am I not allowed to touch the thermostat?"

"You'll make it 80 degrees in here," Misaki complained. He snuggled closer to Saruhiko's chest and sighed happily.

"I'm sorry I like it hot," he replied. "Unless you like cold toes?" He pressed them to his shins, sighing as they wiggled across his skin. "So warm..."

Misaki shivered and laughed. "Stoppppp...You'll be freezing no matter what we put the thermostat on," Misaki told him. Saruhiko was just always so cold...And Misaki was hot blooded to say the least.

"I'm not freezing right now," he said. "Maybe you should heat the room."

"Why am I the one who has to get up?" Misaki complained. He sat up slowly, not wanting to leave Saru's embrace. He shivered a bit...the room was colder which meant one thing. He peeked out the blinds a bit. "It snowed..."

Saru sat up. Snow? "How much?" It was a little early for snow. It was always a little early, especially now that he had to walk everywhere.

"I'm not a weather man...But it doesn't look very deep. An inch maybe?" Misaki stood and stretched. He walked to the wall and kicked the thermostat up by about five degrees. 

Saru yawned and stretched. "Classes will start getting cancelled when there's more," he said. He felt cold without his boyfriend's arms around him.

"Well..." Misaki rubbed the back of his neck shyly. "I...well in that case, when it gets cold let's drink hot chocolate and...cuddle more, ok?"

Saru nodded in agreement as he stood. Rubbing his arms, he walked to the dresser and pulled out a clean outfit. He walked into the bathroom and emerged again ten minutes later, hair dripping and dirty clothes under one arm.

"You're going to catch a cold," Misaki grumbled at him. He grabbed a towel and began gently rubbing at Saruhiko's hair to dry it. He looked much better like this...less like his dad. But Misaki would never mention it.

"I'm fine," he protested. "If I catch a cold it’s because the room is so cold." He took the towel from his hands and threw it to the basket. Laundry would have to be done soon.

"It's not that cold," Misaki argued. He looked at the laundry basket and sighed a bit. Slowly, he hugged Saru's head to his chest to warm him up a bit.

He sighed, closing his eyes. His glasses, retrieved from his dresser before the shower, shifted on his face. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, relishing in the scent of Misaki.

"Better?" Misaki asked softly. The room was slowly warming up to a pleasant temperature.

Saru nodded, corners of his mouth turning up a bit. He buried his face against Misaki’s chest. He would never admit he was smiling, nor did he want Misaki to see he was.

Misaki held onto Saruhiko a bit longer before pulling away. He smiled a bit. "I'll cook breakfast. Do you want coffee?"

 

Without waiting for an answer, Misaki started the coffee and put a bagel in the toaster. He pulled out the regular cream cheese, deciding to make Saruhiko's food first. Saru watched him move about, leaning his head in his hand. 

Misaki came over with a plate for Saru with half a bagel and some fruit. "Here you go..."

Saru nodded and took a bite of the bagel. He took another bite before nibbling at the fruit. Did he serve him first? He set down his fruit and looked at him.

"What is it?" Misaki tilted his head curiously. He could tell that Saru was thinking hard about something.

"Where's your food?" he asked. "Your stomach was the louder one." He pushed the plate slightly in front of him.

"I'll go grab it now. Don't worry." Misaki smiled a bit and disappeared into the kitchen. He returned with the other half of the bagel and some fruits and vegetables.

"Okay," he said, picking up his bagel and taking a bite. He chewed slowly, looking at his plate. Setting it back down, he decided to try and finish the fruit. He nibbled at it.

Misaki watched Saruhiko with a small smile, feeling especially proud that Saruhiko was eating the blueberries - healthiest of all of them. "I'm just glad you're eating better." 

Saru stifled a yawn behind his hand. "I have to eat something. Someone quit buying my meal bars."

"That's because they aren't real food," Misaki scolded. He shoved the rest of his food in his mouth and sighed a bit. At least Saruhiko was looking a bit healthier not to mention he seemed to be sleeping a bit better and he had more energy during the day. 

"Thanks again, doctor. Maybe I should pay you to be my personal nutritionist," he drawled. He finished the blueberries and started on the last quarter of the bagel. "Then you wouldn't have to worry about money so much."

Misaki froze a bit and laughed nervously. "Worried about money? No way...everything is totally fine." Well...aside from the fact that he didn't get paid to be a street thug and his savings was running out.

"I noticed how you tensed when our food was being rung up at the supermarket," he said. Pushing his plate away, he leaned his arms on the table. "And you're a horrible liar. Your give hasn't changed at all."

Misaki scowled, brows knitting together. "I'm looking for a job right now...so it shouldn't be too much of a big deal...."

Saru leaned back, picking up his plate and standing. "Finished?" he asked, holding out his hand. Misaki nodded, handing his plate to Saruhiko. It felt odd for Saru to be the one to collect the dishes but it was a nice change of pace.

He was trying the whole "be nice" thing, especially since he was Misaki’s boyfriend now. It felt weird, being nice. He dumped the remains-- mostly from his plate-- and put them in the sink. He washed them off and dried them. It felt weirdly domestic. Misaki moved to sit on the floor in front of his bed. For now, he opened his textbook, rifling the corners of the pages as he read. The ambience of the kitchen being messed with was nice. 

Saru walked to his desk with a cup of coffee and sat down. Finals were approaching, then Christmas break. He idly wondered how they'd take the gym final-- run? Play another game of basketball? He shuddered as he thought about it.

Misaki sat silently for some time as he read before looking up from his book. He kept his finger on the sentence he had last read. "Saru, are you going back to...the Blues for Christmas?" Misaki had been wondering for a few moments now. Did those guys even have fun or celebrate holidays?

"Yes," he replied. Munakata always made them stay together for holidays and festivals. "And you're going back to Homra." No question there. It was obvious he was-- wasn't that why he brought it up? He unplugged his laptop and moved to sit on his bed with it.

"H-oh...Yea..." Misaki nodded a bit, seeming disappointed. Of course Saru would go there...and of course, he'd go to Homra. Maybe they'd try to have the Christmas party again...For Anna's sake. Speaking of Anna - with her new "dad" -- what would happen? Would the two clans spend time together? Misaki clapped his hands together, pumping himself up. 

All this Christmas talk... He didn't even know what he wanted, let alone what to get Misaki.

"Let's go out on Christmas Eve!" he declared. It was no secret Christmas Eve was a 'couple's holiday' and Misaki had always wanted to go on a date, at least once, on the important holiday. He'd always get depressed when he and Saru would see coupled out and about.

He looked at him when he exclaimed like that. "Okay," he said. Christmas Eve... it seemed so far away.

Misaki's golden eyes lit up and he smiled brightly. "Thanks! I look forward to it."

Misaki's smile was warm, and it warmed him. He went back to work, feeling considerably more at ease than before. He read faster, typed faster, feeling more relaxed. If things could stay like this...

Misaki sat by himself, working for some time. He wasn't sure why but he felt...needy? Shyly, he got up and moved to sit next to Saruhiko, grabbing his coffee and handing it to him.

The taller paused in his typing to look at him. "Can I help you?" he asked, taking the coffee and sipping. He leaned his laptop screen down a tad, not wanting him looking over his shoulder.

"Hmm...not really..." Misaki muttered. He closed his eyes and leaned on Saruhiko, feeling relaxed next to the other. He wondered what Saru was trying to hide but he was just happy being next to Saru.

Saru scooted closer and kept typing before hitting enter and closing the program. No use filling out dorm paperwork with him so near. "What do you have to do today?" he asked.

"Well I already did my reading but...I still need to do math. What about you?" Misaki asked, looking curiously at the laptop.

He clicked his tongue and set the closed laptop aside. "Nothing, really," he said. "Quit peeking at my laptop," he chided.

"Why? Is there something worth hiding in there?" Misaki asked with a sly grin. He leaned against Saru more, pretending to grab for it.

He grabbed his wrist roughly, then laced his fingers through his. "Government documents," he replied, leaning against him in turn. He squeezed his hand. “Don’t look at them.”

Misaki sighed softly. He somehow felt Saru was lying but for now he would take solace in holding hands and being close to one another.

He rested his head on top of Misaki's, closing his eyes and breathing slowly. "Promise," he murmured, squeezing his hand again.

Misaki squeezed his hand and sighed softly. "Alright. I believe you." he breathed softly. He felt so calm right now and hoped nothing could ruin it.


	17. Chapter 17

Things continued along the same lines. They'd go to class, study, eat meals, and cuddle. The cuddling was nice. Saruhiko was sleeping slightly better at night, not a lot, but it was an improvement from before. Misaki had been sleeping wonderfully, especially on the nights he would wiggle his way into bed next to Saruhiko - using the excuse that the other night freeze to death. 

It was getting colder and colder, reminding them both of the upcoming winter. Saruhiko regularly wore the scarf when he went out. He came back to the dorms one night and started to take off his boots.

Misaki looked up from his textbook when Saru got home. "You're back early," he noted with a grin.

"Class dismissed early," he said, putting on his slippers and walking to his desk. He let his bag fall to the floor as he sunk into his chair.

"Then...lets go on a date to the amusement park. You promised," Misaki pointed out. "But get warm first, ok?"

"It’s hard to warm up," he said, rubbing his hands together. He looked at HOMRA’s vanguard, then away. He wouldn't ask, but he could hint...

Misaki nodded and took Saru's hands in both of his. He focused warmth into his hands before moving to sit on the bed. Misaki pulled Saru to sit beside him on the bed and he sighed softly. He leaned on the other affectionately, helping him get warm.

Saruhiko sighed as he closed his eyes. Warm hands... Warm Misaki hands. A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth before he shut it away, face returning to his normal indifferent expression.

Saruhiko rested his head atop the auburn locks, intertwining their fingers, he sighed. "Share a bed tonight?" he mumbled into the other’s hair.

"I'd love to," Misaki admitted. He was more than happy to be offered such a thing...Not that he wouldn't sneak into the bed anyway.

The taller smirked and curled towards Misaki. He didn't want to move... Misaki was so warm. And smelled nice. But he also knew the smaller man really wanted to go see the lights.

"Are you warm enough now?" Misaki asked softly. It would be too cold to do anything exce[t look at lights and ride the Ferris wheel, but he didn't mind.

"I guess," he muttered, slowly uncurling himself. "But only if you'll do that again if I get cold."

"Of course," Misaki assured him. It was nice...having Saruhiko be open with his feelings - even if it was just a bit.

It was clear he was trying. It wasn't easy-- Saruhiko was ready to be rejected every time he said something-- but he was trying. He noted how Misaki reacted when he was distant. It wasn't pleasant. If he wanted this to work, he was going to have to be more open-- and he didn't want to lose Misaki again.

Misaki took Saru's hand and stood up. He looked excitable and ready to take on the world. "We get to go on a date!"

"Shout it again. I don't think the dorm heard you the first time," Saru deadpanned, standing and putting his boots on. Date... his stomach warmed at the word.

"Maybe I will," Misaki huffed, crossing his arms. They both knew he wouldn't, he was probably the biggest closet case. He didn't want to look "uncool."

The blue rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue before wrapping his scarf around his neck. He grabbed his keys. "I'm ready," he said, jamming his hands in his pockets.

Misaki grabbed his hat and a coat. He also shoved some spare gloves in his pocket in case Saru needed them...they were too big for his hands anyway. Grinning, he opened the door and walked out beside Saru.

Saruhiko walked in the hallways silently, looking ahead. "Am I going to have to stop by an ATM?" he asked, opening the door and walking outside.

"You don't have to...I have a bit of money," Misaki told him. Okay...he didn't have a ton but it was enough.

"You paid for bowling. I'll pay for this," he insisted. Wasn't this how it worked? He walked closer to Misaki, causing their shoulders to brush. 

"Thank you..." Misaki whispered with a small smile. He took a deep breath before wrapping his arm in Saru's elbow.

Misaki had a spring in his step as he led the way. Saru glanced at him before looking forward again. It was cold and quickly getting dark. He followed the other’s lead, silence hanging comfortably between them.

It was only about a ten minute walk and the redhead didn't seem to notice the cold-- or mind. They were just turning on the lights in the park as the two once-enemies arrived. Misaki looked on in awe, a grin forming on his face.

Saru looked at him, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. He looked to the lights as well; the work that went into it... It was making Misaki happy, so it had to count for something.

The way the lights moved and flashed was mesmerizing to Misaki and made him feel at ease. Grinning, he grabbed Saru's hand and dragged him towards the Ferris wheel, breath visible in soft puffs as he walked.

Saruhiko clicked his tongue as he was pulled along. Impatient Misaki. "What's so special about the Ferris wheel?" he asked at last. 

"We can see everything from up there. Don't be a party pooper!" Misaki scolded. He tightened his grip on Saruhiko's hand and pulled him along faster. The line was short and they were ushered on quickly.

Saruhiko paid for their ride. He was barely able to get change before he was dragged into the cold carriage. He shivered softly. 

"Want to sit together?" Misaki offered. Before waiting on an answer, he moved carefully, thankful they were still low to the ground as the tiny pod rocked a bit. He sat beside Saru and leaned against his taller form.

He nodded, grateful for his warmth. His hand found Misaki's again; he softly squeezed it. Leaning against him, he sighed contentedly.

Misaki sighed, looking peaceful as he laced their fingers together and gave a soft squeeze. The carriage moved upwards slowly, swaying a bit. As it moved closer to the top, Misaki's amber eyes grew wide. Everything...looked so small. The world inside the carriage was all that mattered - all that seemed real and large and worth something. He turned to Saruhiko, looking excited. "Look! Everything's so little!"

Saruhiko looked at Misaki. It was just them. No one else, no worries, no interruptions with homework or phone calls... It was their own world. Again. And now, no one could take it from him-- from them. Misaki’s eyes were alight, filled with wonder and amusement. Life was breathed into the Blue again. His stomach flipped when he realized how much he had missed seeing him like this. He turned to face Misaki, fingers from both hands reaching to cradle his jaw. Softly, he pressed his lips to Misaki’s.

Misaki didn't resist. Everything felt so natural as the car moved to stop at the top, letting people below off. His head tipped back gently and placed a hand over Saru's, returning the kiss gently. Some people said their first kiss was disappointing but this...this was like everything Misaki wanted it to be. He felt the fireworks exploding in his brain, his heartbeat pounding throughout his body and he was very aware of Saruhiko's breath against his lips.

Misaki was returning the kiss... his lips were soft and warm against Saru’s, not chapped at all despite the bitter cold. His lips moved against the ginger’s as his heart pounded in his ears. His fingers pressed into his smooth, freckled cheeks. He broke the kiss for a moment before going for another. Misaki's long lashes fluttered softly, catching Saruhiko's deep blue gaze as he swooped in for another kiss. Misaki obliged, eyes sliding shut again as their lips met for a second time. Despite the cold, he felt warmth spreading throughout his body. Saruhiko didn't register is as first kiss for either of them; no others would have mattered, anyway. Nothing could replicate this feeling.

"Misaki," he exhaled, catching his lower lip between his own. His eyes stayed open, watching Misaki and his reactions.

Misaki's cheeks were a deep red and his breath was visible in short puffs. The soft nip at his lower lip made him squirm but it wasn't unpleasant. "Hmn?"

He didn't say anything else. He merely took the hand Misaki didn't havehold of and put his fingers in his hair. He didn't move to bring him closer; he just wanted to feel his fine, red locks between his fingers. His kisses were languid, relishing in every moment.

The redhead didn't even feel the cart begin to move again. He was too caught up in returning each languid yet passionate kiss from Saruhiko. His scalp tingled and his heart pounded hard. It wasn't until they reached the exit point of the ride and the tech cleared his throat that Misaki realized they were still in public. He jumped a bit, cheeks flushed as he pulled back slowly.

Saruhiko pulled away at the small noise. He glared at the tech as he licked his lips. He stood, taking Misaki's hand. He brushed by the man and off the ride, dragging Misaki along.

Misaki barely had time to think before he was up and dragged along by Saruhiko. His smaller legs struggled to keep up, "S-saru...Wait a minute...You don't need to hurry..." Misaki felt embarrassed but for some reason...he didn't feel ashamed as he thought he would.

The taller came to a halt under an arch, lights changing slowly between red and blue. His breath came in short puffs. What had gotten into him? He looked at Misaki, color high on his flecked cheeks and lips still damp.

"Saru..." Misaki's thin eyebrows knitted together in concern. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. He looked up at Saruhiko and gently touched his pale cheek.

Saruhiko’s fingertips went to his own lips. After a moment, he looked away. He... he craved more. He wanted to get away to get more, but would Misaki mind...? Misaki couldn't tell what Saruhiko was thinking. He could be so odd sometimes...but watching him touch his lips...Did Saruhiko feel the same? Was he wishing they could have kept kissing?

He took Misaki’s hand from his cheek and gave a small nod. He held the smaller hand has he walked towards the main attractions again. Misaki squeezed Saru's hand softly and stayed silent as they walked together. His mind was racing.  
"It wasn't bad," Saruhiko finally spoke up, "For a virgin." He let a smirk grace his lips as he looked at Misaki from the corner of his eye. He squeezed his hand, wondering if he'd get yelled at about his comment in a public space.

"Shut up," Misaki grumbled softly. He gently kicked the back of Saruhiko's leg - not hard enough to hurt him but enough to tell him that he was serious.

He playfully shoved Misaki with his elbow. "It was enjoyable," he conceded. His stomach dropped again as he waited for his reaction.

Misaki blushed softly and elbowed back. "Yea...I thought so too. Where to now?" he asked.

He wouldn't mind going on the Ferris wheel again but wasn't about to admit that. He thought for a moment. "If you're cold we can get something warm," he said, tugging his scarf around him. "Other than that, it's too cold to do much else."

"Let's get some hot cocoa and then head home," Misaki stated after a moment. It was getting cold and he was worried that Saruhiko might get sick if they were out too long.

Saruhiko nodded and took his hand. He walked alongside him to a stall that was selling hot chocolate and donuts. He looked at him. "What do you want?" he asked, pulling out his wallet.

Misaki shoved his hands in his pocket, praying they would warm up a bit. He looked at the list of items for a moment, deep in thought. "Hot chocolate and...a strawberry donut."

He nodded as they waited for the line to move. He walked up to the window. "Two hot chocolates, one small and one large, and a strawberry donut," he said, putting down a bill. He waited for change; when he got it, he pocketed it. He stepped to the side to wait.

Misaki stepped to the side and waited with him. He was rather content at the moment. Well...he was more than content. He felt like he was on cloud nine and he didn't want to come down. After about a minute, they were handed their drinks and Misaki's donut. He thanked the employee, and then Saruhiko.

He clicked his tongue before taking a sip. It was warm. That was all that could be said, really. He walked in silence towards the exit alongside Misaki. He took a sip again; his glasses fogged and he grumbled.

Misaki walked close to Saruhiko, watching his breath. His right hand was warm from the hot cocoa and using his left hand, he nibbled at the donut. "Want any?" he asked.

He shook his head. "No." He took another drink. They were getting closer to the entrance; a few of the lights were flickering.

"Suit yourself." Misaki shrugged a bit before scarfing down the rest of the donut. He sipped the hot cocoa, careful not to burn himself. It was a bit too sweet but it was pleasant. He looked at the cup...holding it in both hands would keep him warm but...He shifted the cup and took Saru's hand in his.

Saruhiko’s heart jumped; looking straight ahead he laced his fingers with Misaki’s. He took another drink before tossing the drink in a trash bin. He had only had half of it but that was all he needed.

Misaki gulped down the rest of his own hot cocoa, ignoring the way it stung his throat and stomach. Despite having made the first move for once, his heart fluttered and he gave Saru's hand a soft squeeze.

Misaki’s small palm was warm and it was better than any glove;long, pale fingers tightened around tanned ones gently, as if to make sure it was real. He started down the sidewalk, wondering if Misaki had fun. After all, it was his idea.

Misaki stared up at the lights. Feeling Saru's hand wrapped around his was enough to make any doubts in his mind disappear. He cared about Saru.more than he could put into words and he knew the feeling was mutual. Snow was just began to come down in small flakes and Misaki stared up in wonder. Suddenly, and idea hit him and he grinned. "Saru! Take a picture with me!"

"A picture?" Did he even have a camera on him? He looked at him in confusion. "What for?" He vaguely noticed the snow falling around them; a few flakes stuck to Misaki's fiery hair. His pale fingers twitched at his side

"B-because..." Misaki shifted awkwardly. "Just give me your phone, okay?" It was a special day. They had been on only one date prior to this but today was different. This wasn't Saru's birthday, it was their first real date and also the first time they kissed.

He reached into his pocket and took it out. He put it in Misaki’s outstretched hand. "Fine. But make it quick. I'm cold." He stood and shifted as he watched Misaki.

"Don't be such a grump," Misaki scolded. He took the phone and held it up, switching it to the front camera. He grinned and leaned up, kissing Saruhiko's chin and snapping the picture right then. His own cheeks were flushed from cold and embarrassment.

He was too shocked to react; he had been looking down at Misaki curiously. He took the phone from him and saved the picture. "Virgin Misaki doesn't even know how to kiss," he teased, pocketing his phone and pressing a quick kiss to Misaki’s lips. He took his hand and continued walking.

"Oh shut up," Misaki grumbled, though laughing a bit. He squeezed Saruhiko's hand tightly and shoved his free hand in his pocket, sighing happily.

Misaki seemed happy. He wasn't actively complaining, and he was even...affectionate. Fear seized Saruhiko’s heart for a moment as he wondered if he'd be the one to mess it up. Most likely, he thought to himself. He squeezed back, though, because for the moment he was happy with Misaki. He could honestly say he was.

Misaki was surprisingly quiet on the way home. He was lost in his own thoughts. Would something happen between them? Would something happen between the Blues and HOMRA...But another thought nagged at him - what to get Fushimi for Christmas.

Saruhiko swiped his keycard and opened the door. He followed Misaki inside, taking off his glasses and wiping the resulting fog off on his jacket. 

Misaki shivered once inside the room, taking a moment to adjust to the warmer temperature. Hesitantly, he let go of Saruhiko's hand and slid his jacket off.

Saruhiko curled his hand and looked at it…It felt so empty. He took off his boots and left them by the door before hanging up his jacker. He flicked on the light and straightened himself. "Misaki," he said, standing behind the petite male.

Misaki slid off his shoes and tossed them in the direction of his bed. "Hmm?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at Saruhiko.

Pale lips pressed against his forehead and hummed for a moment. Walking past the Red, he sat down at his desk and put his phone on the charger. He looked at him. "Hm?"

Misaki blinked a bit in confusion. Such an endearing gesture...It made his heart flutter and he didn't completely hate hearing his first name. He moved to sit beside Saru, on the aforementioned's bed. "You said my name...What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," he lied, looking at his PDA and the amount of messages left to him by his colleagues. It'd be a miracle if they could function for one day without needing to ask him something. He started on responses as he watched Misaki from the corner of his eye.

"You're a bad liar sometimes," Misaki stated simply. He flopped back on Saru's bed, folding his arms under his head. He stared at the ceiling, feeling tired but beyond happy. Just thinking about the night about their kiss...it made him want to yell from happiness.

Saruhiko sighed, clicking his tongue. Damn Misaki... he sighed and stopped typing for a moment. "That implies I was lying," he said. He looked at him with an eyebrow cocked. "Are you accusing me of dishonesty?"

Misaki rolled onto his side, propping himself up with his elbow. "And if I was?" he challenged with a playful yet mischievous grin. "Something is on your mind..."

"You are," he stated plainly, finishing up the reply and sending it. He downloaded one attachment and sent it to his computer. "Do you want to order pizza?" he asked.

"Sure," Misaki said. He wasn't going to fuss over it not being healthy. It sounded good and frankly, he didn't feel like cooking tonight. "I'll let you order this time...so it's not 'the shittiest pizza ever'"

"Okay. Then I'm in charge of the toppings too." Three more attachments went to his laptop. Another requiring his signature. He made a mental note to print that one later. He set it down finally and looked at Misaki "What are you doing on my bed?"

"Hmmm? What's it look like? I'm laying here, of course." The bed was comforting...it was close to Saru and smelled like him too.

He looked through his phone and dialed the number for an acceptable pizza place. He gave them their address and started the order. He finished and confirmed the total. Setting the phone down, he crawled onto his bed and sighed. "Why my bed?" he asked, looking at Misaki.

Misaki scooted over, allowing more room as the other slid into his own bed. At the question, his cheeks flushed softly. "It’s close...to you."

Saru’s heart thudded at that and he smirked, propping himself up on one elbow. "How times have changed," he murmured. "Who would have guessed..." he continued, brushing his fingers through red hair.

"Shut up, ok?" Misaki mumbled without any venom. He sighed happily, nuzzling against Saruhiko's hand. "You're the one who sends mixed signals..." he muttered, pouting.

"I send mixed signals? Do I need to remind you of how half the campus thought you and what's-his-face were dating?" he asked. "It doesn't get more mixed than that. And quit muttering."

"I'm just a friendly person!" Misaki argued. "Besides...you're the one who up and leaves and then turns around and gets mad if I so much as blink in the direction of someone else. Don't you think that's a bit mixed?" he challenged.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied smoothly. "Are you calling me the jealous type?" he inquired. "And that you wouldn't get jealous if you saw someone making eyes at me?" he murmured near Misaki’s ear, lips ghosting over his lobe.

Misaki shuddered softly, feeling his ears turn pink first before warmth spread to his cheeks. Damn...why were his ears so...ticklish? He pushed Saru lightly, glaring at him. "No..." he lied. "But I trust you."

"0 points. You're a bad liar," he said. "So you would get jealous. I wonder what that looks like on you." He hummed and caressed the blazing, freckled cheek. Saru trusted him-- oh, did he trust him-- but there was always the nagging line of doubt that someone better would come along and swoop his wild crow away.

 

"I'm only a bad liar when it comes to things I care about..." Misaki stated stubbornly. He leaned into Saru's hand, closing his eyes, red lashes casting tiny shadows on his cheeks. "Hopefully, you won't get to see me get jealous," he said at last.

"Who knows?" he replied. "Anything could happen." He kissed his forehead and laid back down. His thumb stroked Misaki’s cheekbone as he gazed at him.

"Hmmm...I guess so," Misaki stated, laying back down as well. His gaze caught Saru's and he held it, searching those blue eyes for anything that could give even a hint as to what Saru was thinking.

He was pretty good at masking his thoughts and feelings. Years of practice, wrought from necessity, gave him this ability. Even now he was on guard. Their bubble could pop again, and then where would he be? Misaki was searching him. His blue eyes followed golden orbs.

Misaki knew Saruhiko well enough. Nothing seemed to be bothering him...other than perhaps the tiny hunger noises coming from his stomach. Giving up but feeling daring, Misaki leaned up, ready to steal a kiss when the door was knocked on. He closed his eyes and started to meet him, but the bubble was popped. Defeated, Misaki flopped back on the pillow with an annoyed sigh, moment interrupted and ruined by pizza.

Just like he had predicted. He clicked his tongue and sat up, scooting around him to get up. He walked to the door and paid for it. He got a very generous tip, mostly because Saruhiko was too lazy and impatient to wait for change. He set it on the table and walked back over. "Pizza can wait a moment," he muttered, leaning down and tenderly kissing him.

Misaki leaned up, meeting Saru as his eyes fell shut and he kissed back.

Safe. That was the word to describe how Saruhiko felt while kissing him. He sighed as he pulled back, eyes meeting Misaki’s. He was already used to it. He swallowed and kissed him briefly before standing straight and walking to the table.

Misaki felt secure just being near Saruhiko but kissing came naturally. It wasn't as embarrassing as the redhead had imagined. In fact...it was almost addictive. Once Saru had broken the kiss, he slid off the bed and headed for the kitchen to grab plates and a drink for each of them.

Saruhiko opened the box and looked at the pizza. Even how it looked was more appealing than the last one they got. He took a plate from Misaki and pulled out a slice. The toppings threatened to slide off.

"It's astonishing how an adult doesn't even consider getting vegetables," Misaki remarked in mock-amazement. He picked up his own slice, sliding it onto his plate carefully.

"I thought about it, then remembered I hadn't been nagged at enough today and had to remedy such a thing," he replied, taking a bite. "Enjoy the free food."

Misaki rolled his eyes and threw a sausage piece at Saru, hitting him on the nose with it. "Thanks for the food. I'll be sure to nag you plenty after I eat." He ate a bit faster than Saru, now that his mental status was getting better, eating was a lot easier.

Saruhiko rolled his eyes and ate the piece of sausage once it fell to his plate. "You're the adult here? You just threw food at me," he pointed out. "Do I have to get you a safety spoon and bib next?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Misaki remarked with a soft snort in amusement.

Saru snorted. "I take care of enough children in Scepter 4, I don't need to babysit my boyfriend too," he replied. Since he was so calm about saying it, he wasn't being lewd-- which was a relief. He took another bite and chewed.

"Yeah, that's my job, right?" Misaki swallowed another bite of pizza. "Babysitting my boyfriend?" Misaki was the older of the two and certainly not the most mature but he at least had a caring soul and that was a lot.

"I don't think the babysitter should kiss his client," he replied. "And you don't babysit me, either," he stated firmly.

"Then what do you call what I do?" Misaki retorted. He cooked for both of them, he often did laundry, the dishes, and he even held a job.

"Old habits," he replied instantly. "I've tried to wash my clothes but you always butt in. It’s a miracle I even do the dishes-- sometimes."

"Old habits die hard. But I wouldn't complain if you did the dishes more. It’s just that if I don't do the laundry, you wait until last minute and then rush to finish it. And then your work shirts get ruined." Misaki remembered Saru's frustration at a light-blue dyed shirt,that had once been white.

"It’s adorable how much you care," Saru cooed, putting up a sarcastic front. "They're nothing to replace. No big deal." The inconvenience was there, but it was a small price to pay.

"I care because I-" Misaki's face heated up and he shoved the rest of his food in his mouth. After chewing and nearly choking, he swallowed hard. "You'd save money if you would just do it right and in a timely fashion."

"You care because you what?" he asked, finishing his slice. He waved his hand dismissively. "Forget the laundry. Finish your sentence." He leaned forward.

Misaki shifted a bit, cheeks on fire and bright red. He turned to look at the wall. What a fascinating wall... Was now even an appropriate time to say things like that? Was it too early? Would it just run Saru off...such a serious thing to say. Saru smirked at him. "It must be pretty interesting if you're so red right now," he said, scooting to him. "What's on the little virgin's mind, hm?" he purred, kissing Misaki’s tense jaw.

Misaki squeezed his eyes shut, laughing a bit. "Stoppp," he whined, pulling away. "It's very interesting...I guess...but I'm not sure if I should tell you."

"Is it a secret?" he asked, kissing him in the same spot; teasing Misaki was far too enjoyable. He gathered the vanguard into his arms, pizza forgotten.

"Totally," Misaki retorted, sarcastically, laughing a bit. He leaned against Saruhiko affectionately, brushing black strands from his face.

"Then why don't you tell me?" he asked. He quietly appreciated the touch. "You trust me, right?" he asked, craning his neck to look at him.

Misaki shivered again, feeling his cheeks warm up again. "I trust you." He reaffirmed with a small nod of his head, red locks brushing against Saru's cheeks.

"You're still not telling me," he muttered against Misaki’s neck. "Is it dirty then? Are you a pervert?" he asked, hands finding his and squeezing.

"If anyone is being a pervert, it's you," Misaki told him. He squeezed Saru's hands before shifting in his lap. He bit his lip for a moment before taking a deep breath. Finally, he blurted it out. "I love you. And that's why I care."


	18. Chapter 18

The look on Saruhiko's face...it was both priceless and terrifying. Had he fucked up? Definitely. Shit. Shit. Shit. Red a-fucking-lert. Abort mission.   
Saru froze. Love? His breathing turned shallow against his neck. Love. He swallowed as he tried to regain his composure. A few minutes passed. "S-Since when?" he asked, voice strained. Misaki caught him completely off guard, and he couldn't find a way to raise his defenses in a timely manner. He looked at him, blue eyes wide. Misaki scrambled to get up off of Saru's lap, laughing in that nervous-obnoxious way he did when he was forced to talk to a girl. "Ahahahahahaha. Ahahah. Hahaha. .. Forget it, okay?"

 

"Misaki." He grabbed his arm. "For how long? Tell me," he pleaded. He swallowed and looked at him, eyes desperate. "Pl-pl-please." Misaki was tearing down his defenses with no effort. "I can't forget this. Tell me." He felt so...unguarded. If Misaki was going to hurt him, now was the time. It'd be so easy.

Misaki's heart swelled and pounded hard. He wanted to yell at Saru, tell him he was stupid for not noticing. Misaki was an open-book...how could he not? Blushing darker and nodded, he sat back down, this time, beside Saru. "For a while now..."

"How long is a while?" he asked. He took Misaki’s hand and looked at him. Was this...love? Being so open? Everything was screaming at him to run, grab his coat and get to anywhere but here, but... But... Him. It was always Misaki. He was keeping Saru here.

Misaki squeezed his hand tightly. His other hand brushed along the back of his neck, rubbing nervously and fiddling with the short red hairs there. "I don't know...like...a long while. And then I thought it went away but every time I saw your stupid face...and then I got stuck here with you and it just...came back..."

"Pineapple fried rice," he murmured. "Right?" His collarbone itched; he scratched at it lightly, remembering the moment he left all too clearly. When he swore he was done. When he swore there was no more. How wrong he was. The pain in Misaki's eyes at that moment were burned into his memory, in addition to the look of pure hatred he had after.

"Maybe..." Misaki looked deep in thought. "I didn't want to say it because...I know about your parents...and how you feel...but...you need to know, okay?" Misaki gathered every ounce of courage in his body and placed his hands on Saru's cheeks, kissing the tip of his nose. "I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against his. He put his hands over Misaki’s as he thought. "I love you too," he said. Swallowing his pride, he continued. "And I have for a long time."

Misaki felt like he just might cry about hearing those words from Saru but he kept it in. He could cry about it later. For now...just being like this was enough as he engraved this memory into his heart, along with every memory - good and bad that he had made with Saru. "How long?" he said after a moment.

"Pineapple fried rice," he said again. "When I was sick and you still came over. You almost cried when you found out they had never cared for me when I was ill…" He thought for a moment. "Your friend cornered me about it last month. Telling me I should tell you. I thought I had convinced myself it was nothing by that point. Then you came again with that scarf..." he trailed off. Their bubble wouldn't be popped now. This was just the two of them-- only them, only ever them, in their own world.

"Of course I came..." Misaki told him. He smiled a bit at the memory and his own naiveté at the time. "I was convinced that it was just sad that you had no one to care for you...but it was more than that...I felt like I HAD to, you know? And then I...said some hurtful things...And then Shogo asked me out and I think it finally hit me...I'm pretty stupid, you know? I won’t know things unless you tell me…" Misaki laughed a bit and his voice cracked as he choked back a tiny sob of happiness. "So...So I started looking at things in hindsight...And it was around that point...or maybe before it."

"You are pretty stupid," Saru agreed, kissing him softly. "Look who you fell for." Hurtful things? Saruhiko was the king of hurtful things. His fingers went to Misaki's shoulder, prodding at where he knew the scar was. "Someone who stabbed you... can your taste get any worse?" Someone who abandoned Misaki, at that.

Misaki kissed back and placed his hand over Saru's, knowing he felt guilty. "Yeah...my taste is pretty bad but it could be worse..." You're nothing like your dad, so that's something.... he thought to himself. "You stabbed me because we were fighting, I've attacked you too...so it's fair."

"Bruises fade. This hasn't," he said, thumb pressing into his scar. "But I'm not saying stab me, either," he clarified.

"It hasn't but...It's just a scar." Misaki was covered in small scars. He had been an accident prone, rough and tumble, kid. Granted, this was a pretty nasty scar because he had refused real stitches which had probably been needed...But it was a reminder of Saru...in a morbid sort of way.

"Just a scar," he repeated. "Oh, Misaki, it’s so much more," he said, kissing him again. And again. It was dizzying to be this close, both physically and emotionally. He brushed his fingers through his hair. "So much more."

Misaki kissed back lovingly, once. Then twice. "Then...what is it?" Misaki asked softly. He knew that it could be seen as a lot of things but...it was before all of this...so it didn't matter.

"A close call," he whispered. "How many times had I actually hit you?" He tilted his head towards Misaki’s and slowed the kisses. He was savoring them; he closed his eyes. 

It’s not like he would have bled to death from such a thing...Misaki couldn't help but to feel special because of Saru's worrying though. His own eyes fell closed as he kissed back slow, purposeful.

Saru brushed red locks back from his forehead. The soft hair was smooth under his fignertips. One arm wrapped around Misaki’s lithe waist, fingers drumming against his side; Misaki brought his arms up slowly, wrapping them loosely around Saruhiko's neck. One hand rested on the back of Saru's head, fingers tangled softly in black tresses.

Were they making out? Saruhiko swallowed a groan at the mere thought. He hummed for a moment before experimentally rubbing his small hips, his other hand leaving his red hair to do so. A small shudder ran down Misaki's spine at Saruhiko's touch as he sighed into the kiss. Before Misaki could force the sound down, the smallest of breathy moans passed through his lips and brushed across Saru's.

That noise. He made it. Misaki made it, while Saruhiko was touching him. He shuddered and kissed him with purpose, hungry for more of those sounds.

Misaki invaded his senses. His mind focused on the fingers fingers were curled in his dark hair with just enough tension to make it pleasant. His smooth skin, hips beneath his hands. He wanted... he wanted to try something. He parted his lips and prodded his tongue against Misaki's lips, his smooth, enticing lips, and waited. 

It had almost caught him off guard the way Saruhiko's kiss became more heated...Misaki could barely think about anything other than Saru...The way Saru's hands felt...the smell of his body wash and the way he pressed closer and oh god -- was that his tongue!? Saru really was a pervert but...Misaki was too. He couldn't deny this as he parted his lips, allowing Saru to deepen the kiss.

He felt the smaller jump slightly, but opened his mouth against Saru’s. He groaned and tasted the inside of the redhead’s mouth, a hand resting on his thigh. 

Misaki tipped his head back a bit, careful not to shift much and trying, desperately, not to bump noses with Saru. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears but otherwise, his senses were overloaded with only Saru. Daringly, his own tongue brushed against Saru's, noting the odd but not unpleasant taste of coffee.

He whispered Misaki’s name against his lips as he ran his hand along his thigh. He was the only one on Saru’s mind, heart, tongue, and all of his senses. Yata Misaki tasted sweet, like his naïve personality had manifested into a flavor. It was fitting.

"S-Saru..." Misaki murmured. Regretfully, he pulled back just a bit, cheeks dusted with a soft rose color. "Uhm...your phone...its buzzing..."

He clicked his tongue and scowled. "This had better be pretty damn important," he muttered darkly. He rose and walked to where his phone was. "Fushimi. Yes. I was eating dinner. Yes, that's why I haven't replied. This wouldn't be an issue if you were competent enough to figure this out on your own, Domyouji. I don't care. I'll reply when I'm done eating." He hung up and pinched the bridge of his nose, shakily sighing.

"Man...those guys are even less organized than us," Misaki observed with a grin. "You're third in command but they'd fall apart without you."

He looked away, neck burning. "I'd rather they harass me and do it right than do it wrong without asking me," he said. "And you shut your mouth." He sat next to him again, closing the box of pizza.

Misaki chuckled softly, stretching his arms above his head and sighing happily. "Now why would I do that?" he asked.

"Because otherwise I might stick my tongue in it again," he quipped, facing him and smirking. "Not that you'd mind."

"Wh-who wouldn't mind!?" Misaki barked out, clearly embarrassed. "Just eat your food..."

"I'm full," he said. "Do you want another slice?" He offered up the box to him, contents sliding about on the inside.

Misaki stared for a moment at the box and then nodded. He took the box and grabbed one last slice, eating it quickly.

"I won't take it away, dummy," he muttered, smirking at Misaki as he stood. He put the box in the fridge, rearranging a few containers as he did so. "We're low on coffee again," he called over his shoulder.

"Maybe you should slow down on the caffeine then," Misaki retorted. He finished his pizza and stretched, sighing a bit.

"Did you say something?" he asked, standing and stretching. "All I heard was this roaring in my ears." He sat on his bed and leaned against the wall. He crossed his legs and looked down at Misaki.

"I said you're a jerk," Misaki retorted. He chucked a pillow at his head playfully. He couldn't help but to grin.

"I'm your jerk," he taunted, grabbing the pillow and throwing it back. It felt so natural. "You're stuck with me."

"I would hope so." Misaki caught the pillow and wrapped his limbs around it. "Hey...what do you want for Christmas?"

 

"If I told you, I wouldn't be surprised," he said. "Isn't that the point of a present?" His hand curled in the sheets next to him. He hoped Misaki would come sit next to him. Speaking of Christmas... what did Misaki want? He really had no idea. Money...? Most likely. A new coat?

Misaki groaned in frustration. Wasn't one surprise enough? He shifted a bit before getting up and sitting next to Saru, leaning against him a bit.Saruhiko sighed and wrapped an arm around his waist.

Misaki placed his hand on Saru's, lacing their fingers. Saru was the practical type mostly...and he didn't seem to play games anymore. He had a coat- a nice one to boot. Money was impersonal...Damn...this boyfriend thing was hard to do properly.

He nuzzled his head against red hair, inhaling slowly. Misaki was so soft. Everything about him was soft, despite the front he put up. He sighed contentedly into his neck.

Misaki sighed in unison with Saru. He stayed quiet for a few minutes before glancing up at him. "Can I sleep over here tonight?" It just felt nice...being close to Saru.

"Haven't you done so for the past week?" he asked, pressing a kiss to his neck. "Do you even need to ask at this point?"

"I just wanted to make sure," Misaki told him. Things were different now. They had kissed...quite passionately. Would these lead to make-outs in the dark or...a bit more? He wasn't sure he was ready for that last part. There would be certain rules established for where Saru could touch him and how, if need be.

"Are you sleepy now? Because I have emails to reply to," he said. He could answer them in bed, but he didn't know if he had gotten any more paper work in the past day. He didn't want him seeing that, if possible. Something told him it wouldn't end well.

"I'm tired," Misaki admitted with a yawn. "But I can just lay here while you answer emails. I could probably use the study time anyway," he said.

"How are your grades?" he asked, making no effort to move. Misaki wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, but if he at least turned stuff in on time he wouldn't be too bad off.

"Math is iffy...as usual...my classes for my major are pretty good...gym is great...science is..." It was also iffy. He had taken one of the harder science classes but it was way too late to switch now.

"Do you need a tutor?" Saruhiko asked. His core classes were tedious and the classes related to his major were almost rudimentary. He wasn't having problems.

"Do you even have time for that?" Misaki asked. He looked genuinely concerned. There was no way Saru had time...none at all.

"Is any of that your concern?" he asked. "It wouldn't be consistent tutoring but it'd be something." Three months ago he wouldn't have cared (as much) if Yata flunked out, and here he was, offering to tutor him.

"It's my concern if my boyfriend intends to work himself to death," Misaki told him sternly. He shifted a bit before nodding though. "Sure. I'd like that."

"We can start before bed. Go get your homework," he said, nudging him. While he worked things out, he could reply to emails and fill out paperwork.

Misaki grumbled in response. He didn't want to do math before bed. Begrudgingly, he moved to his side of the room and began shuffling through things. It would take a few minutes to organize things, decide on the books he needed, find his calculator and notes. A good five minutes passed before he dropped the things on the bed.

Saru sat at his desk and opened the laptop. "Get organized. It'll help," he said, printing off blank papers related to a strain. He filled out the information he was provided before putting it in a folder. He moved all dorm paperwork to a folder marked 'Et Cetera.' He spun around in his chair. "What are you doing in class this week?"

Misaki flipped to a chapter in his book that was covering cosines and other things. It wasn't complex but it wasn't easy either. He just couldn't understand math that well. He pointed to it as Saru leaned down

"To find these, you have to divide them by each other," he said. He took a pencil and drew a triangle. "They have parts-- this is the opposite, adjacent and hypotenuse. Adjacent is next to the angle. Following?" he asked.

Misaki scooted closer and listened carefully. He watched Saru write out numbers and mark the sides of the triangle. "Yeah," he stated after a moment.

"To find the cosine, divide the adjacent by the hypotenuse." He gave him the pencil and waited.

Misaki nodded and began scribbling notes on the page. It took a bit but he was able to find the right answer.

"There. That wasn't so hard. Tell me if you need help again. I have work to do," he said, going to his desk. He started typing.

"Alright..." Misaki whispered. He laid back down on Saru's bed as he tried to do homework. After a few minutes, he allowed his eyes to slide shut softly. The sound of Saru's typing lulled him to sleep.

Saruhiko kept working for the next few hours. Name-- Fushimi Saruhiko. Age-- 20. Preferred roommate accommodations--none. Pets-- no. He was allergic. He finished the form and questionnaire and printed it off. He stuck it in a folder and slid it under his laptop. He popped his neck and scooted away from his desk. Living together was a strain on Misaki. He felt he had to do everything-- cooking. Cleaning. Laundry. Errands. Maybe it was for the best they live apart. He spun in his chair and clicked his tongue. Speaking of Misaki-- he was asleep. He was supposed to be doing homework. No wonder he was struggling in class. He moved the books from his bed and changed clothes. He turned off the lights before sliding between the sheets and pulling him closer.

Misaki had been exhausted. It hadn't taken long at all for him to fall asleep, feeling relaxed near the other. He snuggled close, sighing happily in his sleep as he clung to Saruhiko.  
It was easier to fall into a dreamless sleep with him so near. He buried his face in his neck and inhaled deeply. So nice. Warm, and soft.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait 00 we are back in business and I finally got around to editing! Enjoy!

Christmas was right around the corner...Only a week away in fact. Misaki had hardly been home. He was rushing from classes to the daycare to volunteer to his part time job. He really wanted to get Saruhiko something nice. With how busy he was, he had almost forgotten what time of year it was and the sadness it brought with it. At current, there was only happiness in his eyes as he stood on a step ladder, Shogo holding onto it, as Misaki hung garland around the dorm room ceiling. He and Saru would both be going home for Christmas day but it was nice to decorate for Christmas Eve, since they'd be spending it together.

Between work and school, and working on Misaki's Christmas present, Saru barely had time to sleep or eat. He was certain that without Misaki around, he wouldn’t be eating. On the nights Misaki wasn't as busy, he cooked enough to leave ample leftovers for the week. On the nights between him cooking and when their fridge was bare, Saru got reminders to not eat CalorieMates and at the very least, to get takeout. As Christmas drew closer, he had more free time, and thus could work on his gift to Misaki. Saru wasn't concerned about finals. He knew the material; why should he worry? However, they didn't see each other as often as he would like. Falling asleep with Misaki next to him was something he grew too used to. Often he would be roused awake as he was sliding in next to him, but wake up with the bed empty. It also didn't help that when he saw him, Misaki was pretty damn joyful about Christmas. How could one kid have so much excitement?

"Saru! Look!" Misaki called over his shoulder. He was grinning proudly as he hung up two tiny stars above their door. One was blue, one was red. The light was fully back in Misaki's eyes - he hadn't been this happy since middle school, probably.

It also didn't help that Misaki's friend was there. Shogo wasn't unpleasant, but he was so...nice. Why was he so nice? Saru looked up from his PDA and glanced at Misaki by the door. He was so happy. He couldn't stop the grin until it was too late; he wiped his face and nodded. "Red and blue? I didn't know they made stars in those colors. Did one of your preschoolers make it?" he asked, trying to keep the edge from his voice.

Misaki blushed a bit and nodded. "Mhmm!" Truth be told - a little girl had seen a picture of Saru and Misaki on the latter's phone and had made them for him. Shogo laughed a bit. "Well, I'm headed out you two. Enjoy your holiday!" Misaki waved goodbye as he left, grinning at Saru again.  
Shogo was gone. Saru felt like he could breathe again. He exhaled and looked at Misaki, then around their dorm. It looked like a Christmas tree had vomited all over their walls.

Misaki grinned and flopped down on Saru's bed beside him. "Don't you think it's neat? We won't have time before Christmas Eve to go out and look at the decorated trees on the streets in town but...this is almost as good."

"Because you're so busy," Saru pointed out. He put a hand on top of the smaller’s head. "You've hardly been here to sleep. It isn't healthy," he said. Misaki hadn't lectured him in a while, if only because he wasn't there to. Hypocrisy be damned, the pot would call the kettle black.

"I'm getting plenty of sleep," Misaki protested. Okay, that wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either. Perhaps he had taken a couple of naps in class here and there and maybe lost about 5 pounds again but it wasn't anything concerning.

Saru clicked his tongue. "Do you think I'm that stupid?" he asked. It was concerning. He removed his hand and crossed his arms. "Try again."

"Okay, I admit it, I've fallen asleep a few times in class but honestly...I'm fine." Misaki leaned against Saru affectionately. "You worry too much.”

The blue hummed. "And your eating habits?" he asked. Misaki felt smaller in his arms. He looked away as color dusted his cheeks. Worry too much? Misaki was his boyfriend. Of course he'd worry.

"I'm...I'm eating," he stated glumly. He was trying to justify it but he didn't have a way. He griped at Saru to much to wriggle out of this one easily.

"Misaki," he said, grabbing his tanned wrists. "Is it the time of year?" he asked. It was rare for him to be so concerned--but it was also his Misaki. Saru’s eyes met his, gaze intense.

Misaki's gaze shifted a bit. "Maybe...I don't know...I've just been busy...I haven't had time to be sad," he admitted.

"Then take the time," he said. Saru let go of his wrists. "You've been harping on me about taking care of myself. Take your own advice."

"Th-that's different..." He mumbled. His wrists felt cold without Saru's touch. "Let's go get dinner. Or we can order take out. "

"You're impossible," he said, brushing his boyfriend’s red hair back. How was it different? "Let's order takeout," he said. Saru didn't feel like leaving. And he certainly didn’t want to go grocery shopping.

Misaki nodded and grabbed a menu from one of the drawers. He handed it to Saru, "What are you getting?"

"Something with pork," he said. "I'm tired of chicken and this place's beef is hit and miss." He looked over the menu and put his thumb on what he wanted. "What about you?'

Misaki leaned against Saru, staring at the menu. The former hummed thoughtfully, "Shrimp lo mein, small, and...spring rolls." He yawned a bit, blinking to stay awake. "Want me to call it in?"

The blue shook his head. "Take a nap," he said, pulling out his phone and dialing the number. He laced his fingers with Misaki’s as he listed off what they wanted.

Misaki nodded a bit, squeezing Saru's hand softly. His eyes slid shut almost immediately; his head laid on Saru's shoulder. Closing his heavy eyelids was nice.

Saru hung up and set his phone down. He brushed Misaki's hair from his face, fingers lingering on his jaw. Misaki's lips parted and a soft contented sigh escaped from between them. The small red clansman was exhausted and had already passed out. Working odd jobs like construction had worn him out. He missed being near Saru...missed his comforting embrace.

Saru caressed his cheek and kissed his forehead. Misaki was so tired... He was working himself ragged. A sense of concern overcame him. Why was he doing this to himself? He brushed his hair back and sighed, vowing to ask him when he woke up.

Misaki didn't flinch at all until there was a knock on the door. He sat up with a start, looking around. "Delivery," a man called from the other side of the door.

Saru smiled and got up, wordlessly going to the door and taking out bills. He opened it and handed them to the man before taking the food and closing the door. A nice tip for him. He walked over with the food and set it on the bed. "If I find any food in my sheets, I'll have your head," he said, scooting next to him again.

"I won't drop anything...besides, we could just sleep in my bed until your sheets get cleaned," Misaki replied. He reached for his food, rubbing his eyes with his other hand.

Saru clicked his tongue. "No need to wash sheets if they're never used," he said. He opened his container and inhaled. Vegetables. He moved the pork aside and grimaced. As he thought, hidden underneath the meat.

Misaki took his chopsticks and snatched up a few carrot slices. He wouldn't scold Saru, he'd just eat most of the veggies himself. "You could have told them not to put any in," he commented, shoving noodles in his mouth.

Saru grumbled and ate a bite of pork. "I didn't expect there to be so many," he said. He dumped some broccoli on top of Misaki’s food.

"Yeah...they almost always put more vegetables than meat," Misaki told him. "You should at least eat a few. You don't have to eat all of them though. "

"What's in it for me then?" he asked, moving an onion aside to get to the rice. He chewed the rice slowly.

Misaki pressed a finger to his own lips, pretending to think. "Let's see...good health...better bones...better nails...and not getting malnutrition."

"I have gummy vitamins," he reminded him. If he had those, why did he need to eat vegetables? And nails? Did Misaki pay attention to his fingernails?

Misaki sighed loudly out of frustration. "You're an adult, you should take better care of yourself," he scolded. There was a beat of silence. "Fiiiiine, I'll give you a kiss of you eat the rest of the vegetables," he said at last.

He clicked his tongue and looked at the vegetables in there. Rather disdainfully, he picked up a sliver of carrot and popped it in his mouth. He swallowed it whole. One down.

"You'll make yourself sick if you don't chew," Misaki scolded as he slurped noodles into his mouth.

"It was a small piece," he protested as he ate a bite of pork to reward himself. He tried not to shudder as he heard the redhead slurp.

Misaki rolled his eyes, shoving a piece of shrimp in his mouth and chewing. "You're impossible sometimes, you know?"

"You are too," he countered. He ate an onion and tried not to show any hatred. Once that was done, he ate more rice.

"Mhmm..." Misaki told him. He laughed a bit as he ate more of his food. He scarfed down the entire container in less than ten minutes. He was hungry...more hungry than he had thought he was.

Saru handed him his spring rolls when he finished, about half-done with his container. The vegetables were slow work. He didn't know if he could finish the whole thing, actually.

"Thanks," Misaki told him with a smile. He reached over and swiped a huge piece of broccoli, sparing Saru from it.

He fished out another carrot and chewed it twice before swallowing. Three more veggies later, and three more to go, and he was full. He sighed and looked at his container.

"Don't push yourself. Go ahead and put up the rest." Misaki got to his feet, grabbed the containers of food and headed for the fridge.

"I'm finishing those damn vegetables," he said, rising from the bed and crossing to where he stood. He plucked the container from Misaki’s hand and took out the three vegetables. He ate them without much chewing, then put the container back in his hand. "They're gone," he said.

Misaki didn't even have time to react. He stared at Saruhiko in awe. "You know I'd still give you a kiss. I mean...you don't need to force yourself when you're full, stupid."

"Not only did I prove you wrong, I also get a kiss," he stated with a smirk. He was now uncomfortably full, but only slightly. It would pass.

Misaki shook his head and stood on his toes, leaning up to kiss Saru. Damn monkey really was impossible sometimes.

He cupped Misaki’s chin and met him halfway. It was a short kiss, but not without feeling. He pulled apart and looked into his golden eyes, expression soft.

"Sorry I haven't been home much," Misaki whispered softly. His eyes were apologetic. He just wanted to make sure Saru had a nice enough Christmas present.

"Whatever you're overworking yourself for isn't worth it," he murmured back. He kissed his forehead and looked at him again. "Will you be home for Christmas Eve?" he asked.

Misaki blushed a bit and nodded. "Of course I will. I promised to go out with you. So of course I took the night off."

Saru nodded and kissed his forehead a final time before walking back to his own bed. He stretched and flopped onto it.

"Don't forget on Christmas Day we have that stupid party..." Misaki grumbled. Why did that Blue king think a party was a good idea? He just wanted to spend time with JUST Homra...Though things were different now and by law, his King was that Blue bastard's daughter. He had never seen Saru drink before though...would he drink? That'd be interesting.

"...Right," he said. Shit. He knew there was a party yearly for Scepter 4-- if there was a chance for a party, Munakata was all over it-- but the addition of Homra messed up his plans to give his Captain his dorm paperwork directly. Munakata would want to socialize, so Saruhiko would have to risk handing it to him in sight of a Homra thug. Great.

Misaki was used to the HOMRA Christmas party - it was something Totsuka had arranged a few years ago. Of course..they had stopped celebrating. But now, he had to spend the day with a bunch of stuffy blues. He sighed loudly and laid his head in Saru's lap.

"You know, the Christmas party isn't something I want to go to either," he said. "But attendance is mandatory for Scepter 4."

"I wish we could just stay home and watch movies and drink hot cocoa..." Misaki whined. He really didn't want to do anything but he knew there would be no choice in the matter.

Saru brushed his hair back. "You don't want to spend time with Homra?" he asked. News to him, certainly. He hummed slightly as he brushed his hair behind his ears. It was getting longer, but did he have time to get a haircut?

"I do but...I also want to spend time with you..." Misaki admitted softly. He nuzzled against Saru's lap, shifting a bit to get more comfortable.

"You have right now," he said. "And you'd have more time if you weren't working yourself to death." He swallowed a remark that popped into his head, and a yawn.

" 'm not working myself to death..." Misaki protested. He covered his mouth to stifle a small yawn. "I'm just...I quit work next week. I should have enough by then."

"Enough?" he asked. "Enough for what?" He looked down at him. Misaki wasn't spending his money. He was saving it. That was a surprise. Saru slid away and walked to his dresser. He put on his pajamas as he walked to Misaki's dresser. He tossed Misaki his and walked back to the bed.

"If I tell you, it ruins the surprise." Misaki pointed out. Saru had been insistent on being surprised, too. He gratefully caught his pajamas and tossed his shirt to the floor. After kicking off his pants, he quickly slid on his pajamas, yawning softly.

So Misaki was working so hard for him. His comment from earlier, about what he was working for not being worth it, flashed through his head. He turned off the lights and climbed into bed, pulling Misaki against him and wrapping himself around him.

Misaki didn't protest one bit. He shuffled closer against Saru. He had nearly forgotten how natural and calming being like this felt. He placed his hand on Saru's side, sighing with content. "Love you..." he mumbled.

"Love you too," he said, kissing him goodnight. He took off his glasses and laid them aside. Misaki's warm skin felt nice against his. For the first time in a while, they were going to sleep at the same time. Saruhiko had missed it.

Saru was cold but not unpleasantly so. Misaki buried his nose against the other’s shoulder bone and fell asleep almost immediately.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really long fluff, building up to the final two chapters.

Saruhiko slept through the night peacefully. He forgot how much better he slept when he was with Misaki. Inklings of doubt about moving were creeping into his mind when he woke up. He blinked twice and patted the sheets next to him.

Misaki had rolled away just a bit, lost in a dream that was neither good nor bad: Tatara Totsuka was a man of many hobbies, few of which had stuck around. However, Misaki recalled, there was one particular tradition that had stuck around in HOMRA and that was spending Christmas together – as a family. In Japan, Christmas –moreso, Christmas Eve- was a romantic holiday meant to be shared with one’s lover. But Totsuka would have none of that. Not long after they had taken in Anna, Tatara had become fascinated by Western culture. 

“Christmas in America,” he began, “Is a celebration of family and gift giving. It’s a holiday to be spent together. As such, I think we should spend it together! We’ll exchange presents and decorate the bar and-“ Tatara was walking around, gesturing excitedly. Clearly, this was a big deal to him but not everyone was into it.

“We’re decorating which bar exactly?” Izumo hissed from behind aforementioned bar, where he was taking inventory of the remaining liquor. 

“Man, I already made plans with my girlfriend,” Chitose whined. Rikio nodded in agreement; he had made plans as well. 

“You…won’t spend Christmas with us?” Anna’s voice came from beside Rikio. It was soft and still unsure but the promise of all the beautiful red lights and ornaments was enough to win her over. And of course, if it’s what Anna and Tatara wanted, Mikoto Suoh was bound to follow. 

Rikio ran a hand through his short blond hair and sighed, “Alright, I’ll spend it with you guys. I’m sure she’ll understand if it’s for Anna’s sake.”

“What do you think, Yata-chan?” Totsuka’s voice started fading as there was a slight tapping against the bed and then along Misaki's back. The redhead’s eyes fluttered open slowly and he became aware of the wet warmth on his cheeks. He had been…crying? How many years had it been since HOMRA had started that tradition? It was quite a few. Things had changed…Totsuka was gone…as was Mikoto. Things were very different, he noted as he shifted closer to Saru, hoping the other wouldn't notice he had been crying.

Saru scooted closer and wrapped his arms around him. He went to nuzzle his cheek but...it was wet. His eyes cracked open; he peered down curiously at his boyfriend. "Misaki," he said, voice still thick with sleep, "Are you crying?" He extracted one arm and propped himself up on his elbow.

Shit. He had been caught. Misaki shook his head stubbornly. "I'm not crying..." He muttered. Well, he wasn't crying anymore...so it mostly wasn't a lie. The little bit of water this lie might have held was immediately thrown out when he sniffled a bit.

"Misaki," he sighed. He laid back down and pulled him close again. "Don't lie to me. Why are you crying?" he asked. What else should he do? He brushed through his hair with his fingers.

Misaki buried his face in Saru's shirt, gripping it softly in his hands. "Just a dream...it wasn't a bad one necessarily."

"Mmhm. What was it?" he asked. Not a bad one? He was crying and clinging to him like a lost child. He knew his dreams could get worse-- he'd seen them get worse-- but this dream still had to have been pretty nasty.

"I just had a dream from when Totsuka-San and Mikoto-San were alive..." Misaki explained. "Remember when Totsuka decided we'd all spend Christmas together? You were there still...well we have a party every year...except the last two. So...doing it without them seems..." Wrong? Lonely? Sad? There were too many words.

"The world hasn't stopped since they died," Saru pointed out. That was rather harsh. He shifted slightly. "And what would Totsuka think if it stopped altogether?" That was slightly better.

Misaki knew that the world hadn't stopped, dammit! He should've known Saru couldn't understand or care...He had almost pulled away before Saru spoke again. He sighed loudly, "I know...it's just hard, ok? I know...you don't care about them but...they were important to Homra...and me."

"I know," he murmured. He knew all too well, just how important Homra was to Misaki. "And what about your King?" he asked. "She experienced loss too."

"I know...even if it's painful...Anna wants us to do this so...we'll do it." He felt stupid for crying about it but he couldn't be strong all the time...which frustrated him to no end.

"If selfless Misaki can't do this for himself, then at least do it for her," he said. He felt awkward for this. He wasn't one to dole out advice, let alone sympathy. Or was it empathy? He didn't know. All he did know was that he had a lot to learn. Saru wiped away the tear tracks on Misaki’s cheeks with his thumb.

"I'm trying..." Misaki whispered. "Don't tell anyone I cried or I'll beat you up..." Misaki scolded softly, placing a hand on Saru's.

He hummed. "Yes, Misaki, I'm going to go to Homra right now and tell everyone you cried," he said. "Idiot Misaki," he muttered, kissing his forehead.

Misaki nudged Saru's shin lightly with his toes. "Go to sleep, stupid Saru."  
He smiled in the dark. "I've graduated from stupid monkey?" he asked. "What an accomplishment."

"You're still /Saru/ but you're my stupid monkey," Misaki stated. He changed the inflection on the two words Saru (his boyfriend) and saru (a monkey) as he spoke them. He leaned up and kissed his chin.

Saru sighed and smiled as he wrapped his arms tighter around him. "Shut up and go to sleep," he said into his hair.

"Fine." Misaki huffed. He fell back asleep without a fuss or a bad dream. Saru was oddly calming and made it easy to sleep until his alarm went off 3 hours later at 6am.

He groaned when the alarm went off. Did he have to get up early? Or leave? He wrapped his arms around him and sighed. Saru didn't have a final until two hours after Misaki had to leave for work.

"Saru...Lemme up..." Misaki mumbled against his chest. Saru was holding onto him rather tightly. "I need to shower."

He mumbled something incoherent back and loosened his grip. He rolled onto his back and blinked. Could he fall asleep again? Doubtful.

Misaki sat up and planted a kiss on Saru's lips. "I have to go shower then go to work. Need anything?"

You, he thought. He squinted and shrugged. "Too early," he said. "Come back to bed," he finally said, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands

"If I could I would...but I have to shower before work," Misaki protested softly. He was probably clean enough…and he took a shower the day prior…but if he climbed back in bed, he'd probably follow asleep immediately.

"Go shower," Saru conceded at last. "Hair feels better when it’s clean," he said, turning to face the room, rather than the wall. He closed his eyes and drew the blankets tighter around him. It still felt better to have Misaki there, though

Misaki nodded and headed for the bathroom after grabbing clean clothes from his dresser. He stopped by the bathroom door and turned the thermostat up for Saru before exiting to the bathroom. He showered quickly, knowing that if he did so, he'd still have an hour and a half before work, and he could spend more time with Saru.

Saruhiko was in sleep limbo, somewhere between consciousness and dreaming. He registered the sound of the shower but felt like he was floating. It was a weird sensation.

 

Misaki showered as quickly as possible. He neglected to dry off his hair as he pulled on clean clothes. Quietly, he snuck back to the bed and weaseled between Saru and the outer edge of the bed.

He felt the bed creak and shift and he opened his eyes. Misaki was there. Saru scooted closer, arm draping over his side.

"I'll stay a bit longer," Misaki told him with a soft smile. He instantly scooted closer to Saru and pressed against him.

He went to bury his face in his neck but was greeted by wet hair. He clicked his tongue and moved his head. "You're all wet," he whined.

"Just my hair," Misaki countered. He grinned a bit and pressed his wet hair against Saru's neck.

"It's cold and wet," he complained, trying to wiggle away from his head. He put his hand on Misaki's forehead in an attempt to distance the soaking mop from any part of his body.

Misaki laughed softly. "I wanted to hurry back to bed," he informed Saru. Misaki didn't care if he got sick from not drying his hair, not that he would.

"Good thing you're on your own pillow, then," Saruhiko mumbled. He wouldn't mind if his pillow smelled like Misaki, but he definitely did not want his pillow to be wet. The blue brushed Misaki’s hair from his face and scooted closer again. "Much better," he sighed.

"I'll have a pillow named 'Saru' in a sec if you don't be nicer," he teased. He wrapped his arm and a leg over Saru, making sure he couldn't leave him.

He clicked his tongue. "I am being nice." He hummed and kissed his jaw, smirking slightly.

Misaki blushed softly, shifting a bit. "That tickles, Saru..." He complained quietly.

"Good," he said, continuing to pepper his jaw with kisses. One hand went to his side; his fingers danced over it, trying to find his tickle spot.

Misaki gasped in surprise and started laughing and squirming. "Saru! You evil monkey!" Misaki gasped through his laughter.

His grin grew wider as his assault went on. "Me? Evil? Hardly," he said. "I prefer cunning." Saru halted for a moment before starting again.

Misaki took a breath but was no sooner assaulted again, laughing so hard he had tiny tears in his eyes. He brought his knee up and grabbed Saru's wrist, quickly flipping so he was sitting on Saru. "Now...if I remember...you're ticklish too!" He grinned down at his boyfriend.

"Am not," he protested, squirming a bit. That was a lie, and they both knew it. He used his free hand to grab one of Misaki’s wrists, in an attempt to lessen the coming attack.

Misaki could easily get his wrist back but instead he grinned. He slid his hand up Saru's shirt and delicately traced his ribs. He knew that with Saru - it wasn't pressure but feather light touches that made him the most ticklish.

Saru bit his lip and pressed his head into the pillow. He shakily inhaled and tried to squirm away. He grunted and released Misaki’s wrist to grab at the other.

Misaki grinned and ran his other hand up to Saru's left side. When had he last heard Saru genuinely laugh? He couldn't remember. "Saru! You're being unfair! I just want to hear you laugh!"

"I don't like my laugh," he shakily replied, resolve weakening. He didn't; he was always told it sounded like a howler monkey, and then how fitting it was since he was a monkey. But if he laughed, would Misaki stop?

Misaki stopped and planted hands on either side of Saru's head. He shifted a bit and glared into Saru's eyes. "No matter what anyone says, you have a handsome laugh. You don't sound like a monkey. And even if you do, so what? I got told I sound like a girl when I laugh."

"Not true. You have a nice laugh," he said, then realized he was caught. He sighed and squirmed. "Fine. Tickle me," he said, cheeks turning pink. He inhaled and braced himself.

"It's no fun now," Misaki pouted. He sprawled out, laying on Saru's chest and tucking his head under Saru's chin. "Besides, it's not as meaningful if I force a laugh out of you," he pouted.

Saru wrapped his arms around him and sighed. "Then tickle me later," he said, relief flooding his system. Even if he told him he liked his laugh, it wouldn't undo the years of being told how horrible it was. There wasn't a magical cure for it. He trailed fingers up his spine, feather-light.

Misaki shuddered softly and relaxed. He knew he couldn't easily change Saru's mind but it did good to have someone tell him, right?

Saruhiko closed his eyes as he continued trailing his fingers. His breathing grew steady again, as did his heart rate. His other arm rested across Misaki’s lower back.

"Saruhiko. I love you," Misaki told him. It had been embarrassing at first but now he said it multiple times a day. He had decided that he would 'make up' for his much Saru's parents didn't say it, and then some.

Every time he told him, his heart beat harder and his chest felt tight. He told him that a lot, but it never made his reaction any different. And he was always so confident in saying it. Even when Misaki couldn't tell him that without blushing and looking away, he still said it with conviction. His arms tightened and he buried his face in Misaki’s damp hair. "I love you too, Misaki," he replied as his heart raced.

"I know," Misaki said happily. He could hear Saru's heartbeat and always felt a bit triumphant to be the one making Saru flustered and not the other way around. They had half an hour until Misaki had to get up and get ready for work.

Saru smiled and brushed Misaki’s hair, fingers getting caught in a few knots. He was able to work through them, and soon was gently coming through his hair with ease. He kissed the top of Misaki’s head. The silence was comfortable between them.

Misaki sighed happily. His scalp felt tingly wherever it was touched. "This is nice," he mumbled happily.

He nodded. If they could stay like this for longer... he grinned as his fingers tangled in his hair, brushing it up instead of down. "Very nice," he agreed.

"I don't want to go to work," he sighed at last. He would have to go but he just wanted to stay like this forever. But Christmas was only a few days away and then he wouldn't have to work anymore. He could usher in the New Year as a less-busy Misaki again, and spend all the time he wanted with Saru.

"Call in," he said. "Say you have a final." Even if Misaki called in, which he doubted he would, Saru would still have to leave for a few hours to take his last final. But after, he would have all the Misaki time he could want. He wondered idly how they'd do stuff like this after he moved back into the dorms at Scepter 4. It'd take some planning, but they might be able to make it work.

"I shouldn't but...I won't lie and say I'm not tempted..." Misaki admitted. He did have a final after work. And then he had an evening shift at the daycare... "Can't the holidays be over so we can just lay in bed all day and be lazy?" Misaki whined

"You should probably study for it more, anyway," Saru pointed out. He hadn't seen him much, but when he did, Misaki certainly wasn't doing schoolwork. His arms went back to encircling Misaki.

"I'm studying plenty..." Misaki lied. Lazily, he shifted his arm to reach his watch phone and texted his boss before laying back down. "There. I'm staying home."

"Is that something you can promise me? That you're studying plenty?" Saru asked, cupping his chin and looking into his eyes. "You'll be kicked out if you fail too many classes," he said. "I still have my final in two hours," he reminded him, stifling a yawn.

"I can pull up my grades and prove I'm doing fine. I study at the daycare sometimes," Misaki told him. He was being honest, his grades were actually a bit above average, other than in his math class. But even there, he was passing. He didn't sleep much between working, volunteering, studying and taking care of things at home.

"Okay," he conceded. "I believe you." He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. "You smell nice," Saru admitted.

"I would hope so...I did shower," Misaki pointed out. He ran a hand lovingly over Saru's arm. "Are you hungry right now?"

"Not really," he said. It was a half-lie. He was a little hungry, but he didn't want to move. Or have Misaki move. "Are you?" he asked.

"Nope." Misaki lied as well. He didn't want to move from how they were but the growling of his stomach quickly gave him away.

Saru kissed his temple. "Nice try," he said. "But I just heard your stomach. Go get breakfast," he said, though he made no move to loosen his arms.

"You'll either have to let go or come with me," Misaki told him. He leaned up and planted a kiss on the corner of Saru's mouth.

"Either way I'll be cold," he said, loosening his arms from around Misaki. "Go eat," he said, arms to his sides.

Misaki sighed and got off the bed. He spent his time in the kitchen, making a ham and cheese omelette for Saru and one loaded with vegetables and cheese for himself. Misaki returned with two plates and two bottles of water.

He turned on his side and watched him cook. It reminded him of when they lived together, the first time. He closed his eyes and was starting to doze off when he awoke. Misaki was standing there with two plates. He sat up and took his plate. Setting it on his lap, he put on his glasses and started eating.

Misaki snorted triumphantly. As expected, Saru was hungry. He sat beside the other and began to eat as well. "You know Saru, I don't mind cooking breakfast for you. I'd do it every day if you’d let me," Misaki told him with a stupid, bright grin.

Saru snorted, mouth full. He swallowed. "You'd take a bullet for me," he said. "Because you can doesn't mean you should." Misaki was too busy to make sure he got a decent meal, let alone make two. "Didn't you say I needed to learn to take care of myself?"

Misaki scratched the tip of his nose and blushed a bit. "Yeah but that's...I mean...you do but I mean like...doing your laundry on time or helping with the dishes or eating right...Cooking food for the one I care about is what I enjoy! And food tastes better when you eat with someone you love, right?" He looked at Saru inquisitively.

Saruhiko honestly blushed and looked away. He shrugged as he put another bite of food in his mouth. Damn him. "Yeah," he muttered, taking another bite. Who had to suffer if he didn't do his laundry on time? Saru. And he helped with the dishes...sometimes...

Misaki grinned and scarfed down the rest of his food. He took the empty plate to the kitchen and came back with a fresh cup of coffee for Saru. Misaki complained a lot about the smell but as the days got colder and Saru had finals, Misaki always brewed him a cup.

His heart warmed as he took the cup from him. Coffee tasted better when Misaki made it. He took a sip and smirked. "Thank you," he finally said. The "Pleases" and "Thank yous" were few and far between, but Misaki really deserved it this morning. He asked himself daily how he got such an amazing boyfriend, and could never come up with an answer.

Misaki nodded. "No problem. Make sure you get to your final on time. And wear your gloves. It's a short walk but below freezing out there."

Saru grinned at him and cupped his chin. He gave him a soft kiss before standing. "Alright," he said, setting the coffee on the desk. He grabbed clean clothes and went into the bathroom.

Misaki's cheeks were pink from happiness. He barely had enough time to kiss back before Saru had disappeared into the bathroom. He heard Saru's phone buzz on the desk and paid it no mind for the time being.

He showered quickly and brushed his teeth. After he finished up, he dressed and stepped back out. He grabbed his jacket and bag and looked at him.

Misaki had gotten dressed while Saru was getting ready. He was currently sitting on Saru's bed, perched over one of his textbooks. He closed it and got to his feet, walking over and kissing Saru.

Saru kissed him once, then twice, then a third time before pulling away. As much as he wanted to kiss him, he had a final to go to. He smirked, murmured a goodbye, and left.

Misaki could let Saru kiss him all day and wouldn't have complained bit. However, he knew the other had to go. Solemnly, he watched him leave before getting to work. He studied for a couple hours, losing track of time. Finally, he looked at the clock. Saru would be home soon and would probably be hungry. He should have started lunch by now!

Saru waited outside the room until the doors opened. He went in there and took out a pencil. Once the test began, he zoned out and finished it. He didn't have to think about it too hard. Unfortunately, he couldn't leave until the designated time. Once the timer went off, he stood and left. He walked by the cafe and stopped by the window. He thought for a moment before going in and getting a small bag of something. He continued his walk back to the dorm, shivering as he walked.

By the time Saru would make it back to the dorm, Misaki would be bumbling around the kitchen. He was completely unsure of what to make with the little bit of food they had left.  
Saru came in and closed the door quickly behind him. He sighed as he kicked off his shoes. He was tired. He set the bag on the counter and walked to his desk.

"Saru?" Misaki called over his shoulder. "Are you home? What do you want for lunch?"

"I'm home," he said, zipping off his jacket and tossing it on his bed. Who else would it be? Did his friend have a key? He sighed and picked up his phone. Two missed calls. He dialed the number and put the phone to his ear.

"Andy Domyouji here. Ah! Ah Section chief, Fushimi-san..." A voice immediately responded. "Boss wants to know if you have those papers for him?"

"Yes," he said. "The library's closed for break so I can't fax them. I'll give them to him in person," he said. Didn't he say to not call him about this? He was half-sure Misaki knew, and that's why he was so clingy, but also half doubtful he remembered, and would get very upset.

"Saru what do you want f-" he noticed the other was on the phone and quieted down. 

"Sorry sir." Domyouji stated.

Saru set the phone on his shoulder. "Check the bag," he said. He returned it to his ear. "If that's all, I'm going to have lunch with my boyfriend now," he said, removing the phone from his ear. He clicked the end button and set it on the desk.

Misaki blushed softly and smiled. Saru had called him his boyfriend. He looked curiously at the bag before peeking inside.

"The cafe had pineapple upside-down cake," Saru explained, "So I got you a slice." He didn't know how it tasted, or even if Misaki would like it, but he had his weird thing with pineapple, so it couldn't hurt, right? Saruhiko checked in his folder before setting it under some text books again. Everything was in order.

"Wow!! You're the best, Saru!" Misaki grinned and took a bite of the cake. His eyes lit up. "So good!!"

"Are you serious?" he asked as he turned on his laptop. Was he? Or was he being polite? "If you don't like it, tell me," he said.

"I like it a lot! Did you get yourself anything? Here, try a bite." Misaki picked up a piece and held it out to Saru.

"I didn't. And I got that for you," he said. "It’s yours."

"Why didn't you get yourself anything?" Misaki inquired. He blushed softly and gratefully ate the rest of the cake. "You're the best sometimes."

"Because I didn't want anything," he replied, blushing. The best? No, that went to him. Saru clicked his tongue and looked away.

Misaki finished eating his cake before laying his head in Saru's lap. He reached up and pushed back a strand of blue-black hair. He couldn't help but to grin at Saru.

The gesture was so tender... he looked down at him and pushed back his hair. "When's your final?" he asked. "And your shift at the daycare," he added.

"My final is in an hour...My shift starts at 4. I usually stay after with the kids whose parents are late picking them up," Misaki explained.

He nodded. "Are you happy?" he asked, intentionally keeping the question vague. He could talk about his job, his volunteer work... anything. He waited to see where he'd take it.  
"Of course I'm happy," Misaki told him. "Even if I don't get to spend much time with you...I'm just glad things are better now, and volunteering is a lot of fun!"

Saru nodded. So he was happy. He trailed a finger along his jaw as he sat in thought. After a moment, he spoke. "We should spend more time together," he murmured.

Misaki closed his eyes and ignored the way Saru's hand tickled him. "We really should," he agreed after a moment. "I miss being able to spend time together like this. Maybe we should get a kotatsu," he joked.

"No kotatsu," he said. "No room. And how would you afford one?" he asked. "You're working your ass off for petty change as is."

"Maybe we'll get one sent from heaven again!" Misaki told him. He puffed his cheeks a bit, pouting after a moment. "It's not petty change. It's my Christmas shopping fund. And also grocery money."

"I can give you grocery money," he said. "And are you going shopping two days before Christmas?" he asked. "You'll get yourself killed in the rush." Unless he already bought it and had to pay people back.

"I won't get killed. I'm short, but I'm not that short. Besides, some places do payment plans. It's all taken care of," Misaki assured him. "I can't let you pay for the groceries all the time!"

"It's not your height, it's the mobs," Saru said. "And you're obviously short. You don't have money," he said. He didn't want to think of people shoving Misaki around and potentially hurting him. He shook his head. "Nonsense. You do most of the housework, so I could pay for the groceries." he said.

Misaki sighed loudly. He did do most of the house work that much was true. Even so, he couldn't make Saru pay for everything. "If we had our own place together, I'd still have to work, you know? I mean...you have that bigass salary but I'd feel useless otherwise..."

"Yes, you're so useless doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry," he listed off on his hand. "Not." He leaned down and kissed his forehead. "You won't have to pay for the groceries all the time," he said. "But let me help sometimes."

Misaki reached up and grabbed Saru's chin, holding him there so he could plant a kiss on Saru's lips. "Of course...We're a team after all,"Misaki stated softly. They had always been a team from the beginning, until things went sour--but now everything felt right again. Moreso than ever.

"Do you have my back?" he asked, kissing him again. He brushed his hair back and kissed him again. Team. Something in him fluttered at the word.

"Of course I do," Misaki promised. He gave Saru another kiss and smiled softly. "I'll have your back if you have mine."

"Always," he sincerely replied. There was a rift between them that ultimately caused them to go their separate ways, but it had been bridged. He couldn't see anything tearing them apart. That was both thrilling and terrifying, for many reasons. Saru pressed his lips to his and sat up. Being in that position hurt his back.

Misaki smiled softly and took Saru's hand. He yawned softly, lacing their fingers and keeping their hands against his chest. "I have to leave soon..." He didn't want to do a stupid final but he had no choice.

He could feel his heart beat and he grinned. "I'll be here when you get back," he reminded him. "Maybe I'll order more food for dinner. What do you want?" he asked. "I'll put it in the fridge."

"Italian sounds nice," Misaki noted. He was tired of pizza and takeout. He sat up slowly and moved to grab his hairbrush. His hair really was getting a bit shaggy...

Saru nodded. "Would you like to be more specific?" he asked. Misaki's hair was getting long. He liked it, since it was soft and combing it was relaxing.

"Alfredo. The kind with chicken?" Misaki told him. He reached back and began chopping at his hair with the brush, never caring properly for it when it came to brushing.

He looked away as he got rough with his hair. It would just frizz and be fluffier that way. He knew Misaki didn't care, but it would still happen. He reached for his bottle of water.  
"Ow..." He complained softly. After a few moments he sighed loudly before handing the brush to Saru. "Help me out?" He looked at Saru pleadingly.

He walked over and took it. He gently worked through the knots, clicking his tongue as he did so. "It was so smooth this morning. What did you do while I was gone?" he asked. He stopped and gently worked through a knot.

"I just washed it," Misaki protested softly. Misaki leaned back into the touch from the brush. Really, he was just happy to have the affection from Saru.

"Yes, and it was smooth this morning. Did you get into a fight when I was taking my final?" he inquired. He put a hand on Misaki’s shoulder go steady himself as he encountered a nasty knot.

"No. I didn't get in a fight," Misaki huffed. "All I did was wash my hair..." He yawned softly and leaned back into Saru.

He finished brushing his hair and kissed his cheek. "Well, it’s untangled," he said, hand still on his shoulder. "Your final is soon," he said.

"Thank you." Misaki smiled sweetly. He gave Saru a kiss on the cheek as well, running his hand over Saru's. "Yeah...I better head that way. I'll be home tonight..."

He nodded as he wrapped his arms around him from behind. He released him and walked back to his desk, shuffling stray papers and taking out folders. They were old worksheets for classes, so he could put them away and throw them out later.

Misaki sighed softly and watched Saru for a moment. He finally grabbed his coat and pulled it on and then his coat. "I'll see you later," Misaki told him before heading out the door.  
Time passed; he ordered his and Misaki's food and went to pick it up. He brought it back and ate his after putting Misaki's away. He laid on his bed and messed around on his phone before falling asleep with his glasses on and phone on his chest.

Misaki returned late. Saru was already in bed so he tiptoed to the kitchen and heated up his food. He ate about half and put the rest up. He quickly changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed with Saru.   
.


	21. Chapter 21

The next couple days passed rather quickly. Misaki was busy, shopping for everyone and working. In a blink of an eye, it was Christmas Eve. He felt oddly nervous that morning...they had been on dates before but today was different.

In the next few days, the blue was able to finish his present to Misaki. As for the Christmas party gift-exchange, he got gift cards for everyone. Easy and effortless. Misaki's present was wrapped and under the small Christmas tree Misaki and his friend insisted on putting under their window.

Misaki had clumsily wrapped the gift and placed it under the tree. It was in a rather large box. He took a deep breath and brushed his hair back from his face. "Are you ready to go out?" Misaki asked. He was wearing black dress pants and a red dress shirt.

Saru nodded and stood. He fiddled with the buttons at the cuffs of his dress shirt and went to get his jacket. He zipped it up. "Are you ready?" he asked, twirling his keys in his hand.

"I am." Misaki told him. He grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. "Where do you want to go first? Down town or dinner?"

"Downtown," he said. Saru wasn't hungry yet. He walked out of their dorm and locked it behind him. Stashing the keys in his pocket, he started walking to the main door with him.

The dorm was practically empty. Everyone was away for the holiday. Misaki smiled a bit and squeezed Saru's hand tighter. He was so happy. He couldn't hide his grin as they walked towards the lit up streets. The multi-colored lights illuminated his freckles. 

Saruhiko pulled his hood over his dark hair. The air was very cold that night. He shivered slightly and buried his other hand deeper in his pocket.

"Cold?" Misaki asked. It was a bit chilly...His breath was visible in thick puffs. But everything was so beautiful. Trees decorated in lights and small ornaments lined the streets.

The taller shrugged and kept walking. Scooting closer to the redhead, he stopped in front of a tree and looked up. "Reminds me of the Ferris wheel," he said.

"Yeah! Me too!" Misaki grinned a bit more. They had shared their first kiss on the Ferris Wheel after all. "Maybe when it gets warm we can go to the amusement park again "

He nodded. "It'll be more crowded but we could also do more," he said. Saruhiko remembered that night. It was...remarkable. His hand went to his lips, fingers grazing over them.

"Yeah...are you okay with that though?" Misaki furrowed his brow with worry. "You get motion sick easily...we can get you some medicine this time."

"You say that like all I could do is ride rides," he said. "There's more than just rides. Like being with you," he said.

Misaki blushed and looked away. "Y-yeah...that's true, huh? We can get crepes and if we go during the right time...we can watch the fireworks...it'll be really great."

"Of course it will. I'll have you," Saru murmured. "You don't have to take me places. I'm happy just being near you."

"I feel the same way; ya know? But it's nice getting out once in a while..." Misaki told him. Even when they were surrounded by people, Misaki felt as though they were the only ones in the world in that moment. Couple surrounded them, holding hands and hanging all over one another but he paid them no mind. Only Saru existed to him.

Going out every once in a while was good enough for Fushimi. He nodded as he looked at him. He raised Misaki's hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles before lowering their hands. It was a quick gesture, but a tender nonetheless.

Misaki felt warmth spread through his fingers and up to his speckled cheeks. He was about to tell Saru he loved him before he got distracted by a huge Christmas tree. The white tree stood about twenty feet high, decorated in red and blue lights. "Saru! Look!"

His blue eyes followed Misaki’s amber ones as he looked to the tree. The red and blue was pretty, but they were still separate colors. They'd never come together. He squeezed the smaller hand he held tighter.

Misaki found the contrast to be quite beautiful. The two were different but they almost blended in a way. He looked up as snow started falling and laughed a bit. "Of course...but it's so pretty...even if it's cold."

"Very pretty," he said, looking at his small boyfriend. He took off his scarf and wrapped it around Misaki's neck. The blue was striking against his red hair. He zipped up his own jacket further.

Misaki opened his mouth to protest but instead pulled the scarf up over his nose and mouth, breathing in the soft scent of his beloved. He moved closer to Saru and leaned on him as they walked a bit farther. "I love you," he reminded him.

"I love you too,"came a soft reply. He angled his head and pressed his lips to Misaki’s quickly. His stomach flipped and his heart hammered as he did.

Misaki felt like he could die right then and be happy. He returned the kiss, his own heart pounding in his chest. No one paid them any mind...everyone was absorbed with the snow or their own significant other.

Saruhiko kissed him again. The urge to kiss him deeper was there, but he was also aware of the people nearby. Misaki leaned up, kissing back softly. He leaned into Saru's gentle touch and sighed contentedly. Saru broke the kiss and looked golden eyes, cold hand running along his cheek tenderly. He was lost in their world again. It wasn't until Misaki’s stomach growled softly that he realized they were still out in public.

Saru smirked at him and broke apart. "Where to?" he asked, taking his hand again.  
Misaki focused a bit of his warmth into the tips of his fingers as he squeezed Saru's hand. 

"Hmm...well. Anywhere with chicken will be packed. So I guess we'll eat something not traditional. But not pizza, " Misaki replied.

Saruhiko walked slowly as he thought, hoping Misaki would see something and decide for them.  
Misaki glanced around. Nothing seemed to jump out at him. Maybe it was because he was out with Saru and didn't care where they ate. Finally, he pointed to a small cafe that was, surprisingly, open. "What about there? It doesn't look crowded at all..."

He gained a shrug in response as Saru lead the way to it. He opened the door, a wave of warmth and the smell of bread filled their noses. Looking around, Saru noted that there was barely anyone. It was quiet.

"I'll be right there!" The waitress called from behind the counter. Misaki led Saru to a table in the corner and sat across from him. It was nice and warm inside.

Saru took off his jacket and set it on the back of his chair. Leaning forward, he stifled a yawn behind his hand. His other hand rested on the table.

"Alright, what can I get you two handsome young men to drink?" The waitress asked, winking a bit. Misaki shifted awkwardly. "Just...a hot apple cider please," he muttered.

"Coffee and a water," Saru told her. He looked at the menu without sparing her a glance. They had many options...but what did he want...

"No problem! I'll get that right out to you!" She chirped. Misaki turned his attention back to the menu. Was there anything cheap that sounded good!?

"I'm buying," the blue announced dully, turning the menu to a different page. The thing was most of the food wasn't what he normally ate. So he had no idea what to get. He sighed and went back to the first page.

"What are you getting?" Misaki asked after another 5 minutes of contemplation. He kept flipping the page back and forth, trying to decide.

"I have no idea," he admitted. A full meal didn't seem appealing. Something smaller was what he needed. He went back to the page he started on.  
"Want to split something? I'm not that hungry either..." Misaki told him. "So what looks good."

"This," he said, pointing to something stuck in the corner of the menu. "Veggies on the side."

"Alright." Misaki smiled a bit and waved for the woman. She was coming back with their drinks and sat them down. "Can we get this steak? Veggies on the side please," Misaki told her as she nodded. 

"Would you two like two plates?" She asked with a quirked brow.

"Yes," he said, looking at her and reaching for Misaki's hand. "I don't think we'll be joined by anyone else, so two will do."

The waitress's eyes widened in surprise and pink flooded Misaki's cheeks. He smiled a bit, gripping Saru's hand. "I...I'll have that right out to you then," she murmured. 

Saru looked away and to Misaki. "You're blushing. Was it something I said?" he asked with a smirk.

"You know why I'm blushing, Saru," Misaki growled softly. It was neither menacing nor angry but more embarrassed. "Even so...I think she was flirting with you...So I'm fine with this option."

"Flirting? She took our orders. I think that's more 'doing her job' than anything," he replied. He tilted his head and reached out to Misaki with his free hand. "You look good in pink," he said.

"She winked at you. I saw it," Misaki insisted. He leaned into Saru's touched a bit and smiled a bit. "Is that why you like to make me so flustered?"

"I think her contacts were giving her problems," he drawled. "Those were hardly winks." He thought for a moment "Were you getting jealous?" he inquired, resting one arm on the table and squeezing the smaller’s hand. "I'll answer your question if you answer mine."

"I asked first," Misaki countered with a grin. He propped his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his free hand.

"My question is more pressing," he insisted. He took a sip of coffee. It wasn't bad. It was actually pretty good. He set it down and looked at Misaki over the rims of his glasses.

"She was clearly checking you out. Can't you be more aware of yourself?" Misaki asked, scoffing a bit. He took a sip of his cider. It wasn't the best but it was warm and that was pleasant.

"You were jealous," he affirmed, smirk growing wider. "And I don't think that was 'checking out' either. No matter," he said. "You're the jealous one in this relationship, correct? At least one of us is."

"So you're telling me that you don't get jealous even a tiny bit when Shogo and I hang out?" Misaki countered with a confident grin. "And what if some other guy or girl were to check me out? "

"I don't get jealous when Shogo is around," he said, remembering their conversation all that time ago. Was it only a few months? It felt like almost a lifetime. "Why would I get jealous? I trust you," he admitted. He scoffed. "A girl checking you out? You'd die. It’s a miracle you could order our dinner," he said.

Misaki gently kicked Saru under the table. "Hey, be nice. I have you and that's all that matters...I just can't talk to girls that well...That isn't my fault. And I trust you...but not other people. Now answer my question."

Saruhiko’s heart warmed. He looked down for a moment before taking a long drink of his coffee. He set it down and looked at him. "What was your question again?" he asked.

Misaki scowled at Saru. "I asked if you think it’s fun to get me flustered because I 'look good in pink'?" It was embarrassing to even bring up, causing him to shift awkwardly.

"Yes," he said. "You're growing pink again. Can you not talk about blushing without blushing?" he asked. "You're such a virgin."

Another shin kick. This time, a bit harder. "Like you're not?" he argued. He hoped so at least...if not, he'd definitely be a little more than jealous.

"I hardly see why that's your business," he said. He was, in fact, a virgin. But teasing Misaki was so much fun. "I don't know if we're at the point of disclosing our sexual histories. Unless you want to?" he asked.

"M-maybe not here..." Misaki admitted, looking around. It was empty but he'd still rather not chance someone overhearing them.

He nodded and finished his glass of water. Would they ever...? He was taking it one day at a time. He wasn't letting himself look to the future, or get plans for it. Hell, he was prepared to toss his Christmas present to Misaki if things headed south in the next few hours. He shut down the train of thought and squeezed his hand again. 

"Is something wrong?" Misaki asked after a moment. He squeezed Saru's hand back, looking at him with concerned golden eyes. "Something on your mind?"

"I'm out of water," he lied, looking into his glass. He avoided looking at his eyes. Lying to those eyes was getting harder. It was easy when had they hated each other, but now they loved each other. He wondered if he'd ever be fully honest with him before shutting down the train of thought-- again.

Misaki furrowed his brow more. Saru was lying...It made him wonder what was really wrong. Was Saru planning to break up with him? Was Saru ill? Was he getting a job transfer to somewhere far away? He shook those thoughts aside, assuring himself everything was fine. Even so, in the pit of his stomach, he felt like something ominous was hanging between them.

He sighed. He could tell, even without looking, that Misaki was scowling. "If you want to, we can talk when we aren't on a date," he said. "I don't want to ruin it."

"Yea...I'd like that. For now, let's just enjoy ourselves!" Misaki told him brightly. He looked up, just in time to see the waitress bringing over their food and an extra plate. "Here you boys are," she said brightly.

Saru gave a nod and took the empty plate. After she was gone, he looked at him. "I told you she wasn't flirting," he said, rather smugly. He waited for Misaki to divvy up the food.

"I still say she was," Misaki argued as he began to divide the food. He gave Saru over half of the steak since he was the one taking 90% of the vegetables.

Saru took his half, or rather, part, and put it on his plate. Begrudgingly, he took a few vegetables and kept them far away from his steak. He put the broccoli on Misaki's plate anyway. It was gross.

"Saru..." Misaki sighed softly. Well.. he couldn't complain too much. Saru had, after all, taken some of the carrots. It was a start to say the least.

"What?" he asked. Pointedly, he took a carrot and popped it in his mouth. He chewed it twice before swallowing. To reward himself, he took a bite of steak next.

"You're ridiculous sometimes. But you've been eating healthier," Misaki told him proudly. He was like a doting parent, "Your skin and nails look better too and there's not as many black hairs everywhere."

"So you're making me go bald," he said. He did feel better. But he gave most of the credit to Misaki. "And it’s not like you're low maintenance."

"I'm pretty low maintenance compared to you!" Misaki retorted, rudely pointing his fork at Saru. Misaki's cuticles were an atrocity and his hands were somewhat calloused. But at the very least, he took care of his lips, leaving them rarely chapped.

He looked at him over his glasses. He sighed and took another bite of steak. "It’s all a matter of opinion," he said. "A majority of the things that would classify me as 'high maintenance' would be solved if you had me do it myself. Like laundry or dishes or making my bed."

 

Misaki chuckled softly, a smile spreading across his face. "We both know that you aren't going to do those things for yourself. And as your b-boyfriend," he paused, cheeks flushed. "It's my job to take care of you."

"Didn't we decide that you don't have to take care of me?" he asked, taking a bite of a carrot. That would put a strain on the relationship, anyway. "I'm not like one of your siblings. I can take care of myself. I did when I lived alone."

"I still worry about you," Misaki protested. He furrowed his eyebrows and glowered over the last remaining bite of food which was perched on his fork. "I know you can take care of yourself but...you don't seem to do the best job of it. And I..." He looked down and shifted awkwardly, "I don't want anything to happen to you."

He clicked his tongue. "Nothing is going to happen to me," he told him. ‘Didn't do the best job of it’? He was eating vegetables, wasn't he? And he showered daily. And he was hydrated. What more could Misaki want?

"If something does happen to you, I'll get really upset," Misaki told him. He put his fork down and gave Saruhiko a genuine look. "I mean it...."

"Nothing will happen to me. I'm fine, and I hardly see combat," he sighed, taking a bite of his steak. "Don't worry so much."

Misaki wrinkled his nose in annoyance before looking deep in thought. He saw a lot of combat...did Saru worry about him often? Before he could get the nerve to ask, the waitress came by with their check.

Saru took it and looked at it briefly before pulling out his wallet. He folded two bills and stuck them in there, leaving the book on the edge of the table. "What's on your mind?"  
"Nothing important," Misaki told him. "I was just wondering if you worry about me...I mean- not that you need to! I was just curious.”

"You should already know the answer," he scolded gently, pushing his plate away from him. He remembered when they weren't on speaking terms, and he had made sure Misaki didn't get hurt in the fight with the strain. Not to mention how reckless Misaki was.

Disappointment flashed in gold eyes for a moment. He wanted to hear Saruhiko say he worried. But knowing was reassuring on its own. He grinned widely. "Let's go! There is plenty more to do before the party tomorrow."

"Are we opening presents tonight or tomorrow after the party?" he asked as he stood with him. He slipped his coat and scarf back on. It was a couples’ holiday, but for all he knew, Misaki just wanted to sleep.

"Let's do it tonight! We'll probably be exhausted by the time we get back tomorrow." Misaki grabbed his coat as well and pulled it on. He was beaming with excitement about going out with Saru.

"Is there anything else you want to do?" Fushimi asked him as he took his hand. He walked out of the small cafe, ignoring the call of the waitress behind them.  
Misaki waved to her once before taking Saru's hand with a burst of courage. "One more thing," Misaki told him with a smile. He reached up, adjusting Saru's scarf before tugging him toward the huge tree in the center of the shopping district.

He was dragged along by Misaki willingly, skin tingling where his tanned fingers had brushed his neck. What on earth were they going to do near that tree? Take another photo?  
Misaki grinned once they reached the base. Most of the crowd had retreated. Misaki took out Saru's phone and grinned stupidly. "Let's take another picture together!"

He sighed and tried to hide his amusement at how happy Misaki could get through the simplest things. "You can take it," he said, moving to stand next to Misaki. He couldn't say no if it made him so happy.

Misaki held the phone up as high as he could in front of them. It was hard to get them both in it. He snapped a picture and quickly leaned up to kiss Saru's cheek. He quickly took another picture before the blue could try to hide his expression.

Saru reflexively grinned every time Misaki showed him affection; it was a reaction he couldn't help. He glared at him as he kept snapping photos. "Delete that second one," he said  
"Okay~" Misaki quickly pretended to delete it. He sent the photo to himself and then deleted it from Saru's phone. He handed the phone back before leaning up to kiss him softly.

Saruhiko checked through the phone once it was back in his hand. It was gone, and he was pretty sure Misaki didn't know how to work his phone; not if he had been using that watch all those years. The thing was pretty old. Content, he kissed him back softly as well. "Let's go back to the dorm," he murmured.

Misaki nodded. He had just wanted a kiss under the tree. It was good luck, after all. "Yeah...before you freeze to death," he teased, taking Saru's hand. He grinned a bit as his watch beeped with the picture message from Saru.

He heard Misaki’s wrist beep; probably a message from another Homra thug. "I won't freeze to death since I have you here," he said. He started their walk back to the dorms.  
Misaki chuckled softly, quite happy with that statement. He was surprisingly quite as they made their way back to the room. He was enjoying the peaceful feeling of being near Saru in such a way.

Fushimi didn't mind the silence; he was quite happy to walk with his Misaki without saying anything. He unlocked the main door before their door. He turned on the light and stepped inside.

Misaki looked proudly at their small tree and the gifts beneath it. It felt surreal...but he wasn't complaining. He slid off his jacket and shoes, neatly putting them where they belonged.

The tall male took off his coat and scarf and neatly draped them over the back of his chair. He walked over to where the small tree was and knelt near it. He took the box for Misaki, carefully wrapped and held it in his lap, unsure of how it worked. Did he hand it to him now? Did they exchange them at the same time?

Misaki furrowed his brow. Opening gifts at the same time would distract from one another's reactions. "Open yours first!" He said at last. He pulled out the large box and another smaller box, both clumsily wrapped.

"Yours first," he said, handing Misaki the box. It was one present, but he was awfully proud of the work and thought he put into it. He suddenly felt bad at the inequality of their presents; the raw materials for his were negligible. Should he give him money?

"Alright. Oldest first then," he boasted. He came to sit beside Saruhiko, fingers carefully unwrapping the paper. He turned over the disc in his hands, reading the text. "I-is this??"  
Saru nodded and looked away, cheeks pink. "Yes. It is," he said. He was relieved when the conversion from the tapes to the DVD was relatively painless. And evidently, Misaki had no idea of the time he had spent at Homra doing that for him. Kusanagi could keep a secret then. And Anna of course.

Misaki could feel the tip of his nose burn and his eyes too. He looked at Saru, blubbering and struggling to speak. He finally threw his arms around Saru, hugging him tightly and telling him over and over how much he loved him. 

Misaki had hesitated. Oh shit. He messed up. He thought it would be a good present-- he remembered all the times he was depressed and thought the tapes would help-- but evidently not. He started to say he could get him something else, a proper winter coat, when he was taken aback at his grip around him and how many times he could stammer out 'I love yous' to him.

“Thank you. So much..." Misaki pulled back, wiping snot from his nose with his sleeve. He stared up at Saru lovingly. "Thank you."

He reached to the table and handed Misaki the tissues. "That's gross," he said, avoiding the issue at hand. "And it was easy to do."

"Even so..." He blew his nose loudly into the tissue. "It means a lot to me. It means so much...because of couldn't have don't this on your own but...you don't like Homra...so the fact you did this..." He sniffled and smiled. "Thank you."

"You're making a big deal out of nothing," he said, cheeks flushing. "I wanted to do something and I did it. That's all there was to it."

Misaki kissed him before leaning back and pointing to the big box. "That one first, ok?"

Saru nodded and started on the haphazardly wrapped present. Misaki always used too much paper, and tape, so it took him a few moments to get down to the box. He opened it and stared at the contents inside.

Misaki rubbed the back of his neck. "Your old laptop...all you do is complain about it so..." It was really nice with a lot of specs that would be useful to Saruhiko. He had clearly had to have saved a lot up to purchase it.

He blinked a few times and stared at Misaki. "This is why you've been working so hard?" he asked, voice quiet.

"S-something like that...yea," Misaki told him. Was Saru annoyed? Happy? It was so hard to read him at times. Sure, the odd jobs and long hours of studying, volunteering, and sometimes working two jobs a day had been rough but it was worth it if it was something Saru needed. And wanted.

He curled against Misaki’s side and wrapped his arms around him. He couldn't believe.... Over him? He had nearly worked himself to death over him?

Misaki flushed a bit. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Saruhiko. He wondered what he was thinking but he was afraid to prod the taller make for answers.  
"I love you," he told him. "But I wasn't worth it. You didn't have to do this."

"I love you too. And you're worth it to me," Misaki told him gently. "And your work is important to you...so it's important to me as well..." Even if he hated the blue clan for taking Saru from him.

He wrapped his arms tighter around Misaki at that. Wasn't he angry at the blue clan? Didn't he hate them? Misaki must have genuinely loved him then if he could at least look past all that. He didn't expect him to get past it, but knowing he was looking past it...  
"Saru..." Misaki whispered. "What are you thinking? I won't know unless you tell me..."

"You love me," he said. "You really love me." He forgot about the second box and buried his face in his boyfriend's neck instead.

Misaki had forgotten it as well. "Of course I do. I thought I told you all the time," Misaki murmured. He ran his hand through Saruhiko's hair softly.

"This is different. It's showing, not telling," he said. People could say happy birthday all they wanted, but it really got special when someone gave you proof they were happy it was your birthday. Like a clumsily knit blue scarf.

"Well...you did the same for me," he pointed out. "So I guess it just means we really love each other!" Carefully, he pressed his lips to Saru's dark hair.

He nuzzled him before looking up at him with loving blue eyes. He softly kissed Misaki, eyes not closing.

Misaki's own eyes slid shut slowly as he kissed back softly. His heart pounded almost as hard as the first time they kissed.

He broke the kiss only after a few moments. He looked at Misaki and smiled softly. "Thank you," he said.

Misaki treasured the smile that was only for him. He smiled back before grinning. "You're welcome! I'm glad you're happy!"

He shook his head; he was so happy. "Incredible," he mused, relaxing his head against his shoulder.

"What? Me? I'm not really..." Misaki protested softly. He looked at Saru a bit, letting him stay there a bit longer. "You have another present, by the way."

"Shut up. You're incredible," he argued, exhaling slowly. He looked beside him. He did have another present, didn't he? He disentangled himself from Misaki and took it into his hands, opening it slowly.

Misaki was sentimental. It wasn't a secret. Inside was a framed photo of them from middle school.

"How did you get this?" he asked, running his long fingers over the edges of the frame. Misaki hadn't changed much, especially since his hair was so shaggy at the moment. He did look older, but still had the excitement in his eyes. Saru didn't want to think of how he had changed since then. His fingers ran over his collarbone absentmindedly.

"That...I've had it for a long time. Well, mom did. She kept it for me..." Misaki explained. He touched his own collarbone gently. "It's nice...being together again."

"This is better," he said, eyes still glued to the photo. He broke his gaze with it and looked at him. "Thank you," he said, cheeks flooding with color. He scooted over and wrapped his arms around Misaki’s small form once more.

Misaki blushed a bit as well. Slowly he wrapped his arms tightly around Saru, sniffling a bit. He was so happy...so was Saru.

"Now there's almost no point in me going to the Christmas party tomorrow. Nothing can top this," he sighed, kissing below Misaki’s ear.

Misaki tilted his head to the side, sighing softly. He giggled a bit. "We should still go...I think it'll be fun."

"I have to go," he reminded. "Mandatory. And you aren't getting out of it either." He was tired of being harassed about his relationship status. Couldn't they actually work and not gossip?

"Like I'd avoid going...You're going after all!" There were tons of reasons to go and Saru just happened to be one of those reasons.

"Weird to think we won't be fighting tomorrow at the party. We've fought almost every time we've met for years," he pondered aloud.

"That's true...but that creep adopted Anna after all..." He always thought it would be Kusanagi. Homra had been her family...so why did that guy get to adopt her?

Saru clicked his tongue. "Do you not want what's best for her?" he asked.

"I do!" Misaki protested. "I just....don't know if that's what's best...but I just want her happy."

"Why do you think it isn't for the best?" he asked. He knew the answer. He knew how Misaki felt about the blues. "Are you forgetting about the alliance?"

"I know, I know. But the allegiance is different from family...That guy is just...shady..." Misaki muttered softly. He sighed a bit.

"Said the member of a gang," he pointed out. "Do you think Kusanagi would stand by and watch if Anna was unhappy?" He saw her more often than Misaki anyway.  
Misaki pursed his lips in thought. "....I guess..." He sighed after a moment.

"If you're so concerned about her, talk to him tomorrow. Unless something horrible happens he's going to stay her dad. So there's no use in complaining all the time."  
Misaki glared stubbornly but sighed in defeat. "I'll talk to Anna tomorrow and if she's happy, I'll drop it."

"And now you're pouty," he said, flicking Misaki’s lower lip. He didn't even want to talk to Munakata. He'd keep complaining about him, even if Anna said she was happy. Right?  
Misaki flinched, blushing a bit. "Don't be a jerk," Misaki huffed. He leaned against Saruhiko's shoulder and sighed softly.

"I'm not actively trying," he pointed out. "I'm just pointing out you're pouty," he said, thumb swiping his bottom lip this time.  
Misaki blushed, parting his lips a bit. "You're the worst sometimes...but I love you. Are you tired?"

"Nope," he replied, pressing his lips to the other’s. His hand cupped Misaki’s chin as he pulled apart a bit to gauge his reaction.

That was certainly surprising...Saruhiko was always tired. Misaki kissed back softly and lovingly, sighing happily.

He kissed him again, situating himself to straddle his lap. His fingers ran through his auburn hair gently.

Misaki tipped his head back as Saru ran his fingers through his hair. He smiled softly against Saruhiko's lips. Misaki’s lips were captured once more. Their kisses began slow and chaste, building to wet, open-mouthed kisses and finally exploring one anothers mouth. Best. Christmas. Ever. 

 

After their make out session, Saru rested his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder. "Now I'm tired," he murmured, lips and fingers tingling.

Misaki nodded a bit, still trying to calm his heart. His own lips were tingling, as well as his scalp from Saruhiko's touch. "We have a long day ahead so let's go to sleep, ok?"  
He nodded and stood. He walked to his dresser and took out a pair of pajamas. After getting them on he crawled into bed.

Misaki opted to just wear his long sleeve shirt and his boxers. A moment later, he climbed into the bed next to Saruhiko, shuffling close and laying his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.

Saru draped an arm over Misaki and scooted closer to him. He took his glasses off and set them aside before sliding his eyes shut.  
Misaki fell asleep almost instantly. It came as no surprise that running around all day full of excitement made him tired. He slept wonderfully. He had the best boyfriend in the world... even if he was a gloomy jerk sometimes.

Saru was still confused as to why Misaki was with him. He complained about his habits, but made no move to try and not enable him. He sometimes complained about doing all the cooking and cleaning, but brushed him away when he tried to help, unless he was really tired. Confessing to him was a shot in the dark, but it worked out in his favor-- until Misaki got tired of him and decided he had enough. Sleep didn't come easily, and he didn't sleep well either.


	22. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The final chapter. I had intended to upload this on the 21st - Violet Entente's one year anniversary but things have been hectic and Ao3 doesn't let you schedule posts. Thank you so much for reading all this time and dealing with my slow updates. It's been a long time coming but here we are. This is it. The final chapter. Please enjoy.

As per usual, Misaki woke up early. He looked at the clock and groaned a bit before sliding out of Saru's grip. Once he was free, he started making breakfast, having decided on cinnamon rolls the night before. The oven could preheat as he showered so it seemed like an easy enough thing. He turned the oven on as well as the fan above it and grabbed dress pants and a white button down. He left the obnoxious Crimson bow tie on his bed as he headed for the shower.

The round pan had been moved. He would have settled for the round casserole dish- if he knew where it was. That was the last time Saru was allowed to put up dishes.  
Saru groaned when Misaki left him. His hands balled in the sheets where the smaller was laying moments ago, before he slipped back into unconsciousness. The kitchen fan was a dull roar in his nap; he didn't stir again until he heard banging in the kitchen. He groaned again and put the pillow over his head.  
The round pan had been moved. He would have settled for the round casserole dish- if he knew where it was. That was the last time Saru was allowed to put up dishes. "Aha!!" He shouted triumphantly, finding it at last. He popped open the can and plopped the dough in the pan.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, lifting his head. Saruhiko’s tone was sharp, but his voice was weak.

"Making breakfast," Misaki called back. He didn't flinch at his boyfriend’s tone. He knew Saru was just tired.

"Make breakfast more quietly," he said into the pillow. He rolled on his side and tried to find sleep, but nothing came. He sighed and got out of bed. Walking to the fridge, he looked inside for a coffee drink but found nothing of the sort. He clicked his tongue and shut it.

"I'd do it more quietly if someone would put things in their proper place," Misaki muttered under his breath. He looked at Saru and pointed to the coffee pot. "We're out of that canned junk.”

"Did you say something?" Saru asked, taking a tub of grounds out of the cabinet and putting them in the coffee maker, on top of the old ones. He looked at him, eyebrow raised as he filled the pot with water.

"I said nothing important," Misaki told him. He peeked in the oven then glanced at the timer. He could be getting ready...his hair was still a mess.

"Like normal," the taller sighed under his breath. He turned on the machine and got down a mug. "I'm going to shower while it brews," he said, turning around and going to the bathroom.  
"Breakfast will be done by the time you're out," Misaki called over his shoulder. He ignored the snide comment.

Saruhiko closed the door behind him and turned on the shower. He dug out two headache pills from the bathroom and popped them in his mouth before getting in the shower. He emerged 15 minutes later clean, hair damp, and the pounding between his temples significantly reduced.

By the time Saruhiko would be done, Misaki was placing two plates on the table as well as a cup of coffee. He got back up for a bottle of water for himself.

Saru sat at the table and looked at the spread. The room smelled nice, and the oven made it very warm. He was content; he mumbled a thanks for the food and pulled his plate to him.

"What's that?" Misaki teased with a small smile. "Hey...you know how to tie, like a real bow tie right? Kusanagi wants me wearing it but...he didn't show me how. So maybe after breakfast?"

He nodded and took a bite, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. He swallowed and nodded again. "Yeah. It's easy." He took a drink of his coffee and sighed.

Misaki sighed in relief. He picked apart the cinnamon roll, eating it slowly. He smiled softly, sighing contently. "This is nice."

Saru nodded in agreement. "So does Homra have a dress code tonight?" he asked. He couldn't imagine those thugs in anything other than ratty street clothes.

"Of course we do. Don't be rude," Misaki huffed softly. He finished eating and then took another drink of water. "And of course you guys do."

The other nodded as he looked into his coffee. "Christmas sweaters were encouraged but not mandatory," he said. So, he'd be wearing anything but that.

"We're all required to 'dress nice,'" he grumbled softly. He pouted a bit before getting to his feet and grabbing the dishes.

"Stop whining. It won't be so bad," Fushimi said. He got up and walked to his bed, picking up the bow tie and running it between his fingers. "I'm not complaining about it."

"Oh?" Misaki asked. He looked over his shoulder and came back to Saru’s side. "And why is that?" He asked.

"Why it won't be bad or why I'm not complaining?" he asked, turning to face him. He set the cloth around Misaki’s freckled neck and looked at him curiously.

"I meant why you aren’t complaining," he said. He shuddered a bit as the fabric slid around his collar.

Saru smirked softly as he tied the bow around his neck. "Because I get to spend time with my boyfriend," he said simply. "And end of the year bonuses are coming out."

Misaki blushed and smiled softly. "I'm glad that you're happy to spend time with me. I can't wait to spend more time with you."

"Why wouldn't I be happy to spend time with you?" he asked, finishing the bow. "Really Misaki," he muttered as he leaned over and kissed him quickly. He walked over to his dresser and took out a pair of slacks and a button down.

Misaki smiled, brushing his fingers across his lips after Saru kissed him. "Even so...it makes me happy to hear it," he pulled on his shoes.

Saruhiko pulled on his own clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. He reemerged ten minutes later with his hair styled, teeth brushed, and face washed.

Misaki got to his feet. He offered a small smile and looked at Saruhiko lovingly. "You look nice."

Saru blushed softly and looked away. Misaki looked nice as well-- his shaggy hair suited him well. "You look good in red," he said.

Misaki blushed a bit as well. He used a hair tie to pull his hair back into a tiny, low ponytail. "I'm glad you think so. And you look good in blue." The smaller male approached and smoothed a wrinkle from Saruhiko's shirt. "Ready to go?"

He shook his head. He leaned down, delicately taking Misaki’s chin as he pressed a kiss to his lips. "Now I am," he told him, walking and pulling on his coat.

Misaki felt his heart flutter. He took Saruhiko's hand and followed him put the door. "Are we taking the bus or is your boss sending someone to get us? It's a bit of a walk.”

"Someone will get us," he said. He didn't know if the buses ran on Christmas. Misaki’s hand around his reminded him-- the paperwork was still in the dorms. "I need to go back and get something," he said suddenly, letting go of his hand and turning around.

"W-what? Ok..." He let go and waited, assuming it was an important document or something of the sort.

Saruhiko rushed back to the dorm room quickly and unlocked it. He stepped inside and found the folder with the completed paperwork and tucked it inside his jacket. He didn't need nosy Misaki peeking in, or trying to take it from his hand, like he had tried a few times before. He came back down and took his hand again.

Misaki smiled a bit when he felt Saruhiko's hand wrap around his own. His fingertips warmed a bit with the presence of his red aura. The winter wind nipped at his cheeks and just as he geared up to complain, a blue vehicle arrived.

Saru opened the door and got in first, then held it open for Misaki. He looked at the driver and didn't say anything; "Close the door. It's cold," he complained.

Misaki slid in and closed the door quickly. Even he was shivering a bit... He leaned on Saruhiko as they rode to the Scepter 4 location.

They pulled up; the driver smiled at Saru and welcomed him home. He clicked his tongue and got out, waiting for Misaki as he did. He took his hand and started to the doors.

Misaki felt his heart pound hard as they entered the building. It was almost blindingly beautiful...Kusanagi was standing at the top of the staircase with Anna holding onto his arm. "Misaki. Saruhiko," she called with a small smile.

Saru didn't acknowledge Kusanagi; he just merely went up the stairs. "Come on, Misaki," he said. "Stop standing around staring."

Misaki grinned at Anna and patted her head as they went up the stairs. He followed Saruhiko into a large ballroom-like area that was decorated with lights and held a huge tree. His golden eyes were wide with wonder as he looked around in amazement.   
These annual parties were common place to him by now and as such, had no impact on Saruhiko. The blue shrugged off his coat and went off in search of a place to hang it up, clutching the file in his hand.

Misaki looked around in awe a bit longer before realizing Saruhiko was gone. Awkwardly, he approached a blue clansman and asked where the coat room was. He decided to look there for his beloeved, needing to hang up his coat anyway. Draping the coat over his arm, he went to the large room, mostly on the hunt for his boyfriend.

Tha lanky adult was hanging up his coat with the file tucked awkwardly under one arm. It was hard to see in the dim lighting of the closet; he shifted his arm and the file fell from it and onto the floor. He dropped his coat and knelt down, scrambling for the papers.

The closet was so damn dim. Misaki saw someone scrambling about after the sound of falling papers. He rushed over and got on the floor to help. As he gathered up papers, he saw the bold words 'HOUSING APPLICATION' and on the 'Tenant's Name' line, his eyes traced the characters that made up Saruhiko's name. He read it three times, making sure he read the kanji properly. "What is this...?" He asked, voice shaking a bit.

"Housing application," came Saruhiko’s simple answer. He sighed and took the paper from Misaki. "I told you months ago I was moving out. I don't know why this is a shock to you." Did he think because they started dating he wouldn't be moving out?

Misaki's heart sank. He had been on cloud nine this entire time...but now it felt like he fell from it. Hard. "Oh..." He whispered. He felt a mixture of anger and sadness rising up in his stomach. "I... that was when things weren't...I mean...why are you still moving?" He asked, voice distraught.

The sound of Misaki’s voice stung him; he was genuinely hurt. Saruhiko could be honest. He could tell him he felt like a strain on Misaki, because he couldn't cook, couldn't clean anything besides dishes, couldn't take care of himself. He could tell him he felt useless and didn't know why he was still with him, how he had wanted to end it so many times because he was scared of him ending it first. He could tell him that, and more. But he was afraid. So he sighed. "Couples shouldn't live together if they haven't been dating for a while," he said. It was a cop out. 

"That's a piss poor excuse and we both know it! We've lived together before!" Misaki pointed out. "Yeah. We weren't dating but even so...even so..." He thought about everything...how Saruhiko had acted when he had tried to help with the documents. "You...you tried to hide this from me..." He whispered shakily. His voice cracking. He flinched at Misaki’s yelling. And they were in public, or at least, his subordinates were within earshot. 

"Quiet down. There's no need to yell," he said. He did try to hide it from him...perhaps because he knew he was in the wrong. He shifted slightly. "I thought this would be better," he admitted at last.

"Misaki gritted his teeth but he did lower his voice. "Better than what?" He snapped softly. "Living with me? I didn't realize you were so miserable," he scoffed.   
Zero points... Saruhiko wasn't miserable, not by a long shot. He hadn't been as happy as he was since they were teenagers, living together the first time. Why couldn't Misaki see this was for the better? That he wouldn't have to take care of his boyfriend, that they could spend time acting like a couple and not like someone taking care of a small child? Wasn’t Misaki the one miserable making sure he ate his vegetables, making sure he ate his fruit, making sure he drank enough water, making sure he got enough sleep? All of it would be gone if he moved out.

Maybe the past should've been proof of the fact Saru would be miserable with him. Here he thought Saruhiko had changed but...he was leaving again. Saruhiko was a distant person as it were...if they lived apart would they even last as a couple? Misaki's heart sank further. They hadn't even lasted as friends before...why did he ever have hope for a relationship? Hot tears stung at his eyes and he stepped away from Saruhiko. 

"Fine...just leave. Like always..." The redhead whispered, voice clearly breaking further. He turned quickly on his heel and rushed from the coat room and down the front stairs. Tears were already flowing down his face. Saruhiko would just leave him again. He felt like he was suffocating in that stuffy environment...maybe Saruhiko felt he was suffocating because of Misaki. He tore off the bowtie and threw it down on the last step before rushing out the doors.

Saruhiko stood, papers in hand and chest hollow again. He gave a short, barking laugh. Saruhiko leaving... When Misaki was the one who stormed out and away. He took a step out of the coat closet, unsure of his movements. He was shaking, his vision wasn't clear... He flopped down in a chair, slamming the files on the table as he did. He couldn't even walk by himself.

"Saruhiko," a small voice called. A tiny play hand landed on his arm. "Misaki was crying," she stated blandly. Of course, Anna had foreseen this moment from the time Saruhiko had come to Homra months before. "He's sweet...but Misaki won't get it if you don't tell him what you're feeling..."

"Of course he was crying. He doesn't get it," he muttered. "He never has. He wouldn't want to see me anyway."

"He needs you. And you need him, Saruhiko," Anna told him gently. "He won't get it unless you tell him,” She clarified again firmly. “His large heart makes him easy to hurt but...you're not as inept as you act," she pointed out. Clearly a case of the pot and the kettle.

He sighed and stood. He always hated how she just knew things. "Tell the Captain where I am," he said, getting his and Misaki’s coats before leaving briskly. He looked around; he'd be easy to find. No one was out on that day and he’d just need to follow the footprints. 

Misaki had gotten around to the back of the building before plopping down in the snow. He didn't care if he got sick. He just curled in a sobbing ball, feeling sorry for himself and feeling guilty about running off. He shivered harshly but he didn’t even bother abusing his power to stay warm.

Saruhiko saw him huddled in a ball. Stupid Misaki. He walked over and knelt down with him, putting his coat around him. "You're going to make yourself sick," he muttered. But his voice didn't have any venom in it. The sobs wracking the smaller male’s body made Fushimi’s chest constrict. 

"I don't care," Misaki muttered stubbornly. He pulled the coat close around his shoulders but didn't look up at Saru. He felt stupid and his face was probably in the negatives on Saru's point system.

"I care," he said at last. "I care if you get sick. You aren't even using your aura to make yourself warm." He sat next to him. His butt was cold, very cold, but he couldn't leave Misaki.

Misaki scoffed slightly. Red aura raised up and covered them both, melting the snow around them as well as the snow that had piled on his head. He couldn't let Saruhiko get sick. If he moved out, no one would be there to take care of him. He looked up slowly, eyes red and puffy. "Sorry...I'm being a brat...do what makes you happy..."

"I'm happy right now, being with Misaki," he said, scooting closer to him. He took his scarf and wrapped it around him, tugging on it gently. "Red is your color. Blue doesn't suit you," he murmured.

"You don't think so?" Misaki asked pouting a bit. "Because...even though they're opposite...even if it doesn't suit me..." He looked into Saru's eyes. He and Saru were complete opposites when it came down to it. But he loved Saruhiko...so much.

"Shut up," Saru said, cupping his face and pressing his lips to Misaki’s. The kiss was quick, but he was bad with words. He just wanted the other to know he loved him. So much. It made him ache when he thought about how much he loved him. "I love you.”

Misaki kissed back softly. He took both of Saru's hands and squeezed tightly. "I love you too...and I want you to do what's best for you. I guess I've been kind of a pill...nagging at you all the time and fussing over you...."

The taller inhaled shakily. "I've never minded the nagging and fussing. It's... Nice. No one ever fussed over me until I met you." He squeezed Misaki’s hands back tightly. "You're what's best for me."

"Are you sure?" Misaki asked. His gold eyes were full of uncertainty. Saruhiko was being so open but...would he really be happy with Misaki?

"You made me happy then, and you make me happy now. It's me who makes you unhappy. You have to make sure I eat properly, sleep properly, drink water..." The list went on of all the parent things Misaki did to Saru.

Misaki shook his head. "I like doing that stuff. I like making sure you're okay. Because I love you. I mean...look how scrawny you were when you first moved in. And you could barely hold down food. Your hair was shedding a lot..." Misaki had been quite unhealthy too because of his depression but being with Saruhiko helped him.

He looked at him in utter shock. "You like making sure I'm okay?" he asked. He moved to sit in front of Misaki, never breaking their handhold. "You weren't in the best shape either. Nightly nightmares and barely eating..."

Misaki nodded in conformation. "No... I wasn't...but that changed didn't it? And it wasn't because of my clan..." He pointed out.

It wasn't because of Homra, Saru realized. It was because of him. It hit him like a ton of bricks; Misaki didn't just help him. They helped each other. "I'm not moving," he blurted out. "I'm not leaving you."

Misaki's eyes grew wide. "Do you mean it?" He asked excitedly. "You'll stay with me?" 

"You're stuck with me. Besides, you're going to get a cold from running out in the snow. Someone has to take care of you," he said.

Misaki laughed brightly, tackling Saruhiko to the ground in a hug. He grinned stupidly, leaning down to kiss Saruhiko.

Saru leaned up, returning the kiss softly. "Thank you," he murmured, smiling softly at him.

Misaki pulled him back up and got to his feet. "Let's go inside?" He asked softly.

He nodded. "Your king is worried about you," he said. "Very worried about you."

"I’m sure she is. And her dad is probably worried about you." Misaki held Saruhiko's hand as they walked inside.

Sarus underlings walked up to him and asked if he was okay. He scowled at them and shoved past them and into the main ballroom, looking for the pale girl and bespectacled man, so they could prove they were okay.

Anna waved when she saw them. She was standing near Kusanagi and Seri, speaking seriously to them until she saw Misaki and Saru.

Saru looked to them and nodded once. "Do you know where the Captain is?" he asked. "I need to speak with him."

"Reisi is talking to Akiyama over there," Anna told him softly. She pointed in the direction of her adopted father. Misaki lingered a bit, thanking Anna for having Saruhiko go after him.

"I did that on my own," Saruhiko muttered as he walked away. She didn't force him outside. She just told him what he needed to hear. He left the Reds alone and stopped in front of the captain and went to the position of attention. "Captain. Disregard my application for housing," he said. "I'm remaining on campus."

Misaki waited patiently by Anna's side. He watched the blue king nod in understanding, an almost smug and knowing look on his face. Misaki looked down at Anna and she smiled softly. "He believed in you to change Saruhiko."

Saru bowed slightly and walked away, coming back to Misaki. "It's official. I'm not moving out," he said.

Misaki could hardly contain his joy as he jumped up and hugged Saruhiko tightly. "Thank you. I'm so glad..."

"Misaki," he said, rather sharply. His eyes darted to the people standing around him. "We're in public," he hissed into his ear. Oh boy. He'd never hear the end of it.

"S-sorry..." Misaki mumbled. He leaned back, blushing bright red. "Everyone already knows, Fushimi-kun," Seri told him with a small laugh.

"It doesn't mean he should suffocate me in public," he said, though his voice lost the bite. He stood standing close to Misaki trying to calm the flush from his cheeks.

Misaki flushed softly, content to hold onto his hand. The rest of the night went rather smoothly as he moved about, chatting casually with people but mostly sticking by Saruhiko. After an hour or so, his eyes felt heavy and he was becoming exhausted.

Saru was tired of the social interaction. He sighed and looked to Misaki, who was noticeably exhausted. "It's time to go," he decided, gently squeezing his hand.

"Let's go home, Saruhiko," Misaki told him. He gripped his hand tightly as they grabbed their coats and headed outside.

Home. The word warmed him greatly, almost as much as Misaki’s touch did. He smiled softly and walked with the ginger. It was cold outside but... He didn't mind. Misaki was doomed to be sick anyway-- though he actually ate veggies, so maybe his immune system would fare better-- and if Saru got sick, he had Misaki.

Misaki was thankful for the escort home in a warm van from one if the Blues. A comfortable silence remained between them and not once did Misaki release Saruhiko's hand as they rode back, or when they walked to their dorm room and unlocked it. Once inside, he looked at his boyfriend. "Something warm to drink?" He asked.

Saruhiko nodded and shrugged off his jacket. He sat down at the table and watched his boyfriend move about in the small kitchen. It felt right. He smiled softly and propped his head in his hand.

This was how it was supposed to be, Misaki realized. It felt so right... He returned with two glasses of hot tea- hibiscus and citrus with honey stirred in. He placed two immune system boosting pills on the table as well. Slowly, his eyes met Saruhiko's and he blushed a bit. "What?"

"This is how it's supposed to be," Saru said as he took the pill without complaint. He blew on the tea and sipped it after. "Taking care of each other. Even if it's not the same way."

Misaki nodded, eyes bright. He reached across the table and took Saruhiko's free hand. "Can I... ask you something?" He asked after a moment.

"It depends," he said as he took a drink of his tea. Probably asking about meals for the next semester, or living arrangements through the summer. They did have to plan now, didn't they? "What is it?"

Misaki shifted uncomfortably. He wanted answers after all this time... "Why...did you leave...I mean when you left Homra?" He bit his lip harder. "You don't have to answer right away."

He set the cup down and looked at Misaki. Why he left? Shouldn't that have been obvious at that point? He sighed softly and looked away.

"Saruhiko..." Misaki whispered. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It doesn't matter." He shook his head a bit.

"It does matter," he said, looking at his cup. "Because it's been hurting you all this time." He sighed again and looked at Misaki. "You want to know why I left? It's easy. I didn't want you to be the one to hurt me when you decided you didn't want to be my friend anymore, so I decided to hurt you and leave. I wasn't suited for Homra anyway. Everyone knew that."

"That's--!!" Misaki opened his mouth to protest then looked down. "You weren't...but that doesn't mean I didn't want to be friends...you should have told me how you felt dammit...." He had failed as Saruhiko's best friend...and he hadn't even known...his chest ached.

"I sucked at telling you how I felt. I relied on you to figure it out. It took me until now to be able to open up to you," he pointed out. And it was extremely difficult to open up to him.

Misaki squeezed his hand tightly. "I'm sorry...I should have been able to tell...Lets both try harder for now...ok?"

"Let's try harder for forever," he said, squeezing his hand. "There's still a lot to work on."

"Yeah. But I think we can do it," he told him. "One more thing...Mom wants you to come stay with us over the summer...if you'd like. She misses you. So do Minoru and Megumi...."

"So she doesn't know about anything that happened between us," he mused. "Past or present." He found it hard to believe she would miss him if she knew he had hurt Misaki.

Misaki nodded a bit and smiled. Everything would work out somehow. It always would. Even if they were always at odds with one another, he and Saruhiko could work things out somehow. Because they were a team.


End file.
